The who and the what. What?

I’ve talked about this before- where people confuse the what with the who

Who is often irrelevant when we talk about the human rights infringements of Autistics. When we say ‘Autistics kids have ptsd from school’ the most unhelpful response we can get is ‘teachers are trying their best’I mean seriously, what are we supposed to do with that?Why is this an unhelpful response?

Firstly, if immediately takes the focus off of the very people we’re talking about- Autistic kids . With a few little words we are reminded of our place as Autistics- at the bottom of the pileI mean, who cares if Autistics are traumatised in our schools when we could be congratulating the teachers for trying their best. And as long as everyone’s trying their best what matters it if our kid’s mental and emotional states are in tatters?

What matters it that Autistic lives are often ruined when there are people trying their best?

Yes, teachers often operate within a rubbish environment and crappy system but no one was actually talking about teachers we were speaking about AUTISTICSRemember us? The marginalised community who have been fighting against human rights abuses for over 30 years now- yeah us.. you know the ones with ptsd from school

Oh the teachers, indeed they’re working hard.

It's literally that easy to make the conversation that is about us not about us- in an instant

Secondly, there’s an unsaid judgement here that by highlighting Autistic suffering we are just criticising others. Yep we’re the big meanies being mean coz we’ve nothing else to do apparently- just giving out, moaning, being ungrateful , big mean meanies being mean.

Do you see how even when we raise rights issues how quickly even our efforts to help ourselves are minimised into whining and being unfair to a nameless group of professionals?But can you name any human rights movement who politely spoke of their trauma, pain, exclusion and exploitation without somehow mentioning their oppressors? But we need to be able to speak about what effects us, our young people and our community without that judgment that creeps in ever so fast when people leap to defend the teachers and by doing so negate the trauma of our kids.

It’s even happened when I’ve spoken out about ‘sensory rooms’ - people have actually leapt to defend a room instead of the Autistic- interesting ??

Thirdly, no teacher sets out to harm a child really do they? So the issue isn’t within teachers it lies instead in their training, in the system and in the foundations of our society that scaffold all these discriminatory ideas . By saying ‘teachers try their best’ it’s actually taking the focus away from the oppressors. It’s just really making a complex discussion into a playground taunting match.

Fourthly, it’s a waste of precious time when we could instead be focusing on solutions. It’s petty, and it says more about the person who thinks it’s a reasonable comment than they might like us to know

Lastly it frames us as unempathetic to teachers and their plight , it implies we’re breaking some sort of social rules for speaking out about the mistreatment of our children - it is literally doubling down on our discrimination, framing US as the problem yet again - yep coz traumatizing kids is an example of excellent social skills

It’s reflective of what I call ‘Neuro-conformative Communication’ meaning that the person who immediately pits teachers against Autistics has fallen prey to the divide and conquer culture without perhaps even being aware of it - we need to look at the systems not the people in them

From my experience it’s people who have zero insight into the Autistic Rights Movement and very little insight into human rights in general who spout out these unhelpful comments with bravado thinking they’re standing up for the downtrodden who aren’t there to defend themselves as they trample on the rights and wellbeing of my community

Don’t be that person- have an open mind, be open to hearing us on this and all issues. Sit with the discomfort it brings (because it will). Welcome that discomfort as a signal of personal growth.

Embrace this opportunity to make the world a better place. Resist the impulse to project that discomfort back onto the Autistic- the one who is trying to guide you and others to end our abuse.