Why Aren’t We Talking About Favouritism in the Workplace?

We don’t talk about it, but favouritism is silently wrecking trust in the workplace—are you part of the problem?

Do you have favourites? Have you ever found yourself unintentionally favouring certain individuals on your team?

This topic rarely makes its way into leadership conversations, yet its impact is felt—subtle but undeniable.

While the notion of having "favourites" may feel uncomfortable to address, its consequences are too important to ignore.

Why? Because favouritism erodes the trust that your team needs to thrive.

When one employee receives preferential treatment—whether earned or not—it sends ripples through your team.

It doesn’t just hurt motivation; it triggers resentment, disengagement, and frustration. Why should others push themselves if their hard work is overlooked?

Slowly, the very culture you’ve worked hard to build begins to unravel, as employees lose confidence not just in you but in each other.

In today’s newsletter I’ll explore how to move away from favouritism and cultivate an environment where every team member feels valued and engaged.

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What Does Favouritism Look Like?

Favouritism can be subtle, but its effects are anything but. Here are a few scenarios to watch out for.

Personal Connections: assigning a high-profile project to a trusted colleague, even when another team member is more qualified, can create disillusionment and frustration within the team.

Similar Backgrounds: favouring employees who share your experiences or interests—whether it’s attending the same school or enjoying similar hobbies—limits opportunities for others who don’t share those connections.

Perceived Loyalty: prioritizing long-time employees or those perceived as more loyal over newer team members with stronger track records risks stagnation. Loyalty should never outshine innovation and growth.

Charisma or Attraction: charismatic employees may naturally capture your attention but assigning them high-visibility projects despite average performance can prevent others from stepping into opportunities where they could excel.

These subtle factors can quietly divide even the most cohesive work environments.

As a leader, it’s your responsibility to ensure you're not unintentionally compromising the team’s potential by favouring certain individuals.

The Emotional Toll of Favouritism

Favouritism doesn’t just affect performance metrics—it deeply affects how people feel.

Imagine being the overlooked employee, repeatedly passed over despite hard work and dedication.

Over time, this leads to disillusionment, resentment, and a sense of isolation. On the other hand, employees who receive undue favouritism may face backlash, straining relationships within the team.

The result? A culture where trust is fractured, and collaboration feels forced rather than natural.

How to Move from Favouritism to Trust-Building

Recognizing favouritism is the first step, but actively working to eliminate it will transform your team dynamics. Here are practical steps to get you started.

1. Quarterly Feedback Forums

Organize small-group discussions where employees can openly share concerns or ideas. Rotating participants ensures everyone’s voice is heard, giving you insight into how team dynamics are perceived.

2. Annual 'Clarity Session'

Host a company-wide session to review key decisions, such as promotions and project assignments. Use performance data to showcase the rationale behind decisions, reinforcing transparency.

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3. Check Your Biases

Are your decisions driven by merit, or are personal preferences creeping in? Keep a journal to track key decisions, comparing them against objective performance criteria to maintain self-awareness.

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4. Anonymous 360-Degree Feedback

Empower your team to give you honest, anonymous feedback on your leadership style. This can highlight biases you may not be aware of and provide valuable insights into how you’re perceived.

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5. Weekly Team Recognition Roundups

Dedicate a few minutes during team meetings to recognize everyone's contributions. Encourage shout-outs from the team, ensuring even quieter members are acknowledged for their efforts.

Final Considerations

Favouritism, even when unintentional, can chip away at team trust, morale, and performance.

But by actively focusing on fairness, transparency, and inclusion, you can build a team where everyone feels valued.

When you eliminate favouritism, you create an environment where trust isn’t just restored—it thrives.

Your team will feel more connected, more motivated, and more invested in collective success.

As a leader, the power to shape this culture is in your hands!?

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Leaders: What will you do today to make your team feel valued?

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About Mireille Bergraaf

Mireille Bergraaf MCC ESIA is an internationally accredited ICF Master Coach (MCC) with over 10+ years of experience in coaching, leadership, and spirituality. She specializes in empowering leaders to cultivate empathy and compassion through coaching skills.

Mireille is the founder of Dutch Leadership Development (DLD), a leadership development company that works at the intersection of spirituality and business and focuses on cultivating coaching cultures within organization.

Mireille advocates for integrating spirituality in businesses to promote empathy, compassion, kindness, and integrity in teamwork.

She guides companies to cultivate coaching cultures within their organizations. Coaching cultures promote trust, open communication, welcoming challenges for growth, embracing diversity, team engagement, supporting creativity, and thinking beyond individual interests to contribute positively to the world.