Whose glass ceiling, anyway?

For most of my career, I assumed if I put my head down and did the work, I could bust through the proverbial glass ceiling.? I chased the idea of what success and reward meant as it was mostly defined by the large corporate companies I worked for. I was good at sales and, thus, created a career out of it. I outsold most of my peers, hit my targets, and played company politics.?

Shine, but don’t shine too much. Be likable, promotable, and known, but don’t rock the boat, ask questions that could upset the apple cart, challenge the company line, or worse, make your manager mad.?Even if you do all of those things perfectly, getting promoted is challenging if you are not part of the good old boys’ corporate hierarchy.

Nothing was more apparent to me than this when I was passed over for a management position that I thought I was a shoe in for. Because the position rolled up to the newly hired VP, his decision was to bring in someone from his inner circle, an outsider, that he had worked with previously.?

I was heartbroken. I had done “all the things” I was supposed to do, and when my opportunity came around, I had not been the best (wo)man for the role. I began to realize that I was not nearly as in-control of ascending the corporate ladder as I had previously thought. And that if I were to still pursue a management position, I would need to either wait several years until an opportunity in my geographical region opened, or move my young family to a new state to follow my career goals.

As I reflect on this now, I wonder whose dream I was pursuing anyway. Was it truly a dream of mine to manage salespeople, or was I following the dream presented to me? And does being good at something, like for me, sales, truly equate to following one’s true heart's desire?

I remember so many early mornings as a surgical device sales rep, sitting in my car in a hospital parking lot, dreading walking in those front doors. The feeling was at it's worst when I didn’t have a set case, and I was expected to roam the operating room, saying hi and introducing myself to surgeons, drumming up new business. A knot would build in my stomach and unease would course through my body. But as a good employee, I would do the job I was hired to do, and despite what my body was telling me, go in and sell.

My definition of success and a glass ceiling began to change substantially after I left corporate America to help build a healthcare technology company. Hired initially as a VP, then promoted to president, and finally becoming co-CEO in 2018, the idea of where I pointed my career goals, and what success meant, changed significantly. The target got much bigger, and slowly climbing the rungs of any corporate ladder now seemed like a faded, unfamiliar dream.

I loved my years in the technology start-up world. I loved building, creating, and selling a product I was passionate about. I loved leading and mentoring. I loved a P&L and starting with the end in mind. I eventually quieted the fears in my head that I wasn’t capable or good enough, and I no longer was afraid of dreaming too big or that the success I wanted couldn’t be mine. I felt at home, and that the lofty goals I now had in my head were truly mine, and not something prefabricated for me. But even more than that, I knew that I could attain my goals.?

Leaving Eon was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, and everyday I miss the people, the company and the work. But by making that choice, I freed up time and space to follow a new dream. I’ve spent the last eight months focused on unwinding childhood conditioning and generational patterns that, on one hand, have greatly benefitted me professionally, but on the other hand, have often left me feeling empty and alone personally.?

I invite you to follow me on my journey as I completely step outside of my comfort zone, away from everything I have ever known to be successful and good at professionally, and into a whole new world. It might be “too much” for some. That’s ok. Others might view it as “self-serving.” That’s okay too.??

Ultimately, if I’m able to inspire and empower even one person seeking more in their life, then I will have met a new goal in my own definition of success.