WHO OR WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED TO CONTINUALLY CARE FOR?
Lana Kristine Jelenjev
Community Alchemist, Speaker, Healing-centered engagement and HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) facilitator, Safer and Brave Space Designer, Author “What’s STRONG With You?”
*This article is originally published in my Substack channel "Living My Legacy". Check out my other articles there.
The past two days we have been preoccupied as a couple. We got into a safeguarding situation where we had to help a friend move out of her boyfriend’s house due to domestic violence. There are still ongoing tensions because of our decision to help her, especially for my husband since the partner has been his friend for about 25 years.
Yet, we both agreed that we cannot sit idly by when there was someone who asked for our help and that it was her safety that is involved.
That was why this question when I heard it in one of the Facebook videos really spoke to me. The initial question was “what are you prepared to continually fight for?”
I changed it to “who or what are you prepared to continually care for?”
I so believe in care as a deep commitment for healing-centered ecosystems. When we care we promote awareness and advocacy. Who and what we care for we value, we respect, we give attention to, we champion for, and we take action on.
So what am I prepared to continually care for?
Reflecting on this situation and those of the previous times that we sheltered different women in our home who needed a place to land back on their feet, I care deeply for women’s wellbeing. If we have an abundance of financial resources, I know I would be putting up shelters and transition homes for girls and women, especially for single mothers. The causes that I provide support and not-for-profit consultancy services for are mostly impact driven organizations who are supporting the welfare of girls and women.
I also highly value taking care of those who are disenfranchised. Perhaps this has been something that I carry ancestrally from my mother’s side of the family where the Pamintuan (it means “someone to obey) clan is known to have heroes and saints in our genealogy.
I know for myself that if there are opportunities to help those in need that I will in as much as possible offer help. I do not want to close my eyes when there is suffering happening right in front of me. I told my husband, I am doing what I wished someone did for us when my mom was ill and financially struggling.
One of the core teachings I share with my kids- “Let no one suffer alone.” When you know someone is hurting, check in with your capacity, how can you be there for the other person? And if not you, how can you find and encourage someone else to hold space for that person?
Another reminder I often say that goes with letting no one suffer alone: “Let your presence be the healing gift that another person needs. For hurt people can hurt people, yet settled bodies, settle bodies.”
How might we be settled bodies that settle other bodies? This is where self-regulation and co-regulation are important practices to learn and embody.
WHY CARE IS IMPORTANT
?? What comes to mind when you read the word ‘CARE?” What images, words, emotions, sensations, stories, memories, or metaphors come up for you when you think of the word “CARE”?
Take the time to explore these questions with yourself, your partner, your family, and your team/collaborators.
In a session I facilitated for The Hum on “Exploring Care in Collaborations”, I shared a Gallup article about the need for care. In the 2022 article by Jim Harter on “Percent Who Feel Employer Cares About Their Wellbeing Plummets”, it was mentioned:
Prior to COVID-19, in 2014, about the same percentage (25%) of employees strongly agreed that their employer cares about their overall well-being. Then at the onset of the pandemic in 2020, employers responded quickly with a plan, communication, and what many employees believed was genuine concern for them, their work, and their lives. The percentage who felt cared about nearly doubled, reaching a high of 49% in May of that year. Since 2020, the perception has plummeted to the previous low levels
Let this sink in out of 15,001 full and part-time U.S. employees surveyed in February 2022, fewer than one in four U.S. employees feel strongly that their organization cares about their wellbeing.?
Care is important not just in the area of work.?
It is crucial in our everyday lives.?
Care is our capacity to express the values of compassion, dignity, and respect to ourselves, and to others (both human and more-than-human). It is the foundation of love, attachment, and belonging. Care is a deep concern and tending of the self, us, the others, and the bigger field. It can strengthen relationships, promote systemic sustainability, and lobby for just practices and policies.?
For the next 10 minutes, I invite you to reflect and journal on these questions:
领英推荐
If you are doing this deeper exploration of care with others, you can also dive into these questions together:
These are just some of the exercises that you can find in this resource that I created on “DEEPENING OUR SHARED UNDERSTANDING OF CARE”. You can download it for free on my website.
HOW FAR AND HOW DEEP DO WE CARE?
One of the exercises in this deck explores the shadow side in our care efforts. Here are some prompts to explore what we need to acknowledge and address in our care practices as well as the importance of setting boundaries.
?? What is it that we care about and who we care for that we are neglecting?
Think about the current practices and activities around care.
Take the time to explore these questions with yourself, your partner, your family, your team/collaborators.
If you want to know more about CARE, here are other articles I wrote about this topic: (as you probably notice, I care about CARE ??)
So, how about you? Who or what are you continually prepared to care for?
Do reach out, connect, or drop me a message with your thoughts, feelings, and points of resonance with this post.
Hiraya manawari,
Lana
Interested in running a session around care for your leadership team, upcoming retreat, or professional development sessions?
Do reach out to know more how I can support you in facilitating these sessions with your team or in designing healing-centered practices around care for your organization.
Co-Founder at Legacy17 cooperative association
7 个月Wise words, as usual, Lana. I believe that our ability and capacity to care about each other is central to our prospects for creating a positive, regenerative future for humanity. And, I’ve met people who distance themselves from the whole concept because they’re afraid that ‘caring’ means taking responsibility for the other person’s happiness and wellbeing. Somehow we need to bridge this gap - no?