For Whom Will You Be That One

That one. That one person – when you look back over decades – who was a major force for good in supporting you to shape your journey. Making things possible you had not considered possible. Empowering you to take risks, make big decisions, and then once you made that decision, to make it the right decision. Not steering, but as a companion in your car who was simply put, vested in you.

A few days ago, standing outside in the dark where my oldest will spend her next year in college, I glanced at my phone and saw the email. The subject line was not very descriptive. But based on the organization that sent it and the few words in the title, I knew. That one for me had just passed away.

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This is not meant to be a sad story. UCLA Professor Bruce Linwood Barbee lived a long, full life into his 80’s. Family, musical theatre, travel – Bruce was involved in so much beyond the world of education and learning. But honestly, I can’t speak as much to those areas of Bruce’s life, outside of holiday card updates and brief conversations over the years. What I can speak to is the remarkable legacy of impact Bruce had on me and so many others who had the opportunity to be his student, his colleague and ultimately his friend.

It was pure happenstance that my buddy and I wandered up to Bruce in 1991 as we considered another course to take in our first quarter of freshman year. But that conversation led us to take Education 180, the Social Psychology of Higher Education – an upper-division elective that was team-taught by Bruce along with two other wonderful professors in Jim Trent and Chip Anderson, both of whom we also lost in recent years. It was this course that had such an impact on me and so many others, leading me to be a section leader for the course in my second and third years of college, leading me to do a specialization in education, leading me to work for Bruce as a senior giving workshops to other undergrads, eventually leading to my pursuit of a masters and a doctorate in education (where Bruce served on my dissertation committee).

There are too many stories to recount here, but I’ll just say that Bruce Barbee taught, mentored, counseled, guided, and empowered not dozens, not hundreds, but thousands of students into countless careers in education and well beyond. He cared. He was there for you. And the difference he made is being carried forward by all of us who were lucky enough to be part of his world. It's like a stand of trees that will just continue sprouting new leaves.

Bruce used to tell the story of a guy walking on the beach, slowly picking up starfish and tossing them back into the ocean. Unfortunately a storm and rare weather event had resulted in thousands of starfish stranded on the beach.

A man walking by saw the other guy and called out – “Why are you even bothering? There’s too many – you’re never gonna make a difference.”

The guy paused. Then leaned down, picked up another starfish, and with a heave tossed it back into the water.

“Well, I made a difference for that one.”

Bruce, you made a difference for many, many that ones. Thank you on behalf of just one.

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p.s. Tomorrow there is a ‘celebration of life’ service for Bruce and his lovely wife Maria who also passed away earlier this year. I recognize I used ‘that one’ both to represent the teacher and the learner, the mentor and the mentee, roles we all cycle in and out of throughout our lives.

In their honor, and with being a mentor to others in mind, thank you for asking yourself… for whom will I be that one?