Who Before Why

Reconsidering which question comes first

At this point, you’d have to be living under a rock if you haven’t heard about Simon Sinek and his thesis that organizations should Start with Why. It’s a grand philosophy, fairly simple at its core, and quite helpful.

Naturally, as with most helpful organizational philosophies, many people have begun to apply this similar thinking into their own personal ways of living. I would applaud this effort — and Simon Sinek for helping people reach such a place — as I do believe it is a philosophy which has generally led folks to more intentional living. Always a good thing.

All that said, in my own personal experience, I would push back on the idea that Why is the first question that requires an answer, especially when dealing with ourselves.

While our personal Whats and Hows will frequently change with time, even as our Whys should remain more constant, the most constant factor affecting how we live our lives will invariably be built upon our identity. In other words, I believe we should start by answering the Who question before searching for our Why.

Who are you?

Unfortunately, who we are is complicated. Self-discovery is a long process, arguably a lifelong process. We are always learning, and yes, we should always be growing. But I would contend that who we are at our very core is fairly static. As a result, answering the Who question becomes an effort of synthesizing all that we know of ourselves into a few simple, concise words.

Discovering who we are begins with answering deeply intrinsic, philosophical, even spiritual questions for ourselves, like:

• Where do you come from?
• What experience have you gained?
• What have you learned?
• What is your personality?
• What are your strengths and weaknesses?
• What are your beliefs?
• What are your values?
• How do you define success?

There are a great number of other questions I’m sure we could ask to learn more about ourselves. To arrive at answers to such questions, it can be helpful to lean on the value that other tools provide. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, StrengthsFinder, DiSC, and other such tests can help us answer some of these questions, while mentors, counseling spiritual books, prayer, meditation, or other intentional pursuits might lead us to others.

Who am I?

Of course, it’s not that answering Why holds no value — this is an important question we would all benefit by answering for ourselves. But I do believe that the origination point of our answer to the Why will lie buried deep within the Who.

For example, while I could speak to you at great length about my personal Why, to arrive at this answer, I found it by first identifying three core aspects of my identity:

• I am a son
• I am a community builder
• I am a starter

It is from these elements of my identity that I do everything. As a starter and community builder, for instance, that is Why I have given of myself to loving and serving my Phoenix neighbors through beginning efforts like PHX Startup Week, #yesphx, and planting organic churches. Or as a son, that is Why and the place from which I aim to father my three children. Who I am precedes my Why.

Who, then Why, then What, then How

In summary, I think we should answer Who we are, then Why we do what we do, What we do, and How we do it.

Perhaps you’ve already found your personal Why without clearly defining your Who. Fantastic! Regardless of the order in which it falls, I believe it is important question with which we must wrestle. So I’ll ask it one last time, because I’m just as interested as you are:

Who are you?

This article was originally posted on Medium.