Who are we outside of work?

If I ask you right now – "who are you?", what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

If I'm guessing right, it was probably a doctor or teacher or researcher or pilot or psychologist or another profession (besides your name)

More often than not, the intuitive answer to that question is our professional designation and title. But why? Where does this constantly rising overlap between "who I am" and "what I do" come from? Why is the maximum chunk of our identity emerging from our profession?

Having tied up the core aspects of our identity to our work, we become more vulnerable to physical and mental health concerns in the face of "change", such as layoffs, the threat of losing jobs, burnout, retiring, etc.

A fascinating thing I read today was –?

Think of yourself as a healthy financial portfolio – Just like you are advised to diversify your portfolio to manage risks, it is important to diversify your life.

It made me reflect on how work is only one part of our lives – and I realized how imperative it is to individuate ourselves from work and give ourselves constant reminders that we are more than our jobs. In fact, I recently asked a friend about his partner and the first ever piece of information he shared with me was her Linkedin profile. Our professional identity is so deeply internalized that we tend to lose focus on the other things that are part of the spectrum that defines us.

One of the reasons why this perspective is so common is because, as human beings, we have a natural tendency to characterize people, places, events, and objects for the sheer reason that our brain operates on associations and mental shortcuts. What this implies, on the surface, is that we resort to simple descriptors of ourselves and the world around us. This is why when we learn about someone’s career, we immediately create a picture of their skills, values, interests and traits in our minds – and put them in the different “boxes” we have stored in our minds.

Psychologists use the term “Enmeshment” to describe a situation in which the boundaries between two people get blurred, leading to a loss of individual identities. It prevents the development of a stable, independent sense of self. But does it apply to the enmeshing boundaries between a person and their career? It sure does!

So that leads us to a critical question:?

Outside of our workplaces, what makes you, YOU?

But how do we find out?

Here are some answers we can look for to get closer to realizing our true selves and potential.

1)?What are the things beyond work that truly give me joy and satisfaction?

2)?What are some of the most challenging moments of my life, and how did I overcome them? How did it add to the person that I am today?

3)?What are a few things that I am/have done that I am truly proud of, outside of work? What is it that I appreciate about myself?

4)?What are some compliments I've received from my loved ones? What is it that my loved ones appreciate about me? What do they reflect about my strengths?

5)?What am I spending my non-working time on? What would I do and why if I could spend one day of every week outside of work? What about them gives me delight and contentment?

6)?What are things outside of work that I genuinely value – relationships? Travelling? Reading? Volunteering? – and how do they differentiate me from my "work self"? How important are these non-work activities essential for my physical and psychological well-being?

7)?How much do I think and worry about my job outside of my working hours? What kind of effect does it have on my life and mental wellness?

8)?How would I feel, and what would I do if I lose my current job? ?

9)?How do I describe myself to a new person? How much of this description is coming from my roles and achievements in my career?

Living a life confined within the boxes of our jobs and not being able to understand ourselves truly, can have detrimental effects on our health. It's imperative to actualize our 'self' beyond the tangible roles and responsibilities of our jobs – and develop a lifestyle that lets us connect with ourselves and the people around us and show up our best versions.?