Who are you showing up for?

I made a commitment a few articles ago to read and write about things that were a little outside of my usual topics of leadership, culture, and business planning.

I am currently listening to Storyteller by Dave Grohl, good start? This article is hopefully keeping up the other end of the bargain.

And, in this article, I am perhaps going to overshare a little in the name of helping others too. Here goes…

I don’t have a lot of friends. I could count on both hands how many close friends I have. When I say close, I mean people who aren’t family, people who are in my corner and I in theirs, people whom I show up for, and people who show up for me.

I have about six or seven numbers saved in my favourites for quick access on my phone. This isn’t an exclusive list; it is just one that I have at the ready to SMS or call regularly.

I only see a few of these close friends in person regularly, even before COVID-19, I only saw most of them a few times a year (if that).

I do have many people whom I care deeply for though, that list is different. I am fortunate enough to work with clients whom I care personally for, people that I am emotionally invested in. These people are those whom I carve out a piece of my mind and my heart for and I am there for them when they need me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am capable of building friendships. I am not capable of showing up for everyone in the same way though and I don’t expect everyone to show up for me.

When I was in school it was the same, I was friendly with everyone, yet I flew under the radar and managed to develop very few deep friendships along the way. I drifted between ethnic groups, hobby-aligned groups, culturally aligned groups, and everything in between. I was a bit of a rolling stone, but when I reflect there were only two or three people whom I’d consider real friends from that time in my life.

Where am I headed? And why now?

Recently, I listened to a recording of Lebron James, he talked about how his “entourage” is all close friends of his from when he was young. When he entered the NBA he was laughed at by the professionals for having an inexperienced management team, amateurs managing the biggest name in the sport. They can keep laughing, because what Lebron had was people in his corner who cared for him, unlike most of his peers. They supported him as an athlete and a person. They genuinely act in his best interests at all times.

As we head into the new year I encourage you to think less about resolutions and the “new you”, I encourage you to think more about who you have in your corner and whose corner you are in. The beauty is in the reciprocity, the abundant giving and caring, and perhaps most importantly the safety that it brings. Safety to be yourself, honestly, free of judgement, and rooted in trust.

My “entourage” exists in private Facebook messenger groups, business partnerships, lifelong friends that never left, energetically connected people who live in my thoughts, and so on. They are all values-aligned yet different people, ethnically diverse, of all ages, shapes, and sizes; yet they show up for me and I show up for them.

Who is in your corner? Whose corner are you in?

Perhaps you could be so bold as to call them out here?

Have fun.

Happy new year.