Why aren't you asking for help?

I'm passionate about sharing actionable advice and mentoring to help you figure out any challenges you're facing in your career. I now write regularly about this on my blog, which you can subscribe to here.

I share personal experiences – with lessons from my career – as well as honest thoughts on unanswered questions.

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Asking for help is not a weakness. It's not an admission of failure. It's a sign of strength and acceptance of your knowledge and abilities.

It's perfectly normal.

However, I know from experience how hard people find asking for help. And that's ok.

But if this is you and you're wondering how to think a little differently next time you need some support at work, here are a few ideas.

1. You're creating personal accountability

This is the main reason I ask for help – I know I need accountability. Specifically, I need a deadline to help me focus.

Giving me a vague ‘deliver it in a few weeks’ brief is the worst. I spend far too long thinking about what I could do, and not enough time doing it.

I’ve written about this before, but I can get ridiculously wrapped up in laying out a presentation deck, without adding anything useful to it, and somehow thinking this is a productive use of my time.

However, I now know to ask for a deadline.

And if there isn’t one, I create one and tell someone so I can hold myself to account.

2. You're seeking an alternative opinion

Sometimes we need reassurance. Sometimes we need to be told the exact opposite.

Either way, asking for an alternative opinion gives you the chance to hear a different side of the story.

Simple really... ish.

The challenge here is being open to the feedback, especially if it's negative, and not seeing it as a criticism. But, after you've done it once, it does get easier.

Try it.

3. You're asking an expert

Admitting someone does something better than you is also difficult, but it shows you know what you can and can't do.

For example, I know I need design support from far more talented people than me. But it doesn't just have to be a completely different job role to yours.

It could just be that you know someone who's a fantastic proofreader, shit-hot with Excel, or offers good advice.

All of these are valid.

(By the way, they're examples of recent scenarios where I've asked for help.)

4. You're helping someone else develop?

The last thing we let go of when we become people managers is the idea that we have to do everything.

It's super difficult, but necessary if you want to develop. Good managers learn to work through it, trust their team and help them develop.

By allowing someone else to tackle a project or problem, you're also helping them learn and develop in their career – while also doing yourself a favour.

Win, win.

Although, please bear in mind this doesn't mean you should delegate everything just because you can. Now that is bad management.

5. You're saving time

If you find all of the above options too hard to reconcile with your ‘must-do everything’ mindset, let me finish with this one – asking for help saves time.

You're not stumbling through trying to complete something you know isn't your strength, instead, you're finding a person you know can do it quicker (and probably better).

So whether you're outsourcing or asking someone internally, remember the benefits – it's an investment in your personal brain space, not just a cost.