Who is thinking about parents' well-being?

In my recent readings, I've observed a notable uptick in blogs, posts, articles, and discussions concerning the welfare of parents and caregivers. Overall, there is an increased awareness and acknowledgement of the stress and challenges associated with parenting.

One reason for this is that research on parental well-being has also grown highlighting the importance of supporting parents' mental, emotional, and physical health. Recent studies have shown that parenting stress can have significant negative impact not only on parents' mental and physical health but also on their children's well-being and development. For example, a recent well-known report from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University , shows the connection between parental stress and brain development. Trauma, toxic stress, and adverse childhood experiences permanently change a child’s body and brain, which can have serious, lifelong consequences. On the other hand, study from UCLA found that unconditional love and affection from a parent can make children emotionally happier and less anxious. This happens because their brain changes because of the affection.

There has also been a growing awareness and destigmatization of mental health issues , including postpartum depression and parental stress. This increased awareness has led to more open discussions about the mental health challenges that parents may face and the importance of seeking support. Many parents struggle to balance their work responsibilities with their family obligations. Discussions around work-life balance and the challenges of juggling career and parenthood have led to increased attention on supporting parents in managing these competing demands.

Celebrities and influencers often share their experiences of parenthood, including both the joys and struggles. Their influence has drawn significant attention to issues related to parental well-being and has contributed to public discussions on the topic. For example, Princess Diana, Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore, Adele, Sameera Reddy are some of many stars who have publicly shared their experiences with postpartum. Social media platforms have made it easier for individuals to share their experiences and seek advice on various aspects of parenthood. In a recent revelation, Marie Kondo , known for her decluttering techniques, shared throwing in the (unfolded) towel to spend more time with her three children in their now "messy" home. This has prompted some fans of her book to criticize her, perceiving it as abandonment of her principles. Such sharing of personal stories and struggles has brought attention to the challenges faced by parents and the importance of supporting their well-being.

I like the way Michael Feigelson , Executive Director of the Van Leer Foundation puts it, ‘when a baby is born, a parent is also born!’. In his article he talks about the significant impact that early parenthood has on individuals' lives and emphasizes the journey of self-discovery, growth, and love that accompanies the birth of a child. In the months following the birth of their first child, families navigate a uniquely delicate and transformative period. As outlined by Barr and his fellow researchers in their study , this time is marked by increased stress levels, rising expenses, and physical challenges, particularly for new mothers who may find it difficult or impractical to continue working. Given this level of intensity, the first year of parenthood is often a time when many things can go awry.

From a parent’s perspective and from my own parenting journey so far, there are many reasons why becoming a parent can be a transformative experience:

Significant Transition: The birth of a child represents a monumental shift in a person's life as they embrace the role of a parent. Becoming a parent often leads to a shift in one's identity. Individuals may see themselves differently and prioritize their child's needs above their own. This can lead to changes in priorities, values, and goals. For example, as a parent I have often decided to forego social outings or personal hobbies in favor of spending more time with my child, so that her emotional and physical well-being is met before attending to my own desires.

New responsibilities: With the arrival of a child, individuals become responsible for the care, upbringing, and well-being of another human being. This newfound responsibility can be overwhelming but also deeply rewarding. As a parent, I have often experienced sleepless nights and often worry about making the right decisions for my child’s health and well-being.

Learning and Growth: Parenthood is a journey of learning and growth as it requires developing new skills, such as patience, empathy, and resilience, and adapting to the changing needs of the child at each stage of development. I would often face sleepless nights and feeding struggles with my daughter when she was a baby. This taught me a lot of patience. Now as a parent of a 7-year-old, I am adapting to new challenges such as socialization, and education.

Acknowledging the crucial importance of a baby's initial year and parental support during this time, few nations prioritize this through initiatives like paid family leave and subsidized childcare . For instance, Finland has long supported expectant families by providing maternity packages containing essential items such as toys, clothing, and an innovative cardboard box that can be repurposed as a crib. The 2023 edition of Early Childhood Matters by Van Leer Foundation highlights innovative policies, programs around the world that are having a positive impact on the lives of parents and caregivers. However, such initiatives are often scarce and there is a big gap that needs to be filled. As a nation, by prioritizing parental well-being, implementing appropriate policies, and enacting effective programs to support parents, we can ensure that all families thrive.

As a community, sharing authentic parenting experiences on social media, offering support to fellow parents, practicing empathy, and being non-judgmental can go a long way. By taking these steps, we not only provide support to parents but also promote the well-being of children. One such initiative is the launch of a new social movement: Family First , in UAE by GEMS Education with the support of His Highness Sheikh Nahyan bin Mubarak Al Nahyan, UAE Minister of Tolerance and Coexistence. All of GEMS Education schools across the UAE now offer new and meaningful family-focused classroom projects and social enterprises to re-inspire in young people an appreciation for the crucial significance of family bonds, that is increasingly being lost as a result of social changes and economic pressures. I resonate with this initiative because as an expat parent what works for me is the strength I get from my family connections - advice from my parents, extended family, and close friends – without which it will be difficult for me to steer this parenting journey alone.

As a food for thought, I want to share an excerpt from the book “The Parenting Map” by Shefali Tsabary that I am currently reading:

“Our children need us to be at our best during their formative years, but we are likely still forming ourselves and aren’t yet the best versions of ourselves – maybe not even our half-best versions. This discrepancy is inevitable and unavoidable.”

It is time for us to recognize the immense responsibilities of parents and caregivers which is often undervalued.