Who’s got your back? Six proven ways to build a network you love

“A few people will change your life forever. Find them.”?~ Nic Haralambous

The quality of your relationships determines what you are able to accomplish — individually and as a team. No matter how strong your current network is, imagine how much richer it could be if you tapped into people's passion, vulnerability, and commitment. These characteristics just happen to be the elements of love, according to psychologist Robert Sternberg.

Why not use the power of passion, vulnerability, and commitment to build a network you love? Act on the six recommended actions below to get started.?

Passion!

Action 1: Get clear on what makes you and others come alive. Have you noticed that your passions and interests expand your world and build your network? What you care deeply about not only connects you with others, but it makes you stand out. To identify or clarify these passions, fill out Alexandra Franzen's “The great I AM worksheet.” Further, the next time someone asks you for a recommendation, ask them to fill out this worksheet. Tapping into passions guarantees a more personal and compelling recommendation.

Action 2: Do scary, cool things and talk about them. One of the best ways to earn the mentoring that many people seek is by doing cool stuff that you’re passionate about. Things that demand you go outside your comfort zone will connect you with others. Volunteer to serve on a board, make and share art, learn a new skill, cook or eat a new food, go off-line for a day, do a random act of kindness, or organize a community event, for example.

Vulnerability!

Action 3: Be the first to show vulnerability. Vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. According to research professor Brené Brown, vulnerability is the first thing we look for in others and the last thing we want to show ourselves. Brené Brown’s 2010 TEDx talk on “The Power of Vulnerability” is one of the most viewed TED talks. In addition to learning about vulnerability, consider taking a risk and use LinkedIn to reach out to people you admire, such as authors of books you love. Similarly, when you receive praise that is meaningful to you, ask the person if they would be willing to share it as a LinkedIn recommendation.

Action 4: Create a dream team. A formal or informal “cheering section” or personal “board of advisors” allows you to get second and even third opinions when making life decisions. The first step is to tell people your dreams. Then ask for specific help. People love to problem solve on your behalf once they know what’s stopping you from living your dreams.

Commitment!

Action 5: Honor commitments to access valuable feedback. Commitment is a booster rocket that amplifies your passion and vulnerability. People will trust you, and are more likely to invest in you, when it’s clear that you stick with people, projects, and passions all the way to the finish line. When your trustworthiness and caring is evident, you can better give and receive the guidance that we all need in order to improve. To this point, author Kim Scott argues that “radical candor” is not only essential for a great workplace culture, but it is even a moral obligation for leaders.

Action 6: Stand for something. Instead of telling people what you did over the weekend, tell them why. For example, do you hike because you love time in nature, being with people, or the challenge? On social media, build more meaningful connections by writing comments or sharing posts instead of simply “liking” updates. When you communicate your commitments in-person and through social media, you attract like-minded people and, thereby, enhance your network. On the flip side, knowing what you are not committed to allows you to say “no” to things that drain your limited time, energy, and resources.?

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

~ Jane Howard