Who Moved The Nuts (take off on who moved the cheese)

At about 3:30 in the afternoon the other day, I was in the office and starving. I went into the break room and looked in the snack basket. Nothing good for me in that basket, that’s for sure. I remembered that my business partner, Grant Wilson kept a stash of an awesome assortment of nuts in his office. Excitedly, I bounded (you are just gonna have to take my word for it on that one) down the hall and went to open his door. Something went wrong because I about put my head through the door when I found it locked. My momentum smashed right into the door! I could not believe it! He locked the door in the office! Who does that? Well yes I have been raiding his nut stash but that is not a good reason to injure me on the break-in!

That reminds me of a time when I was in Central Europe for PTC back in 1999. I was pretty new as the SVP so the troops didn’t really know me that well. I was working with Corporate to get some last minute deals finalized and approved. After the last deal got approved, I got up to use the restroom. When I came out of my office, the entire Frankfurt office was pitch black. I mean I could not see my hand in front of my face. I took a few steps and smashed my knee on a desk. In that moment, I was so angry and so alone. “Why do I care more about these deals than the reps and managers?!!!” It is a feeling that I have etched in my memory forever, not because my team was not good or committed it was just a very lonely moment in leadership. I walked outside the main office into the hallway when I realized that I did not have my keys. You can imagine the horror as I watched that door shut and lock behind me. Great, now I am locked out!

I am not proud of what happened next but after leaning heavily on the door a few times, I realized that there was only one way back in. My phone, my wallet, my keys were all on the other side of that door. My emotion got the better of me and I stepped back and gave the door a crushing blow with my foot. I heard some things break in the door so I decided to go for it all. The next blow jarred the metal door completely off of the frame. With a bit of righteous indignation, I stepped over the mess and went and got my things.

As I pulled out of the office garage at around 11pm, I could hear a voice in the distance. I slowed the car down and listened more intently. “Oh my God someone is calling my name.” I just heard “John, John, John” over and over again. At that point I was convinced that God was speaking to me, so I said, “Yes Lord, I hear you, Lord”. Weirdly God’s voice began to sound like my wife Anne which really freaked me out! I was worried that something might be wrong at home so I went to reach for my phone but it was not there! Then I started to ask myself, “Why does God sound like Anne and why is the voice coming from my backside?”(politically correct) Anne’s voice got louder and louder and my anxiety heightened, “Where is my phone?”. The rest of the story makes me look like an idiot, but it still makes me belly laugh. I had thrown my phone on the seat while I took off my suit coat (if you know, you know). When I sat down, I literally butt dialed Anne. She was screaming my name because she thought something was wrong with me, especially after she heard me say, “Yes Lord, I am here Lord” When I finally picked up the phone I told Anne what happened. She was actually really concerned about me and said, “Just come home, John”.

That night, I left a voicemail to the head of finance for all of Europe. I told him that there was a slight problem with the office door. I know he had no idea the extent of the damage until one of the reps in Frankfurt took a picture of it sent it all over Europe (By the way, I know who you are!) The picture got all the way back to the US and I received a call from Corporate HR asking me if I was Ok. In a nano second I had to make a decision as to whether I was going to blow the whole place up or take my lumps and accept the humiliation. I decided to take my humiliation, pay for the door and get back to work. I must say the intensity of my return to work was epic. I put the entire region on notice and started doing forecast calls multiple times a day. It was a little rough for all of us for a bit. Finally I settled in and began to lead the region in a more appropriate way.

Good times, good times….

I stayed in Europe for a total of 5 years. I went on to work with the entire International sales org. I learned a ton from all of you!

Anne and I still belly laugh about the butt dial from God!