Who The Heck Do You Think You Are?

We are often told,?"Don't hide your light under a bushel!"

But the reality is far worse than that!

You don't just hide your skills and abilities 'under a bushel', but you actually deny who and what you are and what you could become to yourself... all the time.

You hide who and what you are behind so many barriers that even you have difficulty in identifying yourself... almost to the point that your language (your narrative), and what you say consistently supports this prison that you have created.

You do this to the point that not only is it difficult for you to identify yourself to yourself, but you make it almost impossible to create and develop real relationships with other people... and you become a confusing mystery... not only to them but to yourself as well.

If you are so disconnected, then how can you actually build strong and trusted relationships?

Winston Churchill said of Russia in 1939 -?"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma"

I say of people -?"They are an identity, wrapped in a disfunction, inside a prison".

Often... when I am conducting a seminar or workshop I ask the participants who they are.

Typically the answers that I get are,?"I'm an accountant", "I am a social media expert", "I am a plumber", "I am a chiropractor", "I am a solicitor".

Occasionally someone may say?"I help people achieve financial security."

The biggest problem with these answers, is that they have not answered the question.

The real answer... is that they are a person in business.

A person in business first and foremost, and?NOT?what they do, or their function within a business.

You have gotten to the point that it is actually more important to have people believe in the shroud you wrap yourself in, which is your occupaation, and the underlying perceptions around that title, you continually put up this?MASSIVE?barrier between yourself and others.

As a consequence you have difficulty connecting with everyone around you in an effective and productive way, and because of this you continue to create a "Low Trust Environment", that you live in.

Stephen M. R. Covey states in his book,?The Speed of Trust?-?"When trust is low, everything takes a lot longer, costs go up, however when trust is high, things move more rapidly and costs go down".

Earlier I mentioned the term "business person"...

Recently, even I came to realise that this isn't actually a truthful designation. In fact, it is a?PERSON (first and foremost), in business, because the importance of framing our language correctly brings down old constructs and barriers and helps us to reconnect with people again.

When you start recognising that you are dealing with people, not a business person or a business or a title, then you will start making real connections and take the first steps in building strong and meaningful relationships.

The prisons that we have built around each other have been nothing short of disastrous, taking huge amounts of emotional energy to maintain and causing us far more harm than good, and as we continue to become disconnected, we continued to distrust everything around us and we become more and more frustrated, angry and depressed because things aren't working out for us.

So... How Do You Fix This?

Stephen M. R. Covey's,?"The Five Waves of Trust", is an excellent starting point.

Here we are not going to cover all the waves just the very first two, Self and Relationship.

The flow of the rest of them is self-evident and if you build strong trust with yourself and start building powerful relationships, it follows that organisational trust, market trust and societal trust start to occur.

How you use language is a big part of creating or deconstructing your barriers to the world.

You have been so used to using titles, position and structured identities, as well as the supporting language to create what is now proving to be the most ineffective way for you to grow in the world... both personally and professionally. You need to change your language behaviour and your perception of who you are in this world if you are going to fix this and start building good connections, great relationships and high levels of trust.

To start with, you will need to begin by changing some simple language frames. You need to start thinking of yourself as "Who am I?"... "Why I am important to myself and to others?"

Not "What, How, Where, When", I am??As these only support the old fortress you are trying to break down.

Let's start looking at yourself as a person that has value... not a title that has false constructs around it, or a job description where other people will overlay their perceptions on what they think of your profession... despite what you may think about what you do.

When you can simply answer the question, "Who are you?" With a simple,?"I am simply a person who is looking to connect with others to see if we can mutually help each other in our professional lives."?or tell a story that highlights the way?YOU make people?FEEL?when they interact with you.

Then... you are on the way to start connecting and building trust with others, so that you can actually move forward in the world more effectively and reduce the barriers to connection and communication and trust that currently exist in your life.

Perhaps one day, you may even have the courage to say, "I am simply a fractured, lonely soul that wants to connect with others so that we can help each other heal and grow and prosper."

Now wouldn't that be something?

I challenge you to "Get Connected and Get Successful", and build your business success by creating awesome FOCUS and TRUST in your networking, social media, writing and public speaking skills, so that you can reap the rewards that you deserve.

Happy connecting... :-)

Welcome to The Anarchist Marketer, a weekly newsletter where I share marketing, communication and networking insights and experiences to accelerate growth and success for your business and personal life. So, let’s see where this journey can take us.

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