Who Will Tell You The Truth?

“Make sure you find a few true friends. We all need someone to cheer us on when we’ve hit bottom and keep us humble when we get too full of ourselves.”

We all need an inner circle. The inner-circle are the ones who are there for you at the drop of a hat and show up even when you didn’t know you needed them. They are the ones who always believe in you while loving you enough to tell you the sometimes-ugly truth right to your face.

It’s possible your inner-circle is or includes your family, but it doesn’t have to. (Family dynamics are often tricky things!) Sometimes we maintain the same inner-circle for our entire adult lives, but more often than not our circles change. They grow or shrink and morph as we ourselves grow and morph. The best inner-circle relationships are the ones you choose and the ones who also choose you. The Colonel’s inner-circle included my Uncle Harry. He was not really my uncle, we just called him that. Harry was always a calm voice of logic and reason for Dad. His circle also included my step-godfather, Lou (my godmother's second husband who we called “Maj”), and Dad’s oldest sister, Gloria, who raised him. Regardless of where we were stationed, these were the people Dad would reach out to when he needed to be told a genuine truth.

My current inner-circle includes my husband, who keeps me secure and provides a rudder in my life, and my best friend Diane, who has the biggest heart and most giving spirit I have ever encountered in a human being. My sister, of course, is in the circle. She understands where I come from and makes me laugh loud and cry ugly. Also included is my soul-sister Gracey, who understands the demon that is addiction. She is always there when that demon tries to wiggle its way back into my pores and my life. They chose me—or more importantly, I believe God chose them for me. And because each of them knows me at my best and my worst, I know each relationship is real. Equally as important, I am there for them when they ask, when they need, and when they don’t even know they need me.

Exceptional examples of inner-circles in literature can be found in the dynamic between Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, and Irene Adler, and also in the friendship between Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the Harry Potter series. One of the best examples in the celebrity world might be the trust-nugget that is Oprah, her significant other Steadman, and her best friend, Gayle. The primary of each of these example-relationships is better, more influential, and more significant because of the strength, support, and authenticity they draw from those around them.

Throughout your life, you will be surrounded by many people who call you friend, especially if you gain some measure of success, wealth, or fame. Your inner circle should be the ones you choose, those few who you allow to see you during the good, the bad, and the ugliest of times. They are the ones who keep you real, honest, and authentic. Without this type of external conscience, it is a near-impossible task to be significant.

You can’t be significant alone or in a vacuum of authenticity. Find your inner-circle. Choose people who are loyal enough to always be in your corner and honest enough to be truthful with things you don’t want to hear.

Published originally in Colonels of Wisdom Vol 2 – A Daughters Reflection on Significance (Available Here)