WHO ELSE IS STRUGGLING WITH PERFECTIONISM?

I have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I think it has to do with my personality of melancholy which has a strength of paying attention to detail, and the fact that I like everything properly done excellently. While striving for excellence is great, the downside of perfectionism is that it can keep us from taking risks and trying new things. This was my case for a very long time!

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There were times when I would rather not do something than do it poorly, which I thought was a good thing. But it has also kept me from doing a lot of things. There were also times when I would stay at a task and keep at it forever, hoping to perfect it before launching it. Perfectionism can lead to procrastination and missed opportunities. I almost missed publishing my first book, Dear Educator, which turned out to be a huge success when I eventually did. I kept redoing the manuscript over and over again. I recall my publisher WORITAL (then Pholar Studios) got rather irritated every time I called and asked him not to commence printing because I had just seen a typo or an error in the book. Or I had found a better way to rephrase a sentence.?

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One day, I decided that if I went on like that, we were going to go on forever on this book project and it would never be published. I simply called and told him to go on and start printing. And I must say people loved the book, which eventually spurred me on to keep writing and I have gone on to publish two more books, with a fourth on the way. Imagine all I would have missed to perfectionism! There would never have been my second book, The School Administrator's Companion, and Effective Boarding House Administration.

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The problem with perfectionism is that it's an unrealistic standard. It's impossible to be perfect all the time, and striving for perfection can be exhausting and stressful. You'll understand this if you've been in those shoes. It's essential to realise that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks are a part of life. We learn and grow from our failures, and they help us become better versions of ourselves.

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Overcoming perfectionism is a journey, and it's one that I've been on since I began my journey of self-awareness. I've learnt that sometimes, it's better to do something imperfectly and keep improving at it, instead of waiting for it to be perfect. It's better to take chances and get things done, even when they're not yet perfect. And I'm not in any way saying here that we should promote mediocrity. Far from it!?

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One of the things that have helped me on this journey is changing my perspective. Instead of striving for perfection, I strive for progress. I set achievable goals and celebrate small wins along the way. I also remind myself that making mistakes is a part of the process, and I learn from them.

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Another thing I would say that has helped me is learning to let go of control. Perfectionism can be rooted in a desire to control everything. However, sometimes, we need to let go and trust the process. We can't control everything, and that's okay.

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As I conclude, if you're struggling with perfectionism, know that you're not alone. It's essential to realise that perfectionism is an unrealistic standard and that making mistakes is a part of the process. Change your perspective and focus on progress, not perfection. Take chances and get things done, even when they're not yet perfect. Remember, it's better to have something done than to have nothing at all. Keep striving for excellence, but don't let perfectionism hold you back from living your best life.

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If you need a personal coach, I’d like you to sign up to have a one-on-one coaching session with me at https://www.calendly.com/nancyekpezu. You’ll be glad you did! As a life coach, I work with individuals to help them overcome barriers that keep them from achieving their goals and from being the best version of themselves. You might want to reach out at [email protected], or WhatsApp at +234-8035880367.?