Who are your heroes?

This article was originally published on Substack, where you can also get Job of the Day posts (always interesting, mostly remote).

I like to ask my clients to describe their heroes. It can be a great way to get to know someone and break through their facade.

The first hurdle I have to get over with a new client is getting a real sense of who they are and how they present themselves (and doing so quickly to make good use of our time). That theoretically shouldn't be so difficult, but because so many people show up in "applicant mode" it's harder than you might think. Resumes and cover letters can only provide so much of an introduction and generally don't have the details I want. Asking for a description of themselves usually results in the same sanitized statement they would give in an interview. I need to get deeper than that.

I've mentioned plenty of times that the way I break through with clients is by asking a lot of questions. I've got a new one I've been using lately and wanted to share in case you're having trouble thinking of new, interesting, and/or "authentic" ways to present yourself. (Those quotes are because you don't owe anyone all of you so don't confuse authenticity with being unfiltered. This is still a professional context.) One of the latest questions I've been asking is variations on "who are/were your heroes?" I might ask that in a session or as homework but regardless of the answer, it can be insightful.

The response is effective on at least two levels. First, the "applicant shell" gets broken a bit and you get a peek at the real them. There are other associations that pop up while forming their answer making the act of pondering a bit disarming. People usually answer with a smile on their face and the words flow differently than if they’re saying they’re a leader with high emotional intelligence or something along those lines. It's a bonding moment. Second, you actually have the answers to work with. Well, not the answers as much as the reasons behind them. I can learn about someone’s personal values and what they appreciate based on what happens beyond the names they list. It's wildly different if someone says they admire MLK for the cut of his suits rather than the content his speeches.

For myself, I wasn’t really into sports as a kid (and even now I’m more into the commentary than the sports themselves). I was an Air Force brat and I liked planes, space, and computers, with specific curiosity about the anonymous engineers making those things possible. Chuck Yeagar was the first person to break the sound barrier, but who built those planes (more like rockets with wings at that point)? The SR-71 is one of the most beautiful and effective airplanes ever made and Lockheed Martin basically gave a team a hangar and said to have at it. Neil Armstrong was first on the moon, but who were all of those people in mission control? Later I added computer pioneers into the mix but even then I cared more about collective achievements than any one person.

So I was a geek. No surprise there. Math, code, and materials can be wonderful tools, but it takes people and teams working together to make that happen. I studied engineering because I wanted to learn about those tools, but I got into Systems Engineering because it created the connective tissue that gets things done. Ditto for the IT systems engineering that did the same in its context. Working in People/HR is in the same vein for me as well. I want to make the place and space where smart people can do smart things. It all just…fits. That’s what I’m looking to uncover in someone else.

Let's go with Superman as an example. He might answer that his heroes are his parents, Lois Lane, and Batman and here's how he might describe each:

His parents: My parents were farmers. They worked hard every day, taking care of others in the community when there was need, and they never treated me as anything other than as their son, teaching me what "good" really is.

Lois Lane: Lois can be a bit of a hothead but that's also what allows her to always get the story. It doesn't matter what gets placed in her way, she's going to keep digging for the truth, regardless of what risk might come as a result. She's also a great writer and able to pull the reader into the world she's describing.

Batman: Another one that just doesn't quit. I might not agree with his methods or demeanor, but the determination and strict morality is impressive. He will ALWAYS do what's right, even if there has to be wrong along the way. There's no one with a stronger will (except maybe Lois) and no one that prepares better.

What does Superman find important? He values hard work, compassion, earnestness, and persistence. He appreciates being mission-oriented even when that mission is difficult. If Superman was a client knowing all of that gives me a lens to apply in our discussions. When do those values show up in his work? When were they not present and what effect did that have? What kind of roles might make sense for Superman once he hangs up the cape? I think he might be great as an investigative journalist (in this silly example I don’t know that Superman is Clark Kent).

There are plenty of ways to get someone talking as their "real" self. I prefer to ask questions that can pull double duty, providing me with context while also building rapport. I find that asking about heroes is one way to give you a peek into their background that might not come up otherwise. As you then proceed in putting all the professional pieces together those heroes may be just the glue that makes it all make sense.

It can be tricky to step outside of your own brain to understand yourself and your experiences. If you need help figuring out how to describe your professional journey or in figuring out what's next feel free to reach out or set up a (free) introductory session. I'd love to help.