Who You Surround Yourself With Matters

Dear life amplifiers:

In life and business, the people we choose to keep close have a profound impact on our journey. You may have heard the famous quote by Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This isn’t just a saying; social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard found that the people we regularly associate with shape up to 95% of our success or failure. Those closest to us directly influence our mindset, resilience, and drive, either lifting us up or holding us back.

Understanding the Two Types of People

To make this choice wisely, it’s helpful to know that people generally fall into two categories: those who "shine" and those who "drain."

People Who Shine bring positivity, self-awareness, and curiosity. They support others with authenticity, rarely making things about themselves. They possess a growth mindset, view challenges as opportunities, and have a powerful resilience. You feel their absence because they energize every room they’re in, offering inspiration and encouragement that propels you forward.

People Who Drain, on the other hand, are often less self-aware, dominating conversations and feeding off drama. With a fixed mindset, they view life through a lens of scarcity and victimhood, sucking energy from others without realizing—or admitting—their effect. They may even resist change, perpetuating cycles of negativity and defensiveness.

Why Choosing the Right People Is Crucial

Surrounding yourself with people who shine is essential. The company you keep affects your ability to pursue goals, maintain a positive mindset, and ultimately reach the heights you aspire to. When you surround yourself with people who are growth-oriented, supportive, and genuine, they encourage you to adopt those same traits. Conversely, a circle full of drama, competition, or negativity pulls you down to that level.

When selecting these five key people in your life, remember that it’s not about finding people who merely agree with you. True growth happens when you surround yourself with individuals who constructively challenge you to be better and strive for more. These are people who push you beyond your comfort zone, who broaden your perspective, and who invite you to imagine what could be—not just what is.

The Qualities to Look For

The most successful people attribute much of their achievements to the people around them. Look for those who:

Encourage Growth – People who are forward-thinking will nudge you to try harder, dream bigger, and stretch your limits.

Challenge Your Thinking – A good circle includes individuals who question your ideas in a constructive way, pushing you to refine your vision and approaches.

Empower Your Aspirations – Seek those who believe in your potential, who root for you when times are tough, and who inspire you to reach for your highest goals.

Making Hard Calls with Purpose

Crafting a supportive circle often means making difficult decisions about who remains close and who may need to be held at a distance. Begin by reflecting on the qualities and values that matter most to you, and be honest about which relationships truly support those. When you identify connections that feel draining or misaligned with your goals, you may need to make the hard call to step back or redefine the relationship. This doesn’t always mean severing ties—sometimes creating distance or setting boundaries can be enough to protect your energy. Additionally, take proactive steps to expand your circle by engaging in communities or networks aligned with your ambitions, allowing you to bring in new connections that challenge, support, and inspire your growth.

By thoughtfully managing who you spend the most time with, you build a circle that continuously fuels your journey forward.

What do you think?

Wishing you a great week with the right kind of people!

Andreas von der Heydt

https://andreasvonderheydt.com

#growth #growthmindset #leader #leadership #inspiration #challenge #ambition