Who is with you in your Gethsemane? Identifying Solid Friendships. A must read for Christians.

The Garden of Gethsemane, on the side of the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, is where Jesus went to pray before His ordeal on the cross of Calvary. It is said that this garden of ancient olive trees still stand there to this day.

Gethsemane is deep with meaning. It is a combination of two Hebrew words GAT and SHMANIM as bible scholars have pointed out. It literally mean “the place where olive oil is pressed”. The more pressure, the more oil – no pressure, no oil. I’m sure you get the picture. Olive oil is produced under pressure as well as diamonds are produced under pressure.

Trials, tribulations, pain, hardship, pressure and suffering are part of the human condition. No one escapes this, not even Believers/Christians. However, Christians have this joy of knowing that God is with us through times of pressure and suffering, and that He allows it because the final outcome will be good. 

God has a plan and purpose for your life and mine. But before we can carry out that purpose, we often go through the bootcamp of adversity. This is the testing and building of our authenticity and character. AW Tozer wrote, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply” It is hard to find any great leader, legend, or pioneer in history or even our world today who became great without earning an Advance Degree at the University of Hard Knocks. And this was the same for Jesus even as the Son of God – the moment had come for Him to fulfilled His ultimate mission. 

....”Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. He said to them. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,”

Scripture References: (Matthew 26:36-56, Mark 14:32-52, Luke 22:40-53 and John 18:1-11).

The purpose of this blog post today is to highlight that not everyone is worthy to go with you into your garden of Gethsemane. Not everyone should see you in your most vulnerable moments. When your soul is overwhelmed and burden to the point of death, share it only with those who can understand and try to lift you up in prayer even as the 3 apostle tried with Jesus. Share your darkest lowest moments only with those who’ll offer you a shoulder to cry on and encourage you to keep going. 

Jesus did not take the 5000. He did not even take the entire 12 disciples He'd just had super with. No, He took only 3. Never before in the entire bible have we seen Jesus so emotionally distraught. Imagine if the 5000 people He feed with bread had seen him in that condition. The agony was real, the cross now looms large on the horizon. Something terrible was about to go down – the weight of His mission on earth was more tangible than ever. The Bible says that Jesus was troubled and overwhelmed with sorrow, to the point of sweating drops of blood. Three times Jesus prayed that if it were possible the cup of suffering would be taken from Him, but that the will of the Father would nevertheless be done – the mission had to be accomplished.

Chapter 12 of the book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus “endured the cross, scorning its shame” and that He did this “for the joy set before Him”. In other words, although He was under immense pressure, and in torment at the suffering He was undergoing, He pressed on, firstly, because it was the will of the Father and, secondly, because, by faith, He knew that He would have great joy on the other side of the suffering. 

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear” Jack Canfield.

Your greatest reward is waiting for you, it's comes just after you face your fears and sufferings.

Pain is part of the package but not everyone understands or accept this. Your dreams, purpose and over-all happiness and self-worth shouldn’t be entirely dependent on other people. But the truth is there comes a time you need someone. The goal is to surround yourself the "right" people. You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with. Rarely do we ever think friends can harm us, but they do.

The following are indications of the wrong people in your Gethsemane and life in general:

• When the wrong people catches a glimpse of your suffering or worst moments, they immediately try to talk you out of what you're trying to accomplish, which makes the suffering even worst because you’re now caught in the middle of your purpose and the wrong people who don’t understand it.
• When the wrong people see you when you're down and out, they try to switch off the little light left in you by condemning you or saying its your fault….The wrong people in your Gethsemane will try to stop God's purpose for your life.
• The wrong people will tell you to give up, that its not worth it.
• The wrong people feel sorry for you not empathy. 
• The wrong people will come up with all sorts of shallow reasoning why you’re going through what you’re going through.
• The wrong people will tell you, you don’t have what it takes. It usually takes just a few negative comments to kill a person’s dream.
• The wrong people will discredit your ideas, exhibiting zero emotional support, and try to persuade you to forget part of the person you are, along with the person you are capable of becoming.
• The wrong people only respect you when you live their way, eg boozing, chasing women, chasing me and getting wasted every weekend.
• The wrong people will want to own or control you, make choices for you either directly or indirectly, speak for you, and generally “shield” you from being a functional, independent adult with free will.
• You have no desire to grow or improve yourself when you’re with the wrong people and you overthink every single thing you’re going to say before you say it so that you don’t look stupid.
• Being with the wrong people causes you to grow increasingly insecure and unsure.

To truly fulfill your purpose in life, you need people who’ll be there for you, even if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through or have anything to say but at least they won’t try to talk you out of your purpose. The wrong people drains you and the right people provide soul food and the latter are those you need your Gethsemane.

Jesus knew why He took only 3 out of His 12 disciples. He knew those who got His back. He knew those He could rely on. Jesus knew those who were qualified to see Him in His most weak, human nature and low moment. In your most vulnerable moments, be careful who you let into your life. Simply because someone is a christian or go to the same church with you or you guys go out partying together doesn't qualify as a solid friend or confidant.

It is okay to be vulnerable. It's the most honest you can be. No filter. Being vulnerable involves letting yourself feel all the things and all the feelings — the, quake, the shake, the good, the bad and the not-so-chill — and then also letting “someone” else see it all but not just anyone. Look for solid friendships and connections. Share your vulnerable moments only with people who have earned the right to see those moments.

As Brene Brown said, “You need to look before you take the vulnerability leap and choose careful who you open up to”. If you share your vulnerable moments with the wrong people, they can easily become a flying debris in an already dangerous storm.

Keep watch over the borders of your soul, protect your purpose and dreams.

By Nicky Verd

Thanks for making the time to read my blog. 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.