Who Do You Follow?
If you're only following yourself, you'll find it difficult (if not impossible) to improve.

Who Do You Follow?

One of my favorite games growing up as a child was Follow the Leader. It was one of those games where you had to go where the leader went, do exactly what the leader did, and do your best to keep up - or you were out of the game. I loved it when we had a leader who would challenge us to get out of our comfort zone by doing things like jumping from the top of the monkey bars, balancing a seesaw so neither side touched the ground, crawling backwards through a storm drain, jumping a wide creek without getting wet or rolling down a grassy hillside.

Can you imagine playing Follow the Leader without a leader? How about playing Follow the Leader by yourself? How much fun is that?

But far too many of us live life just like that. We want to play Follow the Leader, and be the leader, but we are unwilling to follow others who may have something to teach us.

In my martial arts journey, I started as a White Belt, just like anyone who has ever donned a Gi and taken lessons. I had to be willing to submit myself to the leadership of someone who was further along their own martial arts journey than me if I wanted to learn, to improve, and to progress toward Black Belt Excellence as a martial artist.

Along my martial arts journey, I've had (and still have) many teachers and instructors. I've been privileged to train in Shorin-Ryu, Ju-Jitsu, Kenpo, Jeet Kune Do and Krav Maga as my primary disciplines. I've also had the privilege to be exposed to GoJu-Ryu, Judo, Aikido, Shotokan and other disciplines over the years - each one giving me the opportunity to learn something new, to gain a deeper understanding of the self-defense arts, and to add to my depth of knowledge and application in the Arts.

In Chapter 13 of the 15 Laws of Growth, John says, "Personal growth without the benefit of personal mentors could take me only so far...If I wanted to become the leader I desired to be...I needed to find models who were ahead of me to learn from." He concluded this opening thought with a powerful statement:

"It's hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow."

If you are committing to be a Black Belt Leader in Life, then you have to also commit to be a lifetime student of learning. Like the martial arts, the leadership journey never ends. The black belt is not the end, the destination. It is a demarcation that you've become a serious, lifetime student of a particular field of study. That requires you submit yourself to the teaching of one who is further down their own leadership journey, a Master Instructor in martial arts terms, so you can learn from them.

My dad taught me I could learn much from those who had come before me, many of whom I would never meet in person. I've learned the value of character and integrity from reading the Bible. I've learned how to improve my people skills from Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People). I've learned how to be more effective from Stephen Covey (7 Traits of Highly Effective People) and how to live an exceptional life of service to others from Mark Sanborn (The Fred Factor). I've attended conferences and listened to podcasts from great men and women who have inspired, encouraged and challenged me.

As a young boy, my dad bought me several books on martial arts, including several books by Bruce Tegner. While I could look at the photos and read the instructions on the pages, this could only take me so far. It wasn't until I was with a live instructor, someone who could mentor me, correct my mistakes and push me to reach my potential that I truly began to gain a mastery of the self-defense arts I was learning.

The same can be said for leadership. Until we can come to admit that we don't know it all, and identify a leader who is further along on the journey (and is willing to teach us), our potential will be forever subdued. You cannot become a Black Belt Leader in Life without the benefit of a personal mentor, and perhaps more than one, if the pursuit of excellence is your goal.

At the IMAC National Training Camp, held the third week of July each year, school owners, instructors and students gather for a 2-1/2 day camp to cross-train in various martial arts styles and systems. Each hour, a senior instructor in a given Art will teach something to those in attendance. On the floor, you'll see high ranking Master and Grandmaster Instructors training alongside white belts who are just starting their journey. Rank is set aside and everyone is a white belt, eager to learn something he or she can take back to their school, or add to their knowledge of the self-defense arts they already know.

Yet how many of us, in our chosen field or profession, are willing to be a "white belt" for the day or a season? I am not aware of any truly successful person who hasn't learned from others who are more experienced, talented, or skilled in a specific area.

Who is your mentor? Who is your coach? In the Law of Modeling, John references Kevin Hall's "A Coach By Any Other Name" who says the term COACH came from horse-drawn carriages in the 15th century that carried a valued person from where they are to where they wanted to be. What a powerful descriptor of the value of a mentor, a coach!

(Q) Who is helping you go from where you are to where you want to be?

(Q) Who is speaking regularly into your life to challenge you, inspire you, instruct you, hold you accountable and mold you into a better version of yourself than you are today?

In Japan, a Sensei is a teacher. A Shihan is a master teacher. A Soke is the headmaster (also called Grandmaster) of a style, system or organization. All are coaches, mentors, each possessing a deeper understanding of the content they teach. They have gone before their students, and show them the way. In one's martial arts journey, one learns at different times from one of more of the three...and at other times, from two, or perhaps all three at the same time.

So it is with leadership. To reach your true potential, to live a life of significance, and to live a life of excellence as a Black Belt Leader in Life, you need others who are ahead of you in their own leadership journey as a Sensei, a Shihan or a Soke.

Andy Stanley in "The Next Generation Leader" says:

"You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. It is impossible. You may be good. You may be even better than everyone else. But without good outside input you will never be as good as you could be. We all do better when somebody is watching and evaluating...Self-evaluation is helpful, but evaluation from someone else is essential."

In the martial arts, you can't award yourself your own black belt. It requires one who is ahead of you to validate your worth. The same can be said of leadership. Lineage matters. Those who you allow to mentor, coach and train you leave a piece of themselves with you that you in turn can pass on to others.

(Q) Who is helping you go from where you are to where you want to be?

(Q) Who is speaking regularly into your life to challenge you, inspire you, instruct you, hold you accountable and mold you into a better version of yourself than you are today?

Remember John Maxwell's words: "It's hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow."

Invest in good leadership reading. Start an accountability group and read leadership books together, discussing what you've read and learned. It's a great team building exercise. I've even prepared a recommended reading list of books I've personally read and endorse. You can peruse and order them here:

IMGA Global Leadership: Recommended Reading

Invest in a better version of you. How? Attend a leadership conference. Better yet, find and hire a coach or a mentor. (See details below) It is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself, and the lives of those you are leading or instructing.

You can't pass on to others what you don't possess within yourself. If you want to become a Black Belt Leader in Life, it's a lifetime commitment to learning, to being mentored and trained by others - so you can pass it on to future generations of leaders.

"It's hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow." (John Maxwell)

REMINDER: We are on Week Thirteen of learning to apply John Maxwell's "15 Invaluable Laws of Growth" to our lives. We spend one week focused on practicing daily one growth law, then the next week, we add the next growth law, without neglecting what we've already started to practice.

To order John Maxwell's 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, click HERE.

2X martial arts Hall of Fame inductee, John Terry is a motivational speaker, leadership, sales & communication coach and trainer.   

Through his coaching and training company, IMGA.com, John (and his daughter, Jessie) seeks to INSPIRE others to see their limitless potential, MOTIVATE them to pursue black belt excellence as a leader in life, GROW personally and professionally and ACHIEVE greatness through living a life of significance.  

For more information, schedule John (or Jessie) to speak to your organization or to book a personal, group or corporate coaching session, visit www.IMGA.com.  

If you are a faith-based organization, learn more about John and Jessie's outreach to churches, para-church organizations or faith-based volunteer groups by visiting www.DunamisFactor.com.

John is an Executive Director with the John Maxwell Team and is passionate about helping others pursue excellence as they become "Leaders in Life".  

Jessie is a Certified Speaker, Coach and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. By the age of 18, Jessie has traveled to Guatemala and Cameroon, Africa to challenge and inspire young people to believe in themselves, and (regardless of age) to pursue with passion the dream within them. She is actively involved in the JMT Global Youth Initiative. Jessie was the youngest JMT member to ever speak on the Big Stage at the International Maxwell Certification conference in Orlando, FL in February, 2018.

Jessie's first children's book, Ebenezer's Journal, is available on Amazon.com.

Join Ebenezer as he uses the power of imagination to transform Dr. Lime's School of Normal Monsters into something amazing. See AWARENESS on display as Ebenezer awakens the dreams of his fellow students to transform his school and his community.

A fun read that can start young children on their own personal leadership growth journey. Buy a copy for yourself, and a copy to share with someone else.

?Click HERE to order.?

Dr. Stephen D. Khalfani, Ph.D.

Former North Dakota State Director at the USMAA

6 年

I believe that often times it's tough for individuals to take their FALSE PRIDE and predetermined prejudices out of the personal life scenario. HUMBLE ourselves enough to learn from others and embrace their particular ideology or philosophy, in order to advance in life. I've had to get out of my own way in order to succeed in life and the Martial Arts. Timely written article my friend, Professor Terry. Well done!

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