Whose Listening, Please Stand Up

Listen To Yourself

Have you ever felt like who’s going to listen to me? Well, this came up yesterday when I was asked what sabotaging cycles I have??

Now, to own sabotage may feel like sabotage. As though you could be jinxing yourself.?

The definition of sabotage is the act of intentionally or deliberately damaging or destroying something to prevent it from working properly; deliberately would suggest we even know these patterns exist.?

You know when you're engaged in behaviour that doesn't feel right or feels right in the moment and then turns into sour feelings immediately after.?

That’s exactly how it feels when I want to say something - the mantra who will listen to me comes up, a belief. I believe lots of things; in the words of Myron Golden, you believe things because you think it. ?

Or rather just because thoughts, random or otherwise come to me doesn’t make it my thoughts. I’m not suggesting externalising or blaming others like parents and the closest to you; that's the easy way out, externalising. These beliefs may well be inherited. What I recognise is as a child being seen and heard was something that happened as a normal thing. ?

As A Child thinketh

I was seen when I got up to go to school or did things that benefited others. Subtly what was being ingrained was?my interpretation, now a mantra “who will listen to me”. Well of course not entirely true. I’ve guided hundreds of people as a schoolteacher leading my classes and sown many seeds. I know I got things teachers said at school years later especially those who gave life advice on top of teaching their subject. ?

In my view, that belief is where the sabotage begins. I have intentionally avoided doing certain things because of it. Despite all my actions, by bypassing or ignoring what I think and feel, I overlook the power of my beliefs.?

It does matter what I believe especially if I want actions that reflect what I want to achieve long term. Belief is the foundational ingredient for potent actions that yield the results I require.?

Self Care

As a step mum my first duty is to myself and making sure I acknowledge this belief. It has affected my thinking, so I don’t try. Why try if no one else is listening. I’m then not accountable to the congruent actions that would have undoubtedly moved me forward. ?

In the words of Susan Jeffers feel the fear do it anyway, tell myself I’m the best for today and act accordingly. These simple sayings or affirmations with actions that reflect the affirmation have the potential to expose hidden patterns (Pillar 1), encourage?the negative thinking to show up the positives in our lives, consequently?from the?relationship with myself emerges a new perspective.?

Emotions are Difficult

What makes this difficult? Feelings. Emotions can make us believe something is untrue when it is a plain lie. We can tell ourselves rational lies. ?Emotions are like a wrapper sealing beliefs making us think that what we are experiencing is true, thus even a feeling can be conditioning - hence chasing a high from certain behaviours is chasing a feeling and that type of focus is an (un)merry go round.?

As a child all I wanted was to be heard, to be communicated with as a human, not othered as a nuisance. I didn’t know that until I became an adult who just felt ignored, reality I wasn’t being ignored I needed to speak up. I wasn’t being avoided I was avoidant.

A?belief is like the satellite for all the thoughts feelings and actions, and once we change our beliefs stepping into our purpose and having faith in our purpose is so much easier.?

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Reflective Questions: Repeat these questions for each belief!?

• What beliefs do you hold that make you avoid taking action??
• What thoughts come up when that belief is active??
• ?What feelings do you experience when that belief is active? ?
• What actions or inactions and delay occur??

Piecing these thoughts together goes underneath the hidden patterns opening you up for more light to come in. ?In the light we see what we have going on, what we can change you may even notice?the courage to ask and gravitate towards healthy help ?

Go on...?

Embrace you. Play more!?

#SelfSabotage #LimitingBeliefs #StepMoms #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #PositiveThinking #SelfAwareness #OvercomingDoubts #EmbraceYou #SelfImprovement #Empowerment #TransformYourMindset #BeHeard #HealingJourney #BelieveInYourself #CourageToChange #SelfDiscovery #MentalHealthAwareness #MindsetMatters #LiveYourBestLife

Hi, I’m Jo, your Creative Doula—Artist, Educator, and Coach. I provide coaching for stepmums to creatively:

• Find their purpose
• Live their life vision
• Heal their money story along the way.

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P.S

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P.P.S

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