Who's the Boss?

To My Dearest Boss,

Subject: Aggrieved Man

Beautiful, elegant, pretty or even baby, don’t you dare use such adjectives for me. I hate it. Of course, I know you are my BOSS, and I respect that fact, but I hate you as the person, who leads me, and this company. I have never undermined your leadership, but I despise your professional behavior. There have been so many instances when I wanted to yell at you for the things you did to me.

1. You give me a hug after every presentation, and that too in the presence of my colleagues and even the clients. What the hell are you trying to prove? That moment might be joyous for you, as you touch your wanting body against my resisting carcass {yes, I feel dead, when you touch me}, but, right after the meeting, I become the laughing stalk for the entire office. Do you know that my friends at work tease me as your boy toy?
2. Your causal slap on my a$$ for excellent conduct in the board room or during a client visit. For God sakes lady, my buttocks are not the place for you to stamp for my excellent performance. Office has become a prison cell since the moment you have laid your lusty eyes on me, and guess what my jailer speaks Prada and wears Chanel #5.
3. When you come to my desk, in your flattering chiffon saree, and those 6 inch heels, and everyone starts whispering. Now, you may be deaf to all the murmuring voices that claim, “what does he have that we don’t?” or “she is so pretty, what does she see in him?” or “even we can provide any service that he offers”. Yes, indeed you are pretty, but don’t make me your prey.
4. I know you do this on purpose, but I can’t prove it. When you call me in your office just before lunch time to discuss work at length, then profusely apologize for delaying my lunchtime, and then politely offering to accompany me to the cafeteria. It might be harmless for you, but it adversely affects me.
5. Even the office boy notices that you call me to your office at least 10-12 times a day. And, on multiple occasions, especially when you are engrossed in shopping for your lingerie. Have you ever cared to minimize that eCommerce site window? The first time you noticed my discomfort, you accused me of being orthodox, seriously??? I all up for feminism and women empowerment, but I also believe in equality. If I did the same, and you felt uncomfortable, I would have been tagged as a “PIG” or “Pervert”.
6. I used to love that song, as any child who grew up in 90’s would love. But, since our bloody office party where you danced to it…or rather I should say, danced for me, I hate the sound of that song from the bottom of my heart. Aftermath of that party, even as my shadow falls on the office floor, all women, including the maid in the office, either play that song on their smart phones, or simply hum it, Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast…
7. I am used to taking smoke breaks during work hours, because I don’t mind losing 10 minutes of my life. So, you have no right to pull the cigarette out of my hand, put it out, and ask me to quit this filthy habit. Even my girlfriend (although she hates me smoking) never did any such gesture.
8. It’s not that you are not aware of my relationship status…yes, you are. I am in a committed relationship for last 3 years. And, believe me, I am very happy with her. My girlfriend is mature enough to ignore the harmless Good Mornings, Good Nights, and a few adult jokes from any other women. But you started calling me at odd hours, asking me to assist you in shopping for personal things. She initially decided to ignore it, but, you crossed your line on Valentine’s day. My girlfriend was waiting for 2 hours at the mall, while I was at office with you because you asked me to finish the presentation, while you were staring at me from your cabin door, and making it obvious to know, where your hands were. It was only when I told you that I have plans for the evening, and my girlfriend is waiting, to my surprise, you not only rushed me out of the office, but even dropped me to the venue. Thank you giving me an unforgettable V-day. Btw, my girlfriend is still pissed about the whole episode.
9. It’s not that I have not tried to express my distress about your behavior to my male buddies. But their generic, and expected reaction was, “What’s wrong with you?” “Why are you complaining?” “Be a man and enjoy it”, “Such ‘happy accidents’ don’t happen to us men often”, “Come on man, we are usually on the giving end of such behavior”, “Dude! take one for the team”. Someone although pointed it out that he is in a “committed relationship”, and he should remain “faithful”, but since she is the one doing all these naughty stuffs, you are fine.

I know I can’t complain, because I am a man, you are a woman, and my boss.

I know I can’t complain because employee grievances would not comprehend my apprehension or irritation.

I know I can’t complain because the law in our country doesn’t agree that even a man can be sexually harassed by a woman at work.

But, I can surely vent out about the Sexual Harassment that I am facing. Today, I am the face of every other man who is facing sexual harassment at work, but, all we can do is sit back and be amused with the abuse.

Faithfully Yours,

Disappointed Employee {Sexually Harassed Male}

Summary:

SEXUAL HARASSMENT is a man’s job, yes, you don’t believe me. This is how IPC for Sexual Harassment reads…

354 A

1. A man committing any of the following acts—
2. physical contact and advances involving unwelcome and explicit sexual overtures; or
3. a demand or request for sexual favors; or
4. iii. showing pornography against the will of a woman….

 So, the law says “Man” not person, it further says against the will of a “Woman” not a person.

Section 509 in The Indian Penal Code

Word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman.—Whoever, intending to insult the modesty of any woman, utters any word, makes any sound or gesture, or exhibits any object, intending that such word or sound shall be heard, or that such gesture or object shall be seen, by such woman, or intrudes upon the privacy of such woman, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both.

It says modesty of a woman, and NOT a person.

If a man is sexually harassed, it evokes only humor in others, NOT empathy. We don’t empathize with male victims of Sexual Harassment, YET. It would take some time our IPC to get amendment, and be gender neutral. But that does not stop any individual from educating and themselves about Sexual Harassment, because there are other misconceptions about Sexual Harassment. To know more about it, contact us at [email protected].