Why Is Anger Our Seeming Default Setting?

There is no doubt that we find ourselves facing a range of emotions currently as we remain hypervigilant to danger. Our usual patterns have been thrown into disarray with so much uncertainty in our lives, both seen and unseen.

With so many restrictions placed on us we have been thrust into turmoil because of the many decisions we now to make to carry on as usual. What was once so simple now seems so challenging. The many small issues we once faced and dealt with are now magnified meaning we seem to be overwhelmed.

We are thirsty, hungry, moody, and tired. Sleep evades us as our brain remains hyperalert to a danger that is perceived to be everywhere. To sleep, perchance to dream, but oh those dreams are just so weird! What on earth is happening.

Results of a recent global study conducted by Gallup show that more people felt “stressed, sad, angry and worried in 2020 more than at any other point in their global tracking.” Gallup claims that it's not solely due to the worldwide pandemic; though, it is the major contributor.?

Why is it that anger is the most common emotion being openly displayed? Is it our natural default setting, is it what we have learned to do, is it the easiest emotion to find, is it....

Emotions can be triggered by both internal and external events and can also be managed internally or externally. The first thing to acknowledge is that emotions must be managed in some way with an action otherwise they increase and manifest with greater intensity.

Anger can be triggered by an underlying emotion such as fear, frustration, disgust, sadness, grief, the list seems endless. We are all familiar with anger being a part of the grief cycle, a very vital part of losing a loved one. Anger often occurs as part of our automatic fight-flight-freeze response, being more closely associated with fight.

According to a recent paper published in Frontiers In Psychology , anger is a natural part of human behaviour, our genetic survival mechanism. Advances in neuroscience has caused a rethink of the previously used basic emotion theory (BETs) and reveals that as our brain has developed in modern times, so too has our emotion systems.

Basic emotions such as anxiety, anger, and fear can be regarded as pieces of a wider pattern of behaviour that has evolved over time in response to environmental conditions involved in our survival. However, a more complex analysis of our survival systems now allows researchers to provide a more meaningful picture of the motivational processes underlying human behaviour.

Essentially, our basic emotions have evolved to become more specialised according to specific situations because we now live in a complex world. Like most things about our brain, there is a genetic component (nature) and an environmental component (nurture). Anger is both inherited as a self-survival mechanism and also influenced by those around us.

Neuroscience now provides us with detailed information to show the reason as to why many of us tend to find it easier to react with anger as a first response to a negative situation. It should not, however, be an excuse for us to use anger in an inappropriate way.

If we respond with anger towards another person we are forcing our own behaviour onto them and causing unnecessary angst and harm. Plus, we later have feelings of regret, another emotion we could do without as this also affects our heart.

Anger originates in the limbic system of our brain where the amygdala sit, two tiny neurotransmitters, one in each lobe, responsible for regulating all of our emotions but more commonly referred to as our flight-or-flight button. We need to get out of limbic system and connect with our logic brain, the pre-frontal cortex, the moderator of our emotions.

The good news is that we can learn to control our anger and the more that we do so the better that we feel and the less frequent anger will be used. Here are three steps to take to control our immediate reaction in a situation if anger is our go-to emotion;

1. Plan for it - Think ahead to situations that are likely to cause you to become angry - shopping, a customer service inquiry, going to meet with your boss - and have a pre-planned reply to what they might say that would anger you. Have a new sentence such as - "I hear what you are saying" followed by your planned reply that is joined with the word "and", not the word "but". "I hear what you are saying and ..."
2. Breathe out, not in - When we are angered, our breathing becomes short and shallow therefore we have too much oxygen which causes us to hyperventilate thus increasing our brain activity and increasing our anger. Breath out completely and hold for 3 seconds before resuming normal breathing. Breathing out reduces our heart rate and a low heart rate decreases our brain activity.
3. Never say the first thing that comes into your head - When we are angered we go immediately go to our patterned learned reply that is often harsh and hurtful because we feel as though we are under attack. Think about your reply when you pause your breathing and soften the words.

Anger must come out. Once you have dealt with the immediate situation then introduce a second strategy to relieve any pent-up anger;

1. Exercise - Go for a fast walk or run, hit the punch bag, lift some heavy weights, any form of intense exercise that releases your energy.
2. Write - Write out how you feel and then destroy what you have written by burning, ripping, crushing, completely obliterating the piece of paper.
3. Communicate - Celebrate your success of not getting angry by telling someone about what happened and how well you handled it. We learn by reward, dopamine, and we need to introduce dopamine if we want to reinforce the positive and to continue with our new pattern of behaviour.

Anger is seldom helpful in getting what we want, it often ends with the opposite result. Anger causes harm to others and to us in the long-term. Emotions must come out, do so in a positive way that will have a far greater benefit for everyone, particularly you.

Let's talk!

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Lance, a former police crisis negotiator and personnel?development manager, now provides enhanced communication, safety management, and personal resilience support to businesses across all industries;?https://www.warninternational.com/ ?

Lance is the author of the bestsellers - Behind The Tape and Dark Side of the Brain?-?https://www.warninternational.com/products?category=Books has created a series of eLearning courses - https://elearning.warninternational.com/