"Who Not How": Achieve Your Goals Through Collaboration (Not Working Harder) - Part 1

IN THIS ISSUE

• "WHO NOT HOW": LESSONS FROM THE BOOK BY DAN SULLIVAN AND DR. BEJAMIN HARDY (Part 1)
• SHIREEN'S SALVOS: PLAYING TO YOUR STRENGTHS
• UPCOMING EVENTS: LINKEDIN BASICS; THE NEXT CHAPTER

"WHO NOT HOW": ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS THROUGH COLLABORATION (NOT WORKING HARDER)

In keeping with the theme from the last newsletter which focused on building networks; this issue focuses on how to use collaboration to achieve your goals. It is based on the book "Who Not How" by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. The book was recommended reading in a business coaching programme i was part of recently. Please read the book if you are stuck in the belief that you must do it all yourself. The really interesting fact about the book is even though it was a collaboration, Dan Sullivan didn't write a single word! The book was written by Dr Hardy using the ideas and vision of Dan Sullivan, mixed with his own. In a nutshell, each played to their strengths in this collaboration and voila!

The book focuses on four themes which I will discuss in more detail. This issue of the newsletter focuses on the first two themes: Freedom of Time and Freedom of Money. Part two will focus on Freedom of Relationships and Freedom of Purpose.

The authors start the book with this profound question:

What would be possible for you if your capabilities and potential were expanded by other brilliant Whos? In looking at your own life for a moment, how much of it are you trying to shoulder alone, for one reason or another?

The authors suggest that you ask yourself a "new and better question". Stop asking yourself, "How can I accomplish this?" and move to the better question which asks: "Who can help me to achieve this?" I must confess I broke out in sweat when I read this. I mean - I can only trust myself to get this thing done, even if it kills me! But of course, this is also the biggest lie we tell ourselves to feel relevant and justify busyness as a survival strategy.

REFLECT ON THIS

Before we explore the key themes in the book, lets start with some reflective questions asked by the authors to get you to think about how thinking who not how can transform your life.

Take some time to journal or reflect meaningfully on these questions, paying attention to what comes up that discourages you from exploring a new way of being.

• What would happen in your life if you asked this question about everything you wanted to accomplish?
• What would happen if you asked this question about everything you've been procrastinating to do?
• How would your goals change if you could find people Whos--that could help you achieve everything you wanted in your life?
• How would your confidence change if you had several Whos producing the results with you?
• How would your time be spent if you were no longer the one doing every-thing?
• How would your income change if you could achieve all your goals, and not just some of them?
• How would your sense of purpose expand if you had brilliant Whos that made your goals easier to accomplish?
• How would the quality of your relationships change if you could invest more time and money into those relationships?
• What if you had access to anyone you wanted to learn from or collaborate with?

FREEDOM OF TIME

The key points the authors emphasise here is that:

• Freedom of time is not fixed, but flexible... not finite, but infinite. BUT, time is finite and to benefit from who not how, you must be able to master your own time.
• Freedom of time is not only about having all the time to do what you want; but more about using your time on "increasingly quality activities".
• Focusing on the how can stifle your creativity. Research shows that only 16 percent of creative ideas happen when you are working. Instead, ideas come when life is happening. You need time and space (and "relaxation and recovery") to allow ideas and solutions to emerge.
• Who not how focuses on building and using relationships, and being transformed by them.
• The first who is YOU - improve yourself, value yourself and ensure that you are happy, creative and connected to the most important people in your life. This is so important! I have learnt that in order to make the best of, and build mutually beneficial relationships, I must know myself, know my own desires, and prioritise my dreams and wellbeing. This includes knowing what I am passionate about and love doing, because this is where I want to focus my energy.
• The authors make reference to the self-expansion model of Drs Arthur and Elaine Aron which states that humans have a primary motivation for self-expansion, which is the "desire to enhance your efficacy or confidence". As a person your efficacy is not about what you can do on your own or about your individual skills and competencies. Rather it is about you finding the resources / relationships that make the achievement of your goals possible.
• If you focus on doing everything yourself, then you are significantly limiting the resources you can apply towards your goals. If your resources are limited, it means your potential, your options, and your future are limited too.
• If you want increased freedom in your life, you need Whos - friends, family, colleagues, subcontractors, coaches, mentors, etc.
• The authors argue that you control your own level of commitment to your future. By making the "courageous step" of investing in Whos, your capacity as a person increases. Focusing on the "How" decreases your freedom of time.
• Procrastination is a very powerful sign telling you that it's time to get another Who involved. "You're stuck. You need help". I know that when I procrastinate it is because I have to do something I don't enjoy or am not good at . I have learnt that tasks that make me procrastinate (and then negatively affect my motivation).
• Finally, the authors argue that Who Not How is simple. You define the vision, find the Who or the Whos, and then let them create the result - saving you time and a lot of frustration.

We all have Whos in our lives we rely on, who help us achieve our goals and support us in various ways. Likewise, we are all Whos to other people, providing some form of support or connection they need or want.

FREEDOM OF MONEY

• By investing in Whos you not only use their time and resources, but also free yourself up to focus the actions that matter to you. This could have a positive effect on your earning capacity. This is the freedom of money.
• Freedom of money is also about having the money you need to solve whatever problem you may have. This freedom arises when you direct your time and attention towards higher impact activities - "you can have way more money if you commit to having more money".
• To leverage freedom of money ask yourself: "Do you really want to focus your attention on this task? Could you spend your time in better, more exciting ways? Could you find a Who to do this for you - someone who wants to do it, and would see you as their Who if you gave them the opportunity?"
• The authors argue that when you free yourself up from various tasks, you not only free up your time, more importantly, you free up your mind which gives you space for creativity - exploring new opportunities and investing in development opportunities. This resonates deeply with me. In the last 6 months the overwhelming load of tasks has negatively affected by ability to focus on creative projects and the development I feel I need. So now I am focusing on finding the Who to provide me with support on the tasks I don't like, I am not good at or that could be done better by someone else.
• Until you free up your time, "your mind will be caged". Free time gives you a free mind - a free mind can take your thinking to a higher level. Freeing your mind also has a positive impact on your energy, allowing you to show up as your best yourself because your Who is helping you to focus your energy in the right places.
• The authors make reference to the concept of "flow" which psychologists say is the ability to totally absorbed in what you are doing. However, flow states become more difficult as we become more successful. "What got you here won't get you there". A Who can help you handle this increasing complexity created as your work and influence reaches more people, so that you can continue on the growth path.
• Whos are an investment, an investment in yourself. Every time you free yourself up by investing in a Who, you have just made a huge investment in yourself - no more decision fatigue. Research has shown that the more decisions you make, the lower the quality those decisions will become. Whos can help you make fewer but better decisions.
• Your income potential increases dramatically because you can focus on tasks that will make a huge impact. "Money avoids the person who doesn't value their time. Only those who improve their time, value it, and use it more effectively experience money freedom".
• Ultimately, Whos are an investment. The authors note that if you are investment-minded, then you will transformational in your relationships, including the relationship you have with yourself. By shifting your focus from cost to investment, you stop worrying about what you're giving up and instead, realise that by making powerful decisions you can make enormous gains.

Our culture has brainwashed us into avoiding costs rather than making powerful investments in ourselves and our futures. As a result, we willingly do all sorts of "busy" or ineffective work outside our expertise and passion, falsely believing that "working hard" or engaging in such tasks is worth it.

TAKE ACTION

Based on the learnings from this article, what one action can you take to explore a Who that can help you on that one task that has been sitting on your to do list forever?

SHIREEN SALVOS: PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS

After 30 years plus of working, and many spent working myself to the point of burnout I believe in the concept of doing what you love and getting a Who to do the rest. Here are some practical tips that have helped me:

• Pay attention to the things you do that come easy to you or that you can do without worrying about time. These can point you to your strengths.
• Observe what people come to you for consistently. This can point to strengths you may not be conscious of.
• Pay attention to tasks that cause you to procrastinate. I believe that I procrastinate when I don't like a task or I am not good at it. Don't do it. Get a Who to do it for you. Less stress and mental torture.
• Focus on all aspects of your life. Women live multi-dimensional lives with many demands. Do you really have to do it all? In my work, home and family life I try to find Whos that can help me with certain tasks. This saves me from being constantly distracted and allows things to get done even if I am not doing it.
• Do not use money as an excuse. Many people, women especially, are willing to do trade exchanges that allows you to get access to the expertise of someone else by sharing yours with them. Let people know you are open to this approach.

UPCOMING EVENTS

LINKEDIN: THE BASICS

Join this session where we will talk about:

• Dealing with mindset around "putting yourself out there"
• Why women need to own their agency (and visibility)
• Tips on how to make LinkedIn work for you
• Getting the Basics Right on LinkedIn
• Speed Networking

DATE: WEDNESDAY, 21 JUNE 2023, 6:30 - 8PM SAST

COST: FREE or R150 donation to Young Woman Thrive (Young Woman Thrive NPC, Capitec Business Bank (or Mercantile Bank), Account no: 1051065461, Branch code: 450105)

SIGN UP HERE: https://www.quicket.co.za/events/222395-linkedin-the-basics/

THE NEXT CHAPTER: EXPLORING THE NEXT PHASE OF LIFE THROUGH INTERVIEWS WITH WOMEN LEADERS AND EXPERTS

Launching in August 2023

SIGN UP HERE: https://forms.gle/8BosYoyVjgVR1WsaA and we will keep you in the loop.

COMING IN 2024:

FLOURISHING FINANCIALLY: GROUP COACHING PROGRAMME FOR WOMEN WHO WANT TO BUILD FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RETIREMENT SECURITY

SIGN UP HERE: https://forms.gle/8BosYoyVjgVR1WsaA and we will keep you in the loop.