Why The Answer To Every Career Dilemma Is A Really Good Question!

Happy New Year! Is 2024 the year you make ‘that’ career move? When you think about taking decisive action, I am willing to bet there’s a whole host of dialogue, doubts, and fears getting in the way of your thinking clearly.

In the 21st-century world of careers, the problem isn’t a lack of choice for most professionals.

The problem is actually too much choice.

And too much choice is overwhelming.

Neurologically, we can only handle a limited number of variables when it comes to decision-making. Whether it’s choosing your next coffee, your kid’s school, your next holiday destination, or your next role, we can only tolerate up to 5 variables at any one time. More than that and we cannot make an informed and quality decision. We may even go into avoidance of any decision at all because the process feels bewildering.

Has this ever happened to you?

For twenty years, I’ve been helping professionals across the world make great decisions about their careers. I’ve worked with aid workers in Tanzania, lawyers in Switzerland, salespeople in Australia, real estate experts in the UK, and asset managers in New York. I’ve worked with everyone from grads to CEOs and everyone in between.

Here’s what they all have in common when it comes to career dilemmas…. They were asking the wrong questions.

Our mind works through questions. What do I need to do next? Where is my toothbrush?

What time is it? Often, these short practical questions work well for getting us through the day. However, when it comes to the bigger decisions, the right question is crucial.

Let me give you an example.

I once worked with a family trust solicitor. She had done really well and had a great reputation. She liked her work. But the road to Partner was blocked. There was a headcount freeze for the previous couple of years and no matter what mentorship she had, she just wasn’t going to be able to take that next step up. Her question:

“Why won’t they make me Partner? Why won’t they make an exception? Is it me?” and worst of all…. “What do I do next?”

The answers to these questions were all dead-end streets. They were likely to take her into self-criticism or limitation or fantasy. They wouldn’t help her get any closer to what she wants. I needed to make sure that the questions asked inspired confidence and clarity. And what do I do threatened to overwhelm her altogether and increase her sense of powerlessness.

So instead, I pitched my most favourite career coaching question.

“What experience are you looking for?”

Immediately she brightened. She started to share about areas of particular interest and curiosity that stretched beyond family trust fund work. She loved to feel she was learning new things, stretching her comfort zones, and being recognised for her expertise.

This one simple question completely changed her perspective.

The cool thing about this question is that it doesn’t overwhelm us with too many options. In fact, it focuses on the one thing we can be sure of – how we think and feel inside. When we have these criteria clear it becomes much easier to know which options to consider and what to do next.

My client couldn’t change the headcount. She couldn’t force her way up. What she could do was get clear about what she wanted to experience next and then design a way to achieve that. For her, ultimately, this meant a year of retraining to move her focus toward international law and policy-making. She now works for the Foreign Office, as a legal expert on Brexit and other tricky areas of humanitarian and social impact law.

At Career Matters, we use my Career Equation model to deep dive into the experience your people want in their careers. Then we help them to use this insight to start a conversation with the business about how they could move towards it. This ownership helps them take charge of their career, finding out what opportunities exist internally and sharing the latent capacity they have in their career role, so you can get more out of them and they can get more out of work! We’ve helped folks at Nomura, Amazon, Thales, and many more, do just that.

If you’re reading this as a recruiter, manager, talent lead, or coach, I invite you to explore adding this simple ‘experience’ question to your repertoire.

Not only is it much more open and exploratory than “Where do you want to be in five years?” but it also generates a huge amount of insight about who is in front of you and what matters most to them. The more we understand about where our people see their future, the better opportunity we have to coach and develop them to move in that direction. You also have the chance to help them see that their future is with your team, firm, or scheme, rather than looking elsewhere.

Remember, the quality of their decision will be informed by the quality of their question, so help them pinpoint what they want to experience next and work out how to help them get there.

Would you like to master career conversations in just 15 minutes?

If you are keen to dive into how exactly we help managers and leaders retain their talent through a simple career conversation - you can get started today. Click here to sign up for our free video course and unlock the most useful 15 minutes of 2024!

Alternatively, drop me a line and let me know how I can help you solve your personal career dilemma or design a career conversation strategy that will drive retention and performance