Who's To Blame?
Who’s To Blame?
Parental alienation is perhaps, one of the cruelest forms of mental and emotional abuse that is ever inflicted upon any parent and their children. We suffer depression and heartache on a daily basis for weeks, months and even years as, we go through this torture. Sometimes, there is no end in sight and we resign ourselves to what our lives will be like in the end – alone and afraid.
There are always questions that enter our minds on a continuous basis. Did I do something wrong to deserve this pain? Did I drink too much or work too hard and ignored my family? Perhaps, I just tried to love the wrong person more than they deserved. How can we ever answer these things when we cannot even ask the questions to the one person who can explain?
Damn it, I hate unanswered questions especially, when it affects us in such a way that destroys us slowly and over time. For myself, I like to get things done in a manner that has positive resolution in the most expedient way possible. By doing so, I can at least move past the pain of a failed relationship and live my life again. However, when children are involved complications arise.
For over ten years now, I have endured the agony on behalf of an abductor and alienator as well as, the injustices of the family courts. I continue to scratch my head as, I wonder why these individuals and the very systems meant to protect us, systematically destroy whole families. Are we abnormal, sub-human beings or just throw-away people?
For myself, I would like to believe that I matter to someone in this world. Maybe it is to my parents, my siblings or better yet, my children and even my spouse. I know that no matter what, I will always love them and they will do the same even, when we disagree. In the meantime, I am waiting for positive change to occur not, just for us as alienated parents, but for our children, as well.
We cannot allow such suffering to continue at its current and accelerated rate we see today. Somehow we must open the eyes of the blind and make them see what they are doing to us. No more, should they be able to watch us as we are decimated in the cruelest of fashions. After all, we do matter. Perhaps, not to them, but to those who truly love us and recognize we are important.
Many times, we are subjected to the world of alienation from our children through no fault of our own. Occasionally, we caused this problem to enter our lives because we did something wrong to deserve it. However, in the end it is our children who ultimately pay the heaviest price of all when they no longer have the ability love and be loved by both parents.
Can we ever change who we are or what we have done in the past? Yes and no. If, we want our children back, we will fight against all those who seek to destroy our relationship with the children we love. If, we caused the alienation to happen, we must make amends for our past and seek change within ourselves in order to be the best parent ever.
Step back for a moment and think about whether you are the victim of alienation or not. Only you can decide if, you did something to deserve this through the process of self-honesty. Most can recognize that we were dealt a losing hand when an alienator enters our lives. For the rest, we need to acknowledge that we must change, for our children’s sake.
So, who’s the cause of this? Is it us or the alienating parent, the family courts or enablers who help aid in this terrible action? Only you can decide the answer to the question of who’s to blame!
By David R Shubert
Read more of my reflections in my book “Parental Alienation is ABUSE” at: Amazon or Amazon Kindle for your local country.