Who is learning here? Reflections on school refusal
Alicia Cook
I help people develop the skills and knowledge to transform their organisations from the inside-out | Managing Director | Transformational Coach | Facilitator | Speaker | Inclusion Advocate
Today, I read an article that resonated with me so much that I thought perhaps it was time to let the world know about what is a very challenging situation in my household, and perhaps add to our story over time so those having similar experiences know they are not alone!
Over the last 18 months, my little family has struggled with school avoidance (often termed school refusal, or at the other end of the spectrum, "school can't" which is probably the most appropriate description). It's culminated in a decision a few months ago to pursue home education, not after we tried three different schools and followed lots of oft-given advice on getting your kid to go to school.
Deciding to home educate was a hard decision to make - initially I saw it as a binary choice (work, or home school) when in fact I have been able to engineer the most flexible mash-up of the two. I am fortunate to be self employed, and cannot imagine how I might negotiate bringing my child to work each day if I were an employee in a larger organisation.
It made me ask myself an uncomfortable question. How much of the education system do we accept to be a form of 'child care' while parents work, and how much do we expect it to provide academic learning opportunities? What weight do we give to the social and emotional aspects of the school experience? Is the school setting the only or best place for these things to be happening?
Would we force our disabled children to endure something that is a source of great distress (and in fact, ensures their brains are so stressed they can't actually learn a thing) purely because we do not have any appropriate alternative childcare for working parents other than the school system? In fact, do we really have a universal public education system in Australia?
If you think about the kind of adults we hope our children to be in the world - ask yourself - what do we need our graduates from school to actually know, and what do they actually need to be able to do to be 'successful'? (It will depend on your definition of success!)
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Truth be told, these days the skill is actually on knowing where and how to efficiently find an answer to something when you don't know it, and not necessarily having an exhaustive generalist body of knowledge.
Today, I am writing this from an airport lounge, where after completing 'formal' learning for the day, my son pursues his great learning passion which is systematically studying video game play strategy... This is where he is truly learning, and his expertise in this space is formidable. It is an uncomfortable truth, and I will write about screentime and parental judgement on another occasion. I prepare for my day ahead.
It is certainly not straightforward, but in this brave new world, our neurodiverse children protest the irrationality of institutionalised learning (and make no mistake, it is primarily neurodiverse children who are doing this lobbying and they are being very effective in making their views known). They are right, there is a lot about our education system which is nonsensical. In fact, I have discovered that the future of education actually lies in self-directed learning, just-in-time research, and pursuing deep spikes of interest. As an educator, one who is rapidly learning on the job - (the irony is not lost on me) - it forces me to consider just what will the jobs of the future be for our children? I suspect, something that leverages off AI and "the next big thing or two after that" in ways I cannot yet imagine. What will they really need to be good at in order to live in that brave new world?
National Coding Operations Manager
1 年Its been a very long school refusal, which I prefer to call school can't, journey for us. I am forever grateful to working flexibility I have received but the impact on my career cannot be overlooked. I was unable to work full time along with many other factors. There is no quick fix and your child's health in the long term is paramount. We are currently deschooling and looking at other opportunities. I wish you all the best in your journey
consultant | expert health communicator | project manager | quality improvement | knowledge translation | writer
1 年Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. I'm so pleased you’ve found something that works for both of you, it can be quite the journey to get where you are. Couldn’t agree more that the skill sets of the future are not going to be about learning or holding information but asking questions, solving tricky problems, creativity and collaboration, and all those wonderful individual human qualities and skillsets that make us unique in our perspectives and what we bring to the world. Our kids and young people need spaces available to develop these skills and qualities - this can be in or out of more traditional ‘learning environments’. School is not the only way (our workplaces take many different forms, why not our learning environments?). It's so important that our chosen learning environments reinforce individuality, creative sparkle, collaboration, open-ended thinking and joy of learning for kids and young people. That’s where our magic is - individually and together - and what will be important in our futures. Here's to an education system that can learn from the families doing this work, and taking steps to change the system for their kids. Thanks Alicia for sharing - so many of us can relate.
Supporting healthcare leaders to prevent burnout on their leadership journey | Founder at EmPowering Humans
1 年I resonate so so deeply with this Alicia, my little family share many similarities, it’s incredibly challenging and takes its toll. Good on you for your approach. Thank you for sharing! This is an ever increasing issue for young people and their families with a disappointing amount of support and understanding available, in my experience. Unfortunately the education system doesn’t have the answers for this challenge and understanding is limited but the damage and harm caused by this is shocking. We (society) need to do better. Good luck ????
Health Information Manager
1 年I am not familiar with the term “school refusal” Alicia- if it means child refusing to go to school, I have no experience (my son did not refuse). Maybe a couple of good friendships of school children, before or after school-care to see fun items associated with school….good luck.
Director Digital Health
1 年Beautifully articulated a commom scenario for many neurodiverse families Alicia.