Reframing the "Whole Self" Challenge

Alternative Title: If Only It Were As Easy As Leaving a Piece of Our "Self" at Home

I took on a perspective recently that shifted how I think about the current movements to “enable people to bring their whole selves to work” and a fundamentally flawed assumption at its well-intentioned core. Here was my aha:?

Everyone has ALWAYS brought their whole self to work. Always.

It’s actually impossible not to; you cannot cleave off and leave part of your “self” anywhere. Not at the door, as you walk in to the building. Not in the kitchen surrounding you, as you log in to a meeting. Not in your own area code, as you fly across the country for business.

Here is the kicker: the part of me that is currently navigating a trauma in life with a child or a parent or a partner is still a part of the me sitting right here in this meeting! So is the part that is excited about a new interest. And the part working to make sense of my place. It's here with me because it is me - whether I feel those parts are safe and welcomed, permitted, or potentially discouraged.

The "Whole Self" Fallacy is this: to think that it is possible for a person to bring only part of their "self" to work - and to cleave off and leave the other part at home or at the door.

Several years ago at a company-wide development opportunity focused on energy management, Prosci's CEO Scott McAllister stood up and said he wanted Prosci to be a place where people could "let their freak flag fly" - a colloquial way of saying we aspired to be an environment where people felt welcomed and could bring all of their "self" to the organization and to the table - even the freaky bits. He was acknowledging that we all have our own freak flags, and that you, as an employee at Prosci, had permission to bring yours and be proud of it. It had a big impact! I saw many people begin to bring more of themselves to their project, their teams, each other, Prosci and our customers. It was liberating for many, and it sparked interaction, engagement and innovation.

I've started to consider that the statement is based on a commonly held premise that we have two options available to us: (a) leave our figurative freak flag at home, or (b) let it fly when we are "here" at work. I think that's the prevailing view, and Scott was helping us move to the better end of that spectrum, in my own opinion and in our performance. But, my newly assumed perspective has me thinking that option (a) of "leave it at home" isn't actually a real option. It's an imaginary option. Since we can't really carve off the part of our self we consider our freak flag to leave at home, we end up bringing it to work anyways and feeling like we have to stuff it (and keep stuffing it) into a figurative backpack all day, fearful that it might wreak havoc it if reared it's head.

It's not whether or not I bring my whole "self" to work; it's what I do (and feel I have to do) with my whole "self," and all of it's gloriously complex parts, while I'm at work.

If we adopt this perspective, then the really interesting question becomes: What do people feel compelled to do with that “whole self” they bring to work each day? What sort of energy do I have to apply in regards to my “self” while I’m at work - and what sort of energy does my "self" draw during my time at work, given the environment and culture of my workplace? Of course it will always be fluctuating - every day has a different "best I can do" level by the nature of being a human. But, overall, is it good energy, or bad energy?

Is it…

Suppressing energy? Nervous energy? Fearful energy? Anticipatory energy? Supplanting energy? Shameful energy? This is the energy I have to expend when I don’t feel safe bringing my whole "self." And it doesn’t do me, or my organization, any good.?

Or, could it be…?

Elevating energy! Accentuating energy! Contributing energy! Advancing energy! Cooperative energy! Energizing energy! This is the energy I get to enjoyably invest and soak up when I am able to bring my whole self to work (and don’t have to do the extra work to keep part of me stuffed away and off the table).?

Do I feel that my “self” is actively invited to be part of the canvas of our organization, or do I feel that I have to work to keep my “self” off of the canvas? Do I expend energy hiding my whole "self" or amplifying whichever parts of my whole "self" I choose to bring forward? When I am me and bring my whole "self," does it feel like it is welcomed and adds to the progress and achievement of the group, or is it discouraged and detracting? Does the intersection of my “self” and my organization sap from and require negative energy expenditure, or does it add to and benefit from my energy and “self”? Do I feel like I can belong, however I choose, as me?

Imagine all of that suppressing, nervous and shameful energy people waste erecting artificial boundaries to keep parts of their “self” hidden away – all of it could become elevating, accentuating and contributing energy if we weren’t wasting it suppressing the “self” that’s already here with us anyhow! The ability to collectively redirect our energy toward something meaningful instead of hiding our true selves could be massive. And, it's really at the core of the institutional and individual value of psychological safety, belonging, diversity, equity and inclusion.

How might accepting the fact that our whole "self" is here already, always impact how we approach our work, each other and our organization? Can we create the organizations and environments where people put their energy into amplifying their self instead of hiding it? It doesn't feel like a dream to me. And the work to create environments where people can shift their energy from suppress to contribute feels worth it to me.

I'm not sure where to go from here. This is just what I've been thinking about lately.

What do you think?

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Tim Creasey | Chief Innovation Officer | Prosci

@timcreasey | https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/timcreasey

Tim Creasey is an author, researcher, and change expert who focuses on the people side of change with process, wit, and vigor. Tim’s work forms the foundation of the world’s largest body of knowledge on change management and his role as Chief Innovation Officer at Prosci gives him unparalleled insight into change management challenges, trends, and futures. Having spoken to thousands of change agents around the globe, Tim is authentic, knowledgeable, and unassumingly funny - equipping audiences with valuable data and actionable insights.