Who do you Listen to?

How to Choose the Right Counsel for Success?...

Of all the mistakes I’ve made in my career (and trust me, I’ve made some major blunders), taking advice from the wrong people is right up there ~ it's high on the list!

We turn to those we love, we know, like, and trust...

...because it feels safe, it feels good, it feels right! And their opinions matter to us.

Imagine this: scenario-1...

Have you ever had that feeling where you're frustrated by something, you've got a problem with something and you don't have the solution? And you just need someone to talk to?

Well, what about talking to a family member? Maybe it's the person in your family that's always open. Unfortunately, they don't really understand what you do... But they're always willing, so you sit down with them and you share the problem that you have (because, well, you really just need a listening ear).

And as you observe the look on their face... You realise they just don't get it. They're not understanding it. You feel you have to reiterate the problem. And now it becomes even more frustrating because they're not understanding the issue. You're not feeling any better, and in fact, you're now feeling even more frustrated, right?

Imagine this: scenario-2...

You've got a best friend and you've got that same problem, you've got a frustration, something's going on for you.

You arrange a coffee, you sit down. And everything you say, they just get it. You can tell by their face, their body language. You can tell by their words, their response, the things they're saying. They're making you feel good because you feel understood. You think yeah, ok I've got this problem, but now I'm sharing it with someone.

They understand. They just get it. The things that they're saying are really resonating with you and it makes sense. You may not leave that coffee with concrete answers. But you do leave feeling a little bit better, because someone understood you and you feel more connected to that individual, and you feel that you can go to them again.

But here’s the thing: Neither of those scenarios are useful in moving forward the job of solving the problem. Why? because... not all advice is good advice, and it doesn’t matter how much we trust someone, if they steer us in the wrong direction (usually by accident), it can have devastating consequences!

I’ve seen it firsthand. Taking the wrong advice doesn’t just slow you down—it can derail entire ventures, relationships, even lives. It’s like setting off on a journey with a dodgy map.

Sure, the person who gave it to you might mean well, but that wouldn't stop you from walking off a cliff if you blindly followed directions that are wrong. And when the stakes are high, bad advice can cost us everything.

So the question we need to ask is not just who do we trust, but more importantly, who should we actually listen to?

Let’s stretch the point even further — listening to the wrong voices can lead to catastrophe!

I’ve watched people lose businesses, lose their savings, and lose their way entirely because they didn’t stop to ask whether the person giving them advice was really qualified to offer it.

I’ve been there myself, following advice from people who were more concerned about keeping me comfortable than pushing me to grow. The results? Wasted time, wasted opportunities, a waste of capital, and in some cases, complete failure.

That’s why who we listen to is a crucial question to ask. And to get the ball rolling, here’s a list of 8 things I’ve shared with my business coaching clients. They're 8 things I've learned (the hard way) about choosing the right people to guide us:

1. Listen to those who’ve been where you want to go.

Advice from someone who hasn’t faced our challenges is like getting directions from someone who’s never left home. It’s easy for them to say, “Go this way” when they’ve never had to navigate the terrain.

But someone who’s already been through the battle scars and bruises can tell us what to watch out for, what to avoid, and how to stay the course. Their advice is forged in the fire of experience. Without that, it’s just speculation.

2. Look for a proven track record that’s survived the storms.

Short-term success can be an illusion. We need advice from people who have weathered the storms and come out the other side, not just someone who hit it big once and got lucky.

I’ve seen people follow the lead of so-called “experts” who had one good year—only to crash and burn when the market shifted. Look for those who have stayed successful when things got tough. Their advice carries weight because it’s built on real, lasting results.

3. Seek advice from those who understand the real stakes.

It’s easy for someone to tell us what to do when they’ve never had skin in the game. But we need people who understand the pressure we’re under, who know the weight of the decisions we’re making.

When I listened to people who didn’t understand my challenges firsthand, their advice sounded good—but it wasn’t practical. We need voices that can say, “I’ve been there. I know what you’re up against, and here’s how you get through it.”

4. Align with people whose ethics are as solid as their advice.

Not all success is created equal. Someone may have made a fortune, but if they cut corners, burned bridges, or compromised their integrity to get there, their advice will lead us down a dark road.

I’ve seen people follow advice that led them into murky ethical waters—and once you’re in, it’s hard to get out. We need to seek out advice from those who value integrity, who have succeeded and kept their character intact.

5. Surround ourselves with people who push us, not protect us.

I’ve made the mistake of listening to people who wanted to keep me comfortable, to shield me from risk. That kind of advice may feel good in the moment, but it’s a slow death for ambition.

We don’t need people who coddle us—we need people who push us, even when it’s uncomfortable. Growth doesn’t happen in safety. It happens when we’re stretched, challenged, and made to face what we’d rather avoid.

6. Listen to those who play the long game, not the short-term hustle.

Bad advice often comes in the form of shortcuts—get rich quick schemes, or short-term gains that ignore the long-term costs. I’ve seen people take bad advice that boosted them temporarily, only to see everything crumble later.

We need voices that understand the value of patience, of building something that lasts. The right advice may not always be glamorous, but it’s solid. It’s the difference between a flash in the pan and a fire that keeps burning.

7. Stay clear of emotional biases — (look for objectivity).

This is a tough one... We love the people close to us, but they’re often the worst ones to take advice from, because they’re too close. Their advice is wrapped up in cotton wool, protecting us from harm (and sometimes in protecting themselves from watching us fail).

We need objectivity. People who can tell us the truth, no matter how hard it is to hear. Because sugar-coated advice is the fastest route to a dead-end.

8. Listen to those who evolve, who aren’t stuck in the past.

The world's moving fast and AI is changing the rules of the game. What worked in the last two years might be completely irrelevant today. We need advice from people who've kept up, who are still learning, still adapting, still moving forward.

People who refuse to evolve are dangerous—they’ll lead us into obsolescence, and by the time we realise it, we’ll be too far behind to catch up.

The Consequences of Taking the Wrong Advice

Now here’s the blunt reality: I'm labouring the point... and I'm deliberately labouring the point to make the point... taking the wrong advice isn’t just a small detour - it can lead to disaster.

I’ve seen people lose everything because they followed advice from someone they trusted, only to realise too late that trust and expertise are two very different things.

When we’re making big decisions—whether it’s launching a business, taking on a new project, or investing our time and money—we need more than good intentions.

We need solid guidance.

I’ve made the mistake of listening to the wrong voices more than once, and it’s cost me time, energy, money, and progress. But the good news here is: you can learn from my mistakes. You can be smarter about who you listen to and how you choose your counsel.

So, the next time we find ourselves seeking advice, we need to ask ourselves the question: Is this person really qualified to guide me?

The wrong advice can cost us everything. The right advice can change our lives!

The Business Podcast Version:

Here's to your OUTRAGEOUS Success

Alan