Who Are You Surrounding Yourself With?

Matshona Dhliwayo once said: “Spend time with people who enrich your mind, nourish your heart, and illuminate your soul”. In life, the people and influences we choose to surround ourselves with play a pivotal role in shaping our thoughts, actions, personalities and ultimately, our destinies. Our environment significantly impacts our growth, happiness, sorrows, resilience or otherwise. It is not just about who or what we allow into our personal or professional circles, but how those elements contribute to our journey towards becoming the best or worst version of ourselves.

We all know those some people who, just by being in their presence, make our day completely brighter. They may not be trying to charm or impress us; they’re in fact just naturally pleasant to be around. I call them “pure souls” with no negative vibes. Instead, they radiate positive waves and vibes. Ever wondered what makes them so loving? Well, it’s not magic, charisma or luck. It’s certain behavioral patterns that they exhibit consistently everywhere they go.

In this article, we’ll explore the five most common behaviors of genuinely loving people?—?who make us feel good and make an impression wherever they go.

1. Great Listeners

We’ve all met those people who never let us get a word in edgeways. These are the ones who dominate every conversation. On the contrary, genuinely lovely people often have a different approach. They listen more than they talk. Let’s be mindful that listening isn’t passive?—?it’s an active process of understanding and empathizing. These people possess this trait. They allow others to express themselves, making them feel valued and heard.

They don’t just wait for their turn to speak but show genuine interest in what the other person is saying. This behavior isn’t about being manipulative or gaining an advantage; it’s about connecting with others on a deeper level. When we’re in a conversation, let’s try to listen more and talk less. We might be surprised at how much more connected we feel to the people around us.

2. Unlimited Positivity

Have you ever been around someone who just radiates positivity? Their energy is infectious and it just makes our day better whenever we meet them. I remember a friend of mine. No matter what was going on in his personal and professional life, he always used to smile and laugh out loud. Even on his worst days, he’d find something nice to say or do. One day, I impatiently asked him how he managed to stay so positive all the time. He simply said, “Life is too short to spread negativity. I choose to focus on the good things and share that with others.”

His positivity wasn’t just about being upbeat. It was about acknowledging the good in every situation and in every person. That’s a key trait of genuine people?—?they see the silver lining and they ensure everyone else does the same. This isn’t about being fake or pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about choosing to focus on the positive side of things and sharing that perspective with others. It’s a habit that can brighten up not just our day, but also those around us.

3. Genuinely interested

Ever met someone who shows genuine interest in your life? It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? People who are genuinely great to be around often exhibit this trait. They’re not just making small talk or passing time. They sincerely want to know more about the people they interact with. They ask questions that show they’re interested in us. They remember small details from previous conversations and mention those.

They also make an effort to understand us better. This genuine interest makes us feel important and valued. It creates a connection that’s based on mutual respect and sincerity. It’s not about prying or being nosy, but about showing genuine curiosity and a desire to understand others better. It is also an effort to be helpful if the other person can accept the offer.

4. Always?Grateful

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and expressing it regularly is a common trait among genuine people. They recognise the good in their lives and make it a point to appreciate it. They are thankful for the big things, of course, but also for the smaller ones?—?a warm cup of coffee on a cold day, a smile from a stranger, or the laughter of a loved one. Expressing gratitude isn’t just about saying “thank you”. Its more than that.

Instead, it’s about acknowledging the value of the people and experiences in their lives. It’s about expressing appreciation and letting others know they are cherished. Their heartfelt expressions of gratitude elevate their interactions and make their presence comforting and uplifting. In a world that often focuses on what’s wrong or what’s missing, their focus on gratitude is like a breath of fresh air.

5. Always There for?Us

In this fast-paced world, caring for others and exhibiting genuine interest in others is a rare gift. People who are loving and caring to be around have mastered this art. They aren’t constantly checking their phones or thinking about their next task. When they’re with us, they’re simply there for us. They give their undivided attention to the person they’re with and the moment they’re in.

Being present shows respect and consideration for others. They send a clear message that they value our time and our company. More than that, being present allows us to fully experience life as it happens. It enables us to build deeper connections and create meaningful memories.

Summary

Precisely, the people we surround ourselves with significantly shape our thoughts, behaviors, and life trajectories. Ideally, we should cultivate relationships with individuals who inspire and uplift us, encouraging personal growth and positivity. Surrounding ourselves with those who possess qualities such as empathy, integrity, and a growth mindset fosters an environment where we can thrive emotionally and intellectually. These people challenge us to become better versions of ourselves, offering constructive feedback while celebrating our achievements.

Conversely, it is equally important to minimise interactions with toxic or overly negative individuals who drain our energy or hinder our progress. Such relationships can create emotional turbulence and divert us from our aspirations. By choosing to spend time with optimistic and compassionate people, we cultivate a network that reflects the kind of person we aim to be. Ultimately, the company we keep should align with our vision for a fulfilling life, helping us build meaningful connections that enrich our journey and bring out the best in us.

About the?Author

Muhammad Sajwani is a C-Level HR, Transformation Leader, Board Advisor, Business Coach & Organisational Consultant and Managing Director, Evolve HR. He is an author, columnist and a contributor who besides writing for LinkedIn and Medium, also regularly writes for BizCatalyst 360 and has published around 500 articles. He brings along 30+ years of local & international experience. He is a change catalyst specialising in unleashing the human Dreamgenius through Leadership, Creativity and Change Management. Muhammad has been instrumental in helping organizations come to terms with organizational changes like right-sizing and business process re-engineering. His innovative approach & high personal competence encourages people to not only accept change, but also to excel in it. Muhammad has diverse experience in conducting strategic & management development programs, conferences & events for organisations across sectors. In recognition of his long outstanding services, Global HR Professionals?—?GHRP & Artificial Intelligence Community of Pakistan awarded him the “Lifetime Achievement Award” in the year 2024.