Who Else Wants Super-Self Confidence When Interacting With The Wealthy?

The wealthy can be intimidating.

Oh, I know your initial reaction is “Not me. I’m super confident around the rich. They’re just like everyone else…put their pants on one leg at time…blah, blah blah.”

But we both know that’s not entirely true.

It may be mostly true if you, yourself, are rich.

Or, it may be mostly true, if you grew up around the wealthy. (Which would usually mean that you are wealthy, unless your folks were service workers to the rich.)

In those cases, the social anxieties are the same ones?that everyone has in any social situation.

“Will they like me?”

“What will I talk with them about?”

“Am I interesting enough?”

Those issues are true for most people when facing any social situation.

But the issues get magnified when it’s the very wealthy you’re interacting with.

So, since it’s just you and me, you can put aside the false bravado, and allow me to share some nuggets that will enable you to really be a lot more self confident around the wealthy.

It’s a simple list of mistakes that most everyone makes. The good news is that they’re mostly mental, so if you change your mindset they’ll become a thing of the past.

Let’s start.

Mistake #1: Negative self talk.?

You know what that is…it’s the dialogue that goes on in your head. For some people, they’re the hero of their own story…for others, they’re the ones who never can catch a break.

Think back to when you were a kid. Were you the one who focused on winning the competition? Or, were you the one, who desperately hoped that you didn’t come in last?

For a long, long time I was in the second group.

This is where the phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy” comes from. If you go into the conversation or meeting thinking that the affluent will immediately see through you, and know that you don’t belong…guess what??

They will.

Think that the wealthy would never do business with you because you’re not as rich as them? Well, your uncertainty and inner beliefs will cause that to become a reality.

What you say to yourself..determines how others perceive you.

OK-so what do we do about that? It’s one thing to say “Change your negative self talk to positive self talk” and another thing to really change that dialogue.

For a long time I resisted the whole “motivational” malarky. Thought it was a lot of poo-pah.

That changed when I started following Andrew Huberman on Youtube. He’s a neuroscientist out of Stanford. Really smart dude, who not only gives a lot of good advice about changing your internal dialogue, but also explains why motivational stuff actual does work.

After you’ve spend some time with Huberman, then check out some of the long list of motivational videos that are offered when you put in “motivation” on Youtube. Play them in the background, or when you’re meditating. Do it for 15 minutes a day.

You’ll be amazed at how your internal dialogue shifts in a really positive way.

Try it. If it doesn’t work…you’re not out any money. But don’t fall prey to that stupid trap of assuming stuff won’t work without trying it.

That’s just juvenile and dumb.

Mistake #2: Negative long held beliefs.

As Mark Twain said, “It’s not the stuff that we don’t know that gets us into trouble, it’s the stuff we know that just ain’t so.”

A lot of your beliefs about why the wealthy won’t work with you…will look down on you…ect, ect, ect…are just shit that’s been in your head for a long time.

Sure, you believe it to be true, but guess what? It just ain’t so.

Case in point.

I’m wealthy. Have been for a long time.?

I’m not telling you to brag, but rather to illustrate this next point.

Very, very few of the people I choose to do business with (and I’m talking about professional advisors not the guys that cut the grass) are as wealthy as I am.

It makes absolutely no difference to me how rich an advisor is when I’m considering whether to hire him or her. That doesn’t even enter into my decision making process.

I’m not alone in this. I did a very non-scientific poll in which I asked 11 of my friends (who actually are wealthier than I am) if they felt the same way.

Guess what? They did.

So get that belief out of your head. You don’t need to be rich to do business with the wealthy.?

Period. End of story.

The same is true for the other long held negative beliefs you have about why the rich won’t work with?you.

3) External messages.?

This is huge.

Listen to the news long enough, and and you’ll adopt the belief that world is a very, very dangerous place,?and the best thing you can do is to be very, very cautious.

Dumb.

It’s the news dude. They’re not in the business of telling you the way the world really is…they’re in the business of making you afraid so you’ll click on that story.

You’ve probably heard the old saying-“If it bleeds it leads.” That’s how the powers to be decide what news to serve up to you.

A steady diet of that, and who can blame you if you just want to pull the covers over your head.

Look, I’m not suggesting that you don’t pay attention to what’s going on in the world around us. I do subscribe to the belief that a well informed electorate is a key to a functioning society.

But…check your sources, and don’t dwell on the negatives or the inconsequential. The other day I overheard these guys talking endlessly about the US delayed response to shooting down a Chinese surveillance balloon. OK- interesting thing to comment on-much as the weather is an interesting topic. But they went on and on and on, getting increasingly agitated about the topic.

Why? What possible impact does it have on their life? Your life? My life?

I can’t tell you what to listen to, but I will tell you this.

Watch enough bad stuff, you will believe the world is dangerous, and you will become more and more cautious.

And that mindset will subconsciously impact your willingness and desire to try new things. It will reinforce that internal dialogue that “better not try that-might come back to haunt me.”

That kills the entrepreneurial mindset which is all about taking calculated and smart risks.

All this stuff is interconnected. You’ve got to head this off at the proverbial pass.

Edit what you watch. Be selective.?

And remember…it’s the news BUSINESS. Their overarching goal is to sell you stuff, and they do that by creating headlines designed to make you fearfully curious.

On the bright side…one of my favorite news headlines of all time was…”Headless Girl Found In Topless Bar.”

I mean, who could resist not wanting to read more?

4) Who you associate with

Who do you hang out with??

That group is either going to lift you up, or significantly bring you crashing down.

I get it-you probably don’t want to ditch your friends-but I sure as shit would add some positive uplifting people to the mix. People who are doing things. Trying stuff. Not afraid of failure and committed to learning. People that elevate those around them.

You need those people more than you may think.

And it’s not always easy to find them.

I know because I struggles with this for a long time. It wasn’t that my friends were downers, they just didn’t get where I was coming from-weren’t focused on the same things. They didn’t understand the challenges I was facing.

I didn’t have anyone to talk with for the longest time.

That’s where coaches and mastermind groups come in handy (especially the latter).

As Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “You want to grow your plate. Keep adding people to it.”

Hope this is helpful

Mark

PS: Want more great ideas for confidently developing business relationships with the wealthy? Go HERE