Who's that Funny Looking Lady?

Each day in March, I would speak with my mother at her senior living residence, sometimes via Face Time, other times on a land line, and for a short time in April, via a window from the outside looking in. Every conversation was the same. I put on my best upbeat voice and say, “Hi Mom! How are you doing today?” She answers, “Oh, the same, but how are you doing?” Then, she asks anxiously about my sisters and brother and I assure her “all is well.” It’s really not, but I can’t let her know that — not now. She has a cough this time. But it is better than yesterday, and no fever. 

The chapter and verse repeats several times during our 15-minute call. I try to divert her attention with some silly comment that my brother told me seems to make her laugh, “Who’s that funny looking lady on the other end of the phone?” I ask. She smiles and says “Oh, you always make me laugh.”

Right about then, I take a deep breath and struggle to get the next word out. “Yes, you’re right,” I manage to say. It’s amazing. At 94, she is legally blind (seeing just a fraction of my face on that tiny screen as we Face Time), hard of hearing too (never got the hang of hearing aids) and suffering from dementia. She senses I’m sad, and out of nowhere, she says, “Aww, don’t worry, honey. Everything will be ok.”

Holding back tears, I say, “Of course, it will. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

One “tomorrow” I got the call — Mom was sent to the ER and diagnosed with the dreaded virus. She was given the Plaquenil/Z-pack regimen (I believe it saved her life) and nine days later, the hospital wanted her out. Without a choice (you are told you have one, but with lots of red tape), she was sent to a rehab/nursing home (not the best move, I agree). Defying the odds, Mom was declared “COVID-free” and subsequently tested negative for the virus — twice. I brought her to my home temporarily to further recover. And, she did!

The story continues with new challenges. While Mom has moved to a place better suited for her needs, COVID-19 remains disastrous for families separated from their elderly parents who live outside the home. And, the isolation from the shutdowns at senior living residences is devastating to those suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. To all the nurses, aides and other caregivers who keep the elderly with this debilitating mental disease safe and connected, THANK YOU. You are our lifeline to our beloved funny looking lady.