Who Is In Your Career Change Tribe?

Having supportive, kind people in our lives is critical. This year particularly has magnified this. In quite a contradictory way we have been further away from others than ever, but in many cases grown closer in terms of the support and empathy with have given and received.

It is also really clear we have different people to go to for different things - friends to rant to, those you always know will be available for a chat, a glass of wine (back in the good ol’ days when that was allowed!). You probably have those you think of for certain things – the person that always has a great restaurant recommendation, the person that always has great holiday advice, the friend you know will always make you laugh when things feel tough.

Renowned businessman Jim Rohn once said “you are the sum of the five people you spend most time with”. We often underestimate the importance of who we surround ourselves with. The bottom line is the people around you matter. Those we connect with most often can have a positive or negative impact on all areas of life – including how we approach our job search or career change.

In reality it may not be glaringly obvious if certain people are negatively impacting our career change. A negative impact doesn’t have to come from your friends, family or partner being a constant drain with nothing nice to say, but their experiences, opinions and mind-set may not be having a beneficial impact.

Our own beliefs, opinions, mind-set and actions are all shaped and influenced by what we expose ourselves too – including other people. Self-esteem, thinking, decisions, the action you do or do not take, will all be affected by those closest to you.

Imagine yourself in a room with five other people. If those five people were supportive, offering up career change ideas, encouragement, sharing names of people you could connect with, challenging your assumptions in a supportive way, how might you feel? What would you do when you left that room? It is highly likely you would feel a boost in confidence fuelled with inspiration to take action.

If, however, those five people in the room with you were risk averse, have had bad experiences of change, hate networking, have not broadened their own network, projected their own fears onto you or just didn’t understand why you want to make a change, you would likely leave feeling like the career change you want and need is not possible and should stay in the “just a dream” category. You may well decide to take no action and retreat back to a path that may not bring you career happiness.

People that love and support you are important in all aspects of life, but it is important to select those that have the mind-set of change being possible and positivity when it comes to shifting your career. This may mean that the people you choose to surround yourself for one thing may not be the right people to positively influence another part of your life.

So, what type of people are best to seek out to surround yourself with when considering a career change?

Those that have made career or significant life changes themselves. It goes without saying that if they achieved it they will believe that you can too. Not only will they support you but they will more than likely have loads of helpful advice and inspiration to share. I have often, with their permission, connected Career Coaching clients of mine with previous clients in order for them to build up that network and environment around them that demonstrates change is possible.

Others that are going through a similar thing at the same time as you. This works for many reasons. It stops you feeling like you are alone, or that there is something wrong with you for wanting the change you know will bring you much more happiness. Feeling like you are in this with someone else brings a sense of relief and team spirit. Of course ideally these are others going through a similar thing that have a positive mind-set – or at least feel the change they are seeking could be possible (rather than who regularly complain but tell themselves its all too hard and therefore do nothing about it! This is not an opportunity to make room for negative beliefs to grow even bigger!) Being around others that you can share your successes and challenges, swap ideas and share words of encouragement with. This also opens the door for finding an accountability partner – for example, you could both agree to connect with three new contacts for a coffee meeting for example, and report back to one another. I have witnessed, in my group coaching programme, how having others going through the same thing really helps, it’s lovely to witness the support and encouragement within those groups. (for more info on group coaching click here: https://www.rebeccaamincoaching.co.uk/groupcoaching)

People that will challenge you in a kind way. This is not about deliberately engaging with those that look to prove you wrong at every given opportunity resulting in confrontation, but finding people that are not “yes” people, who don’t simply agree with everything you say about how hard career change is. Career change is hard, but not impossible, so having someone supportively challenging you when you share that you feel you will never make the shift, can be really powerful. As a Career Coach I know these conversations can really shift mind-set and perspective and even trigger those “light bulb moments” we all need to seek out occasionally.

When connecting with such individuals as mentioned above, it is not all about always having a conversation about your career. Simply being around positive people with the mind-set of possibility has a huge impact. I often suggest to clients to make a list – who are should be in your career change tribe? Who do you know that always makes you feel good about things? Who has a real can-do approach? Who has overcome adversity? Go for a walk with them, have a virtual coffee – just being around their energy will help shift your mind-set.

If you have run out of individuals to connect with or simply can’t think of any you feel ready to engage in your career change thoughts, another option is to find communities and professionals to be in your tribe. 

Facebook groups and other online (and face to face when we are allowed again!) communities are full of people in the same position as you AND full of those who have helpful advice or support to offer. Try searching Facebook for the keyword “career” and filter on groups as a starting point. (I even have a group myself which you are very welcome to join (https://www.facebook.com/groups/CareerHappyMums). Such groups will support you, offer ideas and advice. You can ask questions in these group, read others posts and content for inspiration, personally connect with members for advice and broaden your network. You may even see jobs advertised or other opportunities that help you in your quest for a career change.

Connect with inspirational professionals. Seeking out career change professionals (did I mention I’m one of these?!) to engage with - those that really know what career change is about. Those that will inspire and can offer great advice. Become a part of their audience, follow them on social media (here’s where to connect with me Linked In  Facebook  Instagram) read their books, listen to podcasts, engage in live social media sessions, attend workshops. If you find a professional you really resonate with then sign up to their newsletter to receive a boost of positivity each time their email pops into your inbox (you can sign up to mine via my website https://www.rebeccaamincoaching.co.uk).

 Seek out success stories and connect with the people they are about or who were involved. When you find others that have made a career change – especially if it is similar to the one you want to achieve – put yourself out there and arrange a virtual coffee with them. You will be amazed how willing people are to talk about themselves and support you.  

If you can invest, do. Workshops, courses, paid for downloads, 1:1 coaching. All these things have a price tag. Costs cary depending on which you choose to invest in, but, assuming you select a good coach, or other professional, this cost is well worth it, if it propels you towards your next career move. Such investment will not only be of direct value to you in getting unstuck and finally getting on a path you are happy with, but it will also build your community and network and most likely help shift your mind-set and narrative – where gradually change feels within your reach. It can be hard to justify such investments, but staying stuck when there are ways and means out there that will help pull you forward could also be considered as hard to justify!

The moral of this story is to be conscious of who you engage with in this area of your life. Of course, I wouldn’t suggest you cut off and stop connecting with those that may not be best placed to support you, but selecting how you engage and what you share with who is key. If you know your best friend is amazing for many things but massively risk averse and terrified of change, this may be an area you don’t engage with her in, until you are further forward. It doesn’t make you mean or secretive, it simply puts you in control of your world and focus.

So seek the right people out, increase the engagement with them, participate in groups, communities, webinars, challenges, workshops, even group or 1:1 coaching for the ultimate support. Your tribe can make or break your career change so it is worth consistently increasing.

If you are unsure of that next step, but are committed to making a positive career change, and would like my professional support as part of your career change tribe, why not book a free consultation with me to talk about my coaching programmes? Here’s my diary: https://meetfox.com/en/e/rebecca-amin-1?t=0&l=Introductory%20Consultation

Rebecca Amin is a Career Coach, helping parents who feel stuck in their careers, figure out their route back to career happiness. Rebecca also runs the Facebook group Career Happy Mums