Why Acceptance is the Biggest Mindset Shift to Make when Dealing with Your Controlling Partner

Sometimes life’s just not fair is it?

From worldwide problems like war, famine and global warming to the small, day-to-day, inconsequential issues like, ‘why can’t I ever find a pair of trousers that fit?’ and ‘why do I only have to look at a chocolate hob-nob to put on 5lbs’. Life’s just not fair.

And what really isn’t fair is that somehow, along the way, you ended up in a relationship with a man who treats you abominably most of the time. OK, there might be the odd hiatus when things feel better, but you know it’s only a temporary blip and he’ll revert to type before too long.

It’s not fair that you’re with a man like this, it’s not fair if you’re no longer with him, but he’s still exerting control over you and it’s not fair if the relationship was over some time ago, but you’re still feeling the effects and struggling to properly move on and rebuild your life.

It’s so easy, when you’re feeling low, to sink into a bottomless pit of despair and spend your days thinking ‘it’s not fair’, ‘why me’ or ‘what did I do to deserve this’.

The fact of the matter is that bad things do indeed happen to good people.

But, here’s the thing:

You can’t change the past, you can’t change what brought you to the place you’re in now and you certainly can’t change him.

Spending your days in a self-pitying and ‘life isn’t fair’ mentality will only keep you stuck in a twilight zone of a half-life for as long as you let it. You’ll never be able to move forward with intent, break into the light and find true freedom and happiness if you feel and act like a victim.

Don’t give him the satisfaction!

So here’s what you do, in the words of the famous prayer:

• You accept the things you cannot change,
• You have the courage to change the things you can,
• And you have wisdom to know the difference.

Once you acknowledge and accept that you are where you are, you step into a more powerful version of you and create your own catalyst to process, recover and properly move on and live life the way you choose.

Let him be the one that wallows in self-pity and plays the victim of the terrible wife or ex who treats him so badly – he plays this part so well after all!

You, on the other hand, know better. You know that you can’t change the past, you can’t change him, but you can change you.

Start practicing acceptance now and tell yourself each day that you:

• Forgive yourself for being where you are,
• Accept the reality of the situation,
• Draw your line in the sand,
• Say ‘enough now’

And look forward to all that life has still to offer you.