Why Active Listening is a Must-Do!

The initiative didn't pass at this school. However, the other ten sites eagerly voted for it. The grant would provide thousands of dollars to individual sites over five years. Parents, teachers, and other stakeholders will determine their communities' needs and use the grant to satisfy students' academic, emotional, and practical needs. No extra work for teachers. This more democratic community model would distribute responsibility for students equally to all stakeholders.

Interestingly, one disgruntled employee, Natalie, leveraged her influence at her school site to campaign against the initiative. A powerful figure on campus, other educators were easily swayed by her directive to decline the district's offer to submit the grant on behalf of the school.

Our leadership team was puzzled by her reaction.

Looking to understand Natalie's motivation, we engaged her by asking questions. The goal was to listen without judgment or persuasion.

At first, she was guarded.

However, the safer she felt, the more emotionally transparent she became. We learned Natalie has been carrying around bitterness and distrust towards the district for years. These unresolved feelings only intensified as pay raise negotiations stalled with the administration.

It became the filter through which she made decisions and interacted with the leaders of the district. The emotional reasoning, however, errant as it was, became a powerful negative tool she used to influence others on campus. When Natalie speaks people listen. They voted. The school will not have access to this grant which could transform the academic lives of hundreds of students and their families.

Interestingly, once she was given a platform to air her feelings, it was as if she snapped out of the emotionally charged decision she made about the initiative. We re-explained the many benefits of the grant for teachers, administration, students, and families. But it was too late. Teachers already voted. The opportunity passed them by.

Here's the lesson.

As a leader make active listening a priority. This communication skill must be in your toolkit. The ability to empathetically connect with leaders and hear their point of view is critical to moving a vision forward.

Here are a few tips:

1. Take Your Opinion and Put it Aside. It is unimportant that you agree with the person. Understand their trail of thought, their reasoning, and reality. When someone feels understood, negative emotions dissipate, and objectivity surfaces.
2. Rephrase What's Being Said. Simply restating what the person is saying to you shows you are present. It affirms the communicator. If you find your mind roaming, return your attention to the person speaking.
3. Ask Questions for Clarification. To better understand someone, ask questions to get a better picture. This shows you care and want to understand them. People feel validated when you do this.
4. Use Body Language. Convey care and empathy through your gestures and body language. Nodding your head, smiling, and looking into a person's eyes displays warmth and sensitivity.

Leaders, gone are the days where factual presentations result in blind acceptance of your initiatives. Leading according to how people are wired means creating a safe space for those who dissent to air perceptions and emotions--the more immediate the better. Perhaps, a candid conversation with Natalie early on--before the bitterness took root, could have resulted in more grounded decisions based on what's best for the students rather than based in retaliation towards leadership on the district level.

Actively listen to your people. Uncover their beliefs and perceptions. Then, you can address their deeper concerns which then encourages people to "hear" you more objectively. This results in better decisions. This can move the vision forward rapidly in some cases. Make active listening a "must do" in your communication system.

About Professor Rosalind Henderson

Professor Rosalind Henderson is the CEO of Leadership Keys. She teaches college and corporate audiences about how to powerfully multiply their influence so they are managing people effectively and realizing their wildest dreams. If you are interested in Professor Rosalind Henderson speaking to your organization, corporation, or college on topics such as conflict resolution, self-management, success habits, resilience, emotional regulation, and more, contact her at [email protected] or book a consult at https://www.calendly.com/rosalindhenderson1