Why There Are 3 Sides To Every (Workplace) Story

I heard yet another story today from a client who's feeling wronged in the workplace. This person's pain is real. He's suffering. And yet, I can't help but think:

There are three sides to this story. The accuser, the accused, and the truth.

If you're feeling emotional, you'll likely not seeing things objectively.

Any time we feel wronged at work, the emotions overtake rationality. We can't see multiple sides of the story because we're hurting. Only when the hurt disappears can we start to look at the situation from all points of view.

They're out to get me! (Well, it felt that way at the time.)

Many years ago, I worked in a highly dysfunctional office. The owner of the company was brilliant, but lacked emotional intelligence. The result? The only people that stayed around were the ones that couldn't get hired anyplace else. I was in my early twenties and didn't yet understand the concept of making sure an employer was a good match for my skills and values. I just wanted the job and failed to see the warning signs during the interview i.e. as I met potential coworkers they all seemed annoyed or afraid. I mistakenly assumed they were just busy.

Within six months of working there, I was convinced my peers were trying to make me have a nervous breakdown.

Each day, I'd be thrown a new curve ball that would increase my stress. The more I tried to please the people I worked with, the meaner they became - at least, it felt that way. I started looking for a new job, but it took time. Meanwhile, I began eating a lot of pizza (my favorite food), and packed on a few "stress pounds" in the process. When I finally landed a new job and resigned, it was like a weight lifted off me. Only after I left could I see my former colleagues coped with working at such a terrible place by taking it out on each other. I suddenly felt sorry for the very people I despised and couldn't wait to stop working with.

Believe it or not, today I'm actually grateful for that early work experience.

I don't think it's an accident I ended up in HR, recruiting, and career coaching. Experiences like that make you want to find ways to make sure others don't go through it!

TRY THIS TODAY: If you're feeling wronged in the workplace, ask yourself, "What side of the story am I not seeing?" It may not make things better, but it could help you cope while you figure out your next move. Understanding motive can be a great equalizer and offer you some insight on how to handle the situation differently.

My name is J.T. - I believe life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself. My job is to help people get better at how they create their careers. If you're looking for daily inspiration and feel a connection to what I've written, I hope you'll follow me here and consider sharing it with your peers on LinkedIn. Why don't we all Work It Daily and become better together?