Who's Supporting You?

Leadership can be lonely.

You've taken responsibility for your business or team. As such, you've left behind the option of pointing fingers at anyone else when things don't go right or you miss your goal. The best leaders take total ownership for their organization's performance, regardless of who was "at fault."

That's why leadership is a noble, even heroic, journey and career path. You're someone who dares to make important decisions—ones that shape the daily lives of many other people—and play the game of life at a high level.

And you need support.

The fact is, the pressure to blame others or get down on yourself when things go wrong is so strong, that unless you support yourself in the ways you'll learn in this article, you won't have the impact or lasting happiness that you want.

From Inner to Outer

True support starts with you. It starts with your self-concept and self-talk.

Next time you miss a target or something goes sideways on your team, notice how you're feeling in your body. Are you feeling shame, anger, sadness? If so, that could be a clue that your self-talk can use some upleveling.

Many people's response to a setback is to beat themselves up. For some reason—especially with high achievers—we tend to think that if we don't punish ourselves for a mistake then we won't learn the lesson.

So we belittle our skills. We ignore the hard work we put in and the gains that we made. And we focus on what a fool we've made of ourselves.

Yeah, harsh. But I see it so often that I know it's the first and biggest roadblock to getting real support. After all, if you're thinking that you don't deserve acceptance and grace during your low points, how can you possibly receive that warmth from others? All the love and encouragement in the world will fall flat if you don't offer it first.

That's called self-leadership. And it's the most important kind. You keep your eye on your bigger purpose and vision, even when you feel like you'll never get there.

Supporting yourself means you are your own biggest cheerleader, and it's the only thing that will give you enough fuel for the whole race.

Make it Dead Simple

Once you're supporting yourself through close attention to your self-talk and personal vision, translate that intention into action through systems that support you.

Research on decision making shows that each decision takes energy, leaving us with less mental power for the next. So to have your biggest impact each day, save your energy for the decisions that matter the most.

The way you do this is through systems that remove "decision fatigue."

If you know exactly what you're planning on doing today—as well as the WHEN and the WHY of it—you will never suffer from extended procrastination or self-doubt. You will find yourself at bedtime feeling like you won the day, because you set up the criteria for victory yourself, in advance.

And beyond accomplishing your daily work, taking time to create systems for your business and life will help you stay on track towards your long-term goals. With the right quarterly and yearly rituals to measure progress against your big dreams, you will find new energy and purpose for the daily tasks.

The most amazing thing here? You can put anything you want in your "big dreams" bucket. Setting up the right routines for daily action will have you stacking up experience and confidence to manifest something in your life that once seemed impossible. (I have one hell of a story about this with a piano concerto I'm working on right now, but I'll save that for another article).

Have Someone Who Holds Space For You

If you are an entrepreneur or business owner, you may not have someone cheering you on. Who is noticing your performance and offering insights on how to grow? Who is seeing the biggest potential within you and calling you towards it?

Those things matter so much, because as humans it's hard—if not impossible—to get outside of our own self-concept. We relate to ourselves in habitual ways, and this is one of the biggest blockers to growth.

Even if you're working for a great manager, their own self-interest is still tied to your performance. So their capacity to root for you and hold space for your true desires to shine through is often limited to the of mandate their role.

Your life is too important to leave to other people's agendas. Having someone on your side with ZERO vested interest in what your life is supposed to look like is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself. Having space to reflect, to not have it all together, to question everything so you can live intentionally, means you can align your daily work in the world with your deeper vision for life.

And that, my friends, is what it's all about.

If you want to give yourself this kind of support, apply now for the Vision + Process Mastermind here. Doors are closing soon.