The Whole, However Ugly

Many folks here on LinkedIn and elsewhere have written about the ideas of Susan David, PhD, about how emotional agility is an important concept helpful in highlighting the value of embracing the whole of who and how we are, however ugly and however often. This is a powerful message in the era of Insta-perfection where cultivated versions of life perfected are on display by everyday people, faux vita that used to be solely the ground trodden by celebrity.

The power of Dr. David's message was, for me, hit home hard this week by a snippet of a video featuring Michelle and Barack Obama. In promoting a documentary called American Factory President Obama said that everyone has a "sacred story" within them. Sacred story. To be sacred is to be of religion or of re-ligio, re-connection to purpose and meaning and life. Are the stories we tell ourselves daily sacred, connected, and whole? If they were, I doubt that the work of Dr. David would be as refreshing and important as it is.

More often, it seems, we are told to smile for the camera, to make perfect for the Pintrested. As long as the sheen is glossy, the substance matters little. Be grateful, be optimistic, be mindful. But what if mindfulness leads us to realize how oppressive systems may be holding us down? What if constant rebuke, bullying, and dismissiveness make optimism feel shallow? What if the thing for which we realize we may be most grateful is a clear view of an ugly truth? Being alive involves pain and sadness. Growth requires discomfort if not outright breakage. These are the consequences of breath as much as are laughter and victory. If systems and cultures at all levels do not mature into the acceptance that some important things aren't shiny and bright, it is no wonder that we are all losing connectedness with the wholeness of what it means to be alive, with the wholeness of that sacred story.

It is then also no wonder why depression and anxiety run rampant through our communities.

Healthcare education is working hard to address the crisis of the lack of wellbeing in its current and future workforces while at the same time the culture of the healthcare industry, and thereby the culture of many educational training sites such as teaching hospitals, is increasingly profit-motivated. Be right, be fast, and smile! Everything is fine, keep working! Physicians and residents who have jumped to their deaths say otherwise, but who is listening?

Healthcare holds one of the most sacred stories; of illness and healing, of hands-on and hearts helped. If healthcare (think of that word for a moment: health and care) struggles to be well, what hope does it truly have to foster wellness in others? That which is true of systems is true of the people who comprise systems. Therefore, may we each and all make space for the whole ugly truth, as much for tears and screams as for smiles, as much for frustration and helplessness as victory. When we do this, and only when we do this, do we will truly begin to remember and begin to tell our own sacred story.