Who am I, if I am not…?

Who am I, if I am not…?

Who am I, if I am not a father? A son? A husband? A brother? An Executive Director? A coach? A communicator? Cookies Guardian? I am the story I tell myself. This is both a limiting and liberating idea.

The lingering aftertaste of the ‘Dialogue in the Dark’ workshop reminds me of how easy it is to adapt to a new reality and how difficult it is to let go of a world I know. Giving up on a story that has defined me and beginning a new one holds so much power. In the darkness, I closed my eyes and began to explore the new world with my other senses. In accepting and allowing myself this opportunity a new me and a new story emerged.

For many years my story was “I am a smoker…” and then one morning I decided to change that story. I am now smoke-free (not counting the smog in Delhi). There are other stories that I am trying to rewrite. One big one right now is related to me the parent. I am an empty nester Vs. I am a free nester. Resisting the darkness or accepting it and embracing it is about flowing into a new story.

Why do I even need to define myself? I think it is about belonging. What is my place? Who are my people? The only way to find them is to signal to the world that “I am like this…” and “I like this…” and “I don’t like that…” and the more time is repeated the more the story takes hold and then I have an identity. I may be many things and do many things but my identity is defined by the repeated ones.

A good reputation is deeply rooted in reality and demonstrated by repeated actions. Stories then get told (about this behaviour) and that strengthens the reputation. The possibilities are endless, the stories to be told are many but choosing with care the ones worth telling is about life choices. I am not just the roles I take on in life. I am the sum total of how I touched all those in my life. The stories they (all those who crossed my path) tell about me, are who I am to them. For some, I may not have even registered. To some, I may be a villain. To others a hero or a saviour.

An “I”dentity is an inside job. How I see myself matters most. How all the others experience me is important but more important is that I see myself in the same way. This alignment of the inner me and my story with the story the world sees of me when congruent makes life easier to live. “What you see is what you get”. A misalignment causes much pain in the long run. Either the external world does not get what they signed up for or the inner world is in turmoil, trying to live up to an expectation that is not rooted in reality.

Why do we work so hard to carve out an identity for ourselves, our brands, our corporations, and our countries? Are we in search of a way to stand out from the crowd? Or are we trying to find a way to fit in?

Who am I if I am not…? “I am joyfully me….”. You decide who I am to you and for you, my job is to go inwards and work on being the best me I can be. I am not looking outside for answers right now, I am looking within, and methinks many organisations would be well served to do some deep introspection and inner work so that they too can be their best selves and not worry about how they are being seen, but focus instead on how they serve their ecosystem and how they are being experienced by their stakeholders. Purpose will lead to profits.

Photo by Buddha Elemental 3D on Unsplash

Article originally published in Reputation Today, on November 12th, 2024 #LeftBrainRightBrain

Srikanth Srinivas

Policy Analyst/Consultant, Writer, Journalist

3 个月

The question this post begins with - "Who am I?" - is introspective. Organisations are not, they are inccapable of it. They cn be learning organisations, but not introspective, because in every corporate entity, someone owns critical parts, like performance, value, innovation, etc. No one owns introspection, and at best, it's an occasional, even casual, exercise. So it takes.a giant leap to answering that question from individual to organisation levels. Someone will have to invent a process and assign accountability/responsibility within an organisation. Put another way, the organisational 'eye' sees no space for an organisational "I' .

回复
Gina G.

Corporate Communications Pro with 23+ years of experience with a PR toolkit for everything from beauty and entertainment to FMCG and startups—why choose one when you can handle brands of all sectors, shapes, and sizes?

3 个月

I loved this piece, Nikhil Dey; so much to reflect on.

Nijay N. Nair

Chief Executive Officer @ Adfactors PR

3 个月

…for when the questions stop, so does the music!

Somayaji Manikantan

Explorer | Companion for Business and Life expeditions

3 个月

Identify is something we need to transact with the world. Can one set that aside when one is by oneself alone ( without being lonely)? Also what if … the identity is not ANY of the story one tells oneself? Nice exploring Nikhil. Keep going… Next stop can be Thiruvannamalai perhaps? Best mani

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Nikhil Dey的更多文章

  • The Human Touch

    The Human Touch

    My first flight from the quaint little Mysuru airport was a pleasurable experience. Right from the moment we got out of…

    2 条评论
  • Searching For A Surgeon

    Searching For A Surgeon

    “Is he a good doctor?” ; ”Which are the best hospitals for this particular procedure?” ; “How much does it cost?” and a…

    3 条评论
  • No speeding

    No speeding

    “Safety always first, speed second sir” is the answer I got when I asked our always smiling driver in Sri Lanka what…

    6 条评论
  • Echoes of Expectations

    Echoes of Expectations

    Listening and responding to the expectations of others is important. Doing it in a way that honours who you are at your…

  • Take a chance on change

    Take a chance on change

    The dance between chance and change popped into my life by chance, as part of a podcast I was listening to. I was…

    1 条评论
  • Free Samples and the stories they tell…

    Free Samples and the stories they tell…

    On a Sunday morning, as I was heading purposefully toward my boarding gate at the Mumbai airport, I spotted a stall…

    12 条评论
  • Some Karela a Coconut and a Pink Rose…

    Some Karela a Coconut and a Pink Rose…

    The sky was painted in shades of orange as Deepa and I made our way back towards my parents home in Wayanad, Kerala…

    2 条评论
  • Disconnect to connect…

    Disconnect to connect…

    I am on my annual Christmas and New Year break and finding it exceedingly difficult to unplug. The need to get things…

    17 条评论
  • Unwrap the fear and find your gift

    Unwrap the fear and find your gift

    Remove the wrapping paper of fear and allow your gift to emerge. It is that time of the year when many gifts are…

    2 条评论
  • Who is the most interesting person you met in 2024?

    Who is the most interesting person you met in 2024?

    When I think about answering this question, what you seek, seeks you out, comes to mind. There is no right or wrong…

    1 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了