Who Are You When Work Is Over? Reclaiming Your Identity
[For Reading Experience >> PeakPerspective.pro.]
I worked with a n inspiring client in 2024, a man who was the epitome of a high-performing professional in every sense.
He was this type; always the first in and last to leave, a role model for others and on not one but two occasions, saved the company from collapsing.
Let's call him Paul. He is professional esteem, respect and track record was exeptional and for good reason. His entire entire energy was dedicated to work but what happens when you are no longer at work, what then?
It isn't unusual to begin to feel lost in other contexts and many professionals (including myself in the past) end up in this place, feeling very confused.
The natural tendancy is to double-down, focus on what you're best at and do more hours because that equals more results and recognition.
At a cost.
Paul got the point where he became his work and his work was him.
He had merged his identity and now found it impossible to operate in other domains according to who he really was deep down.
He became emotionally exhausted, isolated, and unable to enjoy his relationships, his free time and even himself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Process >>
When we began exploring who he was before his career and who he aspired to be in the future, we began to recalibrate his present.
Easier said than done.
The process of rewiring our habits begins with rewiring our thoughts and our physiological state.
Ever committed to his health, Paul double-down on his true values; exercising, healthy living, mental fitness, relationships and combining passions for sports by cycling to see friends.
This was the foundation to overcoming the bigger challenge of beginning to create space between him and his work.
A man with a sharp focus on productivity and output, we analysed 20% most value he could create with 80% of the resources available.
We slowly began to create boundaries and build professional foundations such as an empowered team and processes to free up some time, and instead of filling the space with more meetings or tasks, begin to shorten his days, without sacrificing his goals.
His breakthrough came when he finally realised that his goals were achievable without him. That underlined the goals were the companies, not his.
It wasn't personal, it was strictly business.
The Results >>
This helped him slowly detach and begin to see himself for who and what he was again.
He went from, in his words, "I'm the Head of Sales at Y Compan..." to, "I'm Paul, sport enthusiast, husband and Head of Sales at Y..."
By gradually separating his self-worth from his job title, Paul experienced transformative benefits.
He learned to celebrate small wins, even those that didn’t directly tie to her professional achievements. This shift allowed him to experience greater emotional freedom, reduced burnout, and rekindled relationships that had been neglected. More importantly, he discovered when his identity was diversified, performance at work actually improved—he became more innovative and less reactive.
Insights >>
The lesson here is: when we define ourself solely by our job, every professional setback feels personal. When we zoom out and look at our life overall, more holistically, we create a much greater appreciation of who and what we are and what we do, ultimately (in my belief), leading to a more fulfilling life.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to be your job, consider this: you’re more than your title. Embrace who you are outside the office, and watch how it enhances both your professional success and personal happiness.
Win the week ahead,
Stefano
CEO @Prenavate | Leadership Coach for C-Suite & Business Leaders | Transformative Communication Expert | Driving Growth & Innovation
3 周Thanks for sharing this - Incredibly insightful!???? Stefano Palumbo
Mindset, Performance & Accelerated Learning.
3 周Insights to win the week ahead every Saturday >> https://www.peakperspective.pro/peakperspectiveblog