WHO ?

Who do you want to be in the future?

This is a question that haunts me to this day. Am I already?

Do I know well enough who I am?

Have I become someone already?

?Not that I am concerned that I never knew what was the correct answer to that question. When you say you will be a cosmonaut, they say you are crazy. Can I be a painter and paint people's houses - it is impossible to make money on it. It always seemed to me that the answer varied depending on who was asking the question.

I am trying to disassemble and disarm this question. Because it contains both curiosities about the future and a hidden expectation that you have to become someone and become someone else. It was only as an adult that I saw in this question the curiosity of those who asked it. They really wanted to know what interests me, what is important to me, what I think and dream about, and how I imagine myself.

And what did I hear and feel as a child?

First, I should know it by now. That's good to know. Second, there are professions you better aspire to (people rave when you say you want to be a doctor) and, of course, jobs you better stay away from (your aunt's disappointed sigh when you say you want to be a nurse, and questions: "Why not a doctor?"). Third, that I should become someone, that is, that as I am is not enough. For many children, this is an extremely difficult question.

How can a six-year-old know this?

He may have his dreams - but then a "lawyer" is an equally good answer as a "shark slayer". Only children are excellent observers, and they can tell flawlessly when adults like something and when they don't. They will quickly learn which professions are accepted by adults with greater enthusiasm. This question is actually a reflection of the adult vision of reality. Orderly, defined, predictable. One where people have professional degrees, and that's important. One where professional achievements are the goal. It also reflects the expectations of adults towards children. Certain job titles are better than others - they bring you more respect, prestige, admiration, and money. The process of obtaining them starts early - take care of grades, because the certificate, take care of the certificate, because high school, take care of high school, because studies, etc.

Something is sure to happen. And of course, it's not good. Hands up, who has never had such a feeling. Don't worry - fear is human. This is well known to all - worries, or thoughts about a supposed pejorative event that makes us anxious. The focus on the negative aspects of life results from human evolutionary conditions. In the past - paradoxically - the most important thing for survival was fear. When the threat is real, the levels of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline rise, triggering a fight-or-flight response. It used to be mostly about not getting eaten. Today, the potential threats are definitely different. Tangible fear is relatively rare. More often, the response of the psyche to the outside world is fear. Just as fear is fear of a real threat, so is fear of what we think.

What if we stopped talking to six-year-olds, eight-year-olds, and ten-year-olds about professions? There is satisfaction in achieving professional goals, but it does not necessarily lead to a happy life.?

What I should?set my internal GPS too??

What to talk to your children about in the context of the future?

What / what are you like? What do you like? What's important to you?

These can also be difficult questions. But when looking for answers to them, you can rely on reality, not predict the future. We can help children better understand themselves, and discover and nurture what is strong and unique about them. Instead of asking "who will you become?", We can ask questions that help us to know and understand ourselves.

What do you like doing? What do you love to do?

What are you reading right now?

What do you feel like spending your time on?

What made you interested in school yesterday?

What are you dreaming about?

What would you like the world to look like in the future?

What's important to you now?

You want to become the best version of yourself you can possibly be. You want to grow. You want to change. You know you can be so much more, and you want to evolve into that person. I get it. The answer is yes. Although there is one thing you may not have realized. Being and becoming are essentially the same thing.

What does that mean??

It means that to?become, you have to?be. You have to?be?that person in order to?become?that person. Becoming is simply the gradual process of allowing yourself to be. People often don’t consider this, so they postpone their ‘becoming’ to some remote point in the future. We wanted to broaden the horizon, and take into account the directions set by important needs and values. This can be done by offering the children to look at Important Matters and reflect on those that are most important to them at the moment.

?Kill this fear, -First of all, you have to accept that the vast majority of us have no influence on the matters that worry us. I mean, we have control - we can stop worrying because we can't change their course anyway. Of course, what we can control - let's influence! Let's live in the present - here and now, remembering that the past has passed, and the future is yet to come, which does not mean that they are not important. Are! When you pronounce or even think these kinds of statements, you imply that some sort of ‘shaping’ has yet to take place before you can finally live as your desired self and take what is rightfully yours.

‘Becoming who you want to be’ implicates that there is a gap between who you are now and who you seek to become. In other words, the interspace you create between your present self and your future self makes it impossible for you to grow into that highest version because it will remain exactly where you placed it-In the indefinite future. When you assume that the qualities and attributes you associate with that higher version of you are yet to be adopted, you put yourself in a place of not having them. Wanting something puts you in the energy of not having it. Hereby you emphasize the lack of something you want to own or embody because you don’t see yourself having or being it at present.

Why?

Because chances are you still feel incapable or undeserving of being that person or achieving that thing, which again reinforces a mindset of scarcity. What happens is that you generate a dissonance between two separate entities that are actually one and the same - You.

Studies of neuroscience have found the following:

"The constructive episodic simulation hypothesis states […] that past and future events draw on similar information and rely on similar underlying processes, and that the episodic memory system supports the construction of future events by extracting and recombining stored information into a simulation of a novel event.”

So by imagining your higher self with all its details and characteristics, and by assigning a strong emotional reaction to it, you mentally fabricate a memory of this future version of you which you can then manifest into existence. The key here is to not only see who you could become but to feel it as though it was already a reality. Feeling then means aligning with that vision and to embody it with all your senses. The bottom line is, that change and growth do not occur by imagination alone. You have to associate your identity with the person you wish to become. There are different ways to practice this, and from my personal experience, I can tell you, they work.

To be honest, I used to not believe in this kind of thing, either even I always believed in destiny. But once I have read a lot of material backed up by evidence from research and studies in the field of neuroscience, quantum physics, biology and genetics, I realized how little I knew about the power of the subconscious mind. In the end, it’s up to you. Are you still becoming or are you already being?

What could be important for children?

Have adventures. Get excited about what I'm doing. Be good/kind to the planet. Be close to people. That it was fair. Determine. Do things that matter. And many others. Knowing what's essential helps you make room in your life for these things. Our interests, needs, and values can act as internal navigation. They allow you to set or maintain a course of action, make decisions, and help in moments of uncertainty. Talk to your children about it and help them develop internal navigation. Then - whoever they "become in the future" - they have a better chance of having a good life, in harmony with themselves.