COVID Saved My Marriage
Phillip Van Winkle ??
Conscious Leadership Consultant and Coach | Systems-Based Thinking and Problem Solving | Love Trumps Ego: Mindset Training, Work Culture, Performance Improvement, Sustainable Change | INTJ | Deadhead
After 20 years of marriage, we were calling it quits. It started in 2019 when our lives were utterly misaligned - my wife lived in DC. Our marriage was essentially over. We were on our own journey now. We separated, heading for divorce.
Divorce equals financial ruin. Divorce equals the end of friendships. Divorce equals distraction from our careers. Divorce equals devastation.
During the pandemic, my wife moved back home, and we quarantined in the same house - separately but sharing the same common spaces. Living separate lives and co-parenting our son. How weird and awful 2020 was. No one knew the shame, vulnerability, and how far I had fallen emotionally and psychically.
During the winter holidays of 2020, we all got COVID one by one. We were "locked" in our house for six weeks as COVID worked through the three of us. This is my most cherished memory of 2020; during that time, my wife and I became friends again. COVID saved us individually and collectively. COVID saved our marriage and our family.
Our personal journeys evolved to a place where we were healthy and ready to intertwine them. We committed ourselves to ourselves first, then to our marriage second. We dug deep and engaged in a personal growth journey. At the time, we did not realize it would be more like an expedition akin to ascending Mount Everest.
Was it hard? More than words can tell...
Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY!
We created a vision for a very intentional life. We shed old stories and beliefs holding us back interpersonally and created a new framework. We had to let go of people who kept us in these old stories, particularly people who were not evolving with us or whose behaviors were not aligned with our new selves. We discovered our ability to create and live an intentional life and found deep happiness that we did not know existed!
We had a combined weight loss of 150 pounds and have maintained a combined weight loss of 135 pounds for nearly four years and counting! We have healthier boundaries and healthier lifestyles. Healthier minds. We are happier than we have been in our entire lives!!
If you knew us even a year ago... you would be meeting new people. Personality is not permanent, and personal transformation will do that to a person!
Our expertise lies in helping individuals achieve interpersonal transformation and sustainable change, enabling you to unlock their full potential. We accomplish this through classes, coaching, and community support explicitly designed for people who feel stuck and want to lead their lives differently.
Does your life leave you feeling that there has to be more?
Do you wish your relationships had more happiness and joy and less drama and conflict?
Do you look successful and accomplished yet not feel truly?happy and fulfilled?
Do you spend significant time distracting yourself with unhealthy, obsessive habits?
Are you ready to create positive change?
We designed the Ask Althea community to share with other savvy, accomplished people like you the mindful, intentional life that naturally creates happiness and fulfillment?in your life's journey by aligning your life with what matters most to you.
We've been conducting our anecdotal research with our friends and family. The stories they tell! We all have pain, suffering, and thoughts of "if I knew then what I know now" moments. Clarity in hindsight. How we might do things differently if we had a second chance. The ripple from decisions we make early in life has a generational impact - especially if they go unresolved, especially if you pass dysfunctional thoughts, stories, and behaviors to your children through alcoholism, workaholic behaviors, disempowerment, or neglect.
If we could counsel our younger selves before venturing too far along our life's journey, it would be to SLOW DOWN. Take ample time to make deliberate, purposeful decisions regarding the most essential facets of life—career, social circle, and life partner. The consequences of choices made in our youth can cause a mid-life or existential crisis later in life. This crisis happens as we learn more about ourselves and realize that we are not happy or deeply fulfilled with the path our decisions lead us.?
This is the Season of "What Now"?
We offer our courses, coaching, and community with humility and love for you and your journey. You will find the courage?to do the uncomfortable but unavoidable work that will create the breakthroughs that lead you to recover your authentic self and live the authentic life you were meant to.
It’s easy to?internalize the values, priorities, and beliefs of others – from your family of origin to popular culture more broadly – without consciously?and?intentionally questioning whether they genuinely align with what you?believe.
When we begin to realize that following the inherited beliefs and values of others may create what looks like success on the outside but doesn’t lead to happiness and fulfillment on the inside, we start to experience the nagging questions above.
We designed the Ask Althea community to share this personal development journey with other savvy, accomplished people like you to help create a deeply fulfilling and genuinely happy life.?
Creating an Intentional Life?
It all starts with slowing down?long enough to collect your thoughts and?reflect on your life?with honest self-awareness. Who are you authentically compared to who you have been subconsciously trying to be to fit in and be accepted?
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The more significant the gap between these two, the more discontent you will likely be.
Living a purposeful, intentional life is hard when you don’t know precisely what is most important to you – your values and priorities – and why.
Living intentionally is about knowing what is truly important - and what is not - and giving the essential things?they need and deserve all the time.
An intentional life naturally creates happiness?in your life’s journey by aligning your life with what?matters most to you.
?What is Happiness??
The longest-running longitudinal study of happiness, the famous ‘Harvard Study,’ found the strongest correlation to happiness?was close relationships like spouses, family, and friends.
Once a person reaches a moderate income level, the factors that research has consistently?shown contribute most to happiness:
What a contrast to the success checklist!
?Mindfulness is the Master Key?
Why do we live the way we do when it does not bring us deep joy and happiness? The short answer is mindlessness.?
That’s a whole lot of mindlessness going on! The antidote, of course, is mindfulness.?
Mindfulness is getting to know yourself – your authentic self – especially how your mind works and your relationship to it.
Mindfulness would include the discernment process of self-discovery: who am I, what are my values and priorities, what do I believe?and why?
Mindfulness also includes creating and managing change in your thoughts, feelings, behavior, beliefs, and life. In short, mindfulness is the master key to understanding your authentic self and creating an authentic life that aligns with your authentic self. This is the essence of intentional living, a lifestyle true to your?authentic self.
Which is why we say that?mindfulness?is the master key.
The Results You Will Get?
You have the power within you to?create the life you want – an intentional life – where you get to be your authentic self and experience success and?happiness every day.
We created Ask Althea to make mindfulness?understandable, accessible, and a practical tool to create an intentional life you want and the joy and happiness you deserve.
Engagement is critical to creating the?change you've longed for...??
Your journey to mindfulness and an intentional life may be more fruitful much earlier in your life than mine. We offer our courses, coaching, and community with humility and immense love for you and your journey. We want you to find the courage to do the uncomfortable but unavoidable work that will create the breakthroughs that lead you to recover your authentic self, live the authentic life you were meant to, and find enduring joy there.
Mindset Transformation Coaching is for those seeking to accelerate personal growth. If you want to achieve sustainable positive change to enjoy a happier, more successful life, contact me to explore more. It requires curiosity and a little courage, and You are so worth it!
Our expertise lies in helping individuals achieve interpersonal transformation and sustainable change, enabling you to unlock your full potential. We accomplish this through classes, coaching, and community support explicitly designed for people who feel stuck and want to lead their lives differently.
Everything about the Ask Althea community revolves around unlocking your full potential by creating a mindful, intentional life that will naturally bring you the true happiness you long for. Check us out at www.askalthea.org
?????Trusted IT Solutions Consultant | Technology | Science | Life | Author, Tech Topics | My goal is to give, teach & share what I can. Featured on InformationWorth | Upwork | ITAdvice.io | Salarship.Com
10 个月Phillip, thanks for sharing!
Vice President of Services at Storr Office Environments
11 个月Thanks for sharing. Congrats! Proud to be a friend and witness to this blossoming.
Helping E-Commerce Brands Profit and Scale ??? Full-Funnel E-Commerce Strategy ??? Paid Media ??? Web Development ??? No Long-Term Agreements
11 个月This is wonderful.
Leader | Entrepreneur | Gap Year Expert | Gen Z Mindfulness Mentor | Yogi | Learner
11 个月Inspiration shining brightly! Thank you for re-writing your story and creating an intentional life. It's exciting to be purposeful and to create a life built on joy and happiness.
Your vulnerability is beautiful!