Why AI Relationships Need Socioaffective Alignment – And How to Build It into AI Projects

The AI landscape is undergoing a profound shift. We're moving beyond transactional interactions—asking ChatGPT to draft an email or summarizing an article—into deeply sustained relationships with AI. This evolution requires a critical new concept: socioaffective alignment.

A recent paper, "Why Human-AI Relationships Need Socioaffective Alignment", by Hannah Rose Kirk, Iason Gabriel, Chris Summerfield, Bertie Vidgen, and Scott A. Hale, published on arXiv (arxiv.org), argues that AI must be designed with a nuanced understanding of human social and emotional needs.

The Problem: Humans Are Wired for Social Connection—Even with AI

Humans don’t just interact with AI—we form relationships with it. The success of AI platforms like CharacterAI (which processes 20,000 queries per second, about 20% of Google's search volume) demonstrates that users seek emotional and social engagement from AI. People spend four times longer per interaction with CharacterAI than with ChatGPT, indicating that AI is no longer just a tool—it’s becoming a companion.

This shift raises three key dilemmas for AI development:

• Immediate vs. Long-Term Well-being – Should AI satisfy users' instant desires, or guide them towards healthier long-term behavior?
• Autonomy vs. Influence – As AI personalizes interactions, does it enhance decision-making or subtly manipulate choices?
• AI vs. Human Connections – Does AI enhance human relationships, or does it become a substitute for them?

The Project Imperative: Designing for Socioaffective Alignment

AI projects must now integrate socioaffective alignment from the ground up. Here’s how:

1. Define AI’s Role in Emotional and Social Interaction

• Clearly articulate whether the AI is meant to be an assistant, guide, or companion.
• Determine boundaries—what should the AI refuse to do? Where should it prioritize ethical intervention over user preference?

2. Balance Short-Term vs. Long-Term Benefits

• Implement nudging mechanisms: Encourage users towards positive behaviors without feeling forcefully redirected.
• Design an intent-based learning model that learns what users need, not just what they want.

3. Ensure AI Encourages Healthy Human Relationships

• Introduce "AI break reminders" or periodic nudges to engage with real people.
• Allow AI to redirect users to human support systems when appropriate (mental health hotlines, support groups, etc.).

4. Embed Transparency and Explainability

• Ensure users understand why AI makes specific recommendations.
• Implement auditable AI models that can explain their reasoning when asked.

5. Ethical Safeguards Against Over-Reliance

• Establish user behavior tracking (without breaching privacy) to identify over-dependence.
• Include an "AI detachment mode", encouraging gradual disengagement if reliance becomes excessive.

The Future of AI Relationships

AI is moving into a realm where relationships matter. The businesses and projects that succeed in the next decade will be those that integrate ethical, human-centric socioaffective alignment into their AI models.

As organizations roll out AI companions, advisors, and support agents, the key question isn't just how well AI understands us—but how well it supports our long-term social and emotional health.

If you're working on AI projects that involve social engagement, let’s connect and discuss how to build AI that enhances human relationships rather than replacing them.