Why adoration has made me a better marketer

I'm feeling adored. Valued, special and cherished. Like I am truly the one and only. We're talking red roses, texts with heart emojis, PDA that would put teenagers to shame and a look that has me blushing so much that I think my skin color might be changing permanently.

I have never lacked love in my life. Lots of it. Adoration? Not so much. It feels very different to me. Sweet. Fun. Poignant. Slightly uncomfortable. A tad embarrassing. Beautiful.

So I starting wondering if adoration is different than love. It turns out many people have pondered this same question, particularly as it relates to the complex romantic dance between men and women.

The consensus seems to be that you can love someone without adoring them. Adoration is about opening your heart and demonstrating affection, admiration and even worship. Adoration and devotion go hand-in-hand. And women yearn to be adored. (I think men do too, but most of the research is about women and their need for adoration.)

One thing I have learned about adoration is that it is a two-way street. Dom adores me. I adore him. Both of us very consciously treat each other with admiration and affection. He surprises me with roses. I surprise him with a card. He reaches out for my hand at the same time I am reaching for his.

He's a bit more into PDA than I am (never realized that I have a bit of a conservative streak), but when I watch his face light up from an unexpected kiss, the world melts away from me. I don't give a hoot what the world thinks about the gushy old folks.

Looking at, and more importantly, experiencing adoration has made me reflect about what it implies for marketing.

Shouldn't our goal be for customers to adore our companies and brands? We talk about turning our customers into brand advocates or evangelists. We consider the Net Promoter, which measures recommendation, as the penultimate score for customer satisfaction. We brag about how our customers love us and how much we love them. But are we settling for the wrong thing? Don't we really want our customers to adore us?

Adore means that customers publicly show how they feel about our brands and companies. Adore means customers are devoted, that we become their one and only. Adore means customers are open to us in ways that forgive our inevitable missteps and rejoice in new innovations we bring them.

As a consumer, I started thinking about what brands and companies I adore. I adore my grocery store, which just happens to be Rochester-bred Wegman's where I have been shopping my whole life. I adore specific products within big brands like Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream and Throlo walking socks. I adore my doctor, Dr. Angela Marshall at Comprehensive Women's Health. And I adore certain non-profits like Great Dames. See, I just went public!

These are my one and only's. I adore them all because they make me feel cherished through their behavior, communications, support of causes I care about and a host of other reasons. It is a whole package -- not an ad or social media campaign.

Shouldn't we actually adore our customers if we want them to adore us? I don't think you can fake adoration. By its very nature, it needs to feel authentic. Contrived adoration just feels greasy.

Every single day I walk around feeling NOT adored by the companies that are spending millions to get and keep my business. We all have our lists of companies we don't want to do business with anymore because they truly act like we are not important. In fact, when I find companies or brands that act in adoring ways, I will pay more, shop more and recommend more.

But that adoration has to come from the heart. How many time do we adore the prospect and forget the customer? How many times do we promote product benefits that fall short? How many time do we make customers wait as if their time is not as valuable as ours? How many times do we play around with pricing for short-term gain, but forget about long-term relationships?

Unfortunately, heart does not come from an employee training manual. It does not come from an emotion-laden commercial. It does not come from writing a check for a cause. It does not matter the size of the organization or what industry it is part of.

Heart comes from a organization's culture and values. It comes from leadership. It comes from every employee realizing that their jobs are intrinsically linked to customer adoration.

So that's what I have learned so far about adoration. It is still a new topic for me, but it seems like a rich area to explore both in my personal and professional lives, which are lovingly and intentionally entwined.

And, my dear and curious readers from around the world, here is a selfie of me being adored. Keeping it real.