Why Aren't You Happy?

Looking back over the last 20 years of my career since I entered the telecom market in 1999, I see no correlation between the amount of money I made to my happiness in life. I had years where I had a $40 weekly grocery budget and I was living my best years, and years where I have no clue where 20 grand was unaccounted for in my budget and I was miserable.

Maslow's hierarchy teaches us that there are many areas within ourselves that need to be fulfilled in order to achieve happiness but it doesn't really take into consideration each of our individual life experiences and the items on each of our balancing scales differs drastically. So with everything being thrown at us on a daily basis, there is no psychology lesson, article or blog that can help us individually balance our scale but here are my take aways from my personal experience to getting out of a rut and how I found my "happy ????????":

1?? Step One- Turn everything off. Take a break. Spend some time alone. Look in the mirror. Put down your phone. Take a day and spend it alone whether it is hiking, driving to a new destination, or a day on the lake.

2?? Talk to yourself and figure out what makes you tick. What is your passion? Ask yourself questions such as "Are you okay? Do you like yourself? Do you feel important? What do you like? What would you like to be doing? What is your passion (NOT your current job unless you are already living your dream)? What are your favorite things, list them out..especially if you're a giver like me you often overlook your favorite things in lieu of making others happy.

3?? List all the things that currently take life from you and don't give back into you. And chart our how far apart you are from doing what you're doing now and what you listed above that you are passionate about. If there is a drastic spread between the two then it's time to make some life changes. The people that are attached to you are directly linked to you achieving your passion and happiness. If these people that are closest to you, aren't supportive of your passions and dreams then this will be your first move- detach. I am not telling everyone to run out and get a divorce if you're married. If you are married to a person that does not support you both in achieving each of your passions (they don't have to be the same, but its most excellent if they are common) then you need to sit down and figure out if it's plausible. If it's not then seriously consider an exit strategy. You have one life- Live it.

4?? Create a detailed plan. Your plan for achieving what you are passionate about should be very detailed. It may take you 3-4 months to finalize that plan. Then you need to find a mentor to review that plan with you. It should be someone who is living their dream. Recently, I listened to a interview with Nancy Novak with Compass Data Centers and Tiffany English with Qualcomm and Tiffany shared her vision of creating your personal Board of Directors. Build your team, your tribe of people who get you, who get your vision and believe in you and are invested in you.

I believe in you, and whatever your version of "Happy" is perfect so shake off all your bad experiences, bad learnings, bad relationships, bad employment experiences, and be thankful that you an opportunity to embrace the fullness of who you are meant to be.

Thanks for letting me share,

Mara