Who are all these people?

What does it mean to network?

This is something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about. Admittedly, for many years, I assumed networking was what everybody told me it was: a vehicle for you to meet other people professionally. The typical medium for this type of interaction was "networking events". A networking event was usually put on by a professional organization of some type. Often times it was a program that included content, but sometimes it was purely a social get-together, usually in a meeting room, restaurant, bar or similar type of gathering space.

For the first 15 or so years of my career that was all I understood about networking. I believed if you were not part of that culture, you were not networking.

I was wrong.

So let's start over but slightly modify our question:

What does it mean to network TODAY?

That's a better question. Here's my first stab at an answer.

Networking TODAY means meeting people.

That's it. That's the whole definition. Now, some people may say, "but why is just meeting anybody networking? Doesn't it need some type of business objective?" My response would be, no. You can network for many different reasons.

You can network as part of the PTO at your kid's school. I watch Andrea Merin engage parents at every school function we go to looking for volunteers and participants for various school functions she's involved with. She's always networking.

You can network socially. Perhaps you are part of a social club or similar interest group. You can network to find new members. I happen to play fantasy baseball and football. Each year we lose a player or two in the various leagues I play in. I have often found myself networking to find replacements.

You can network for a cause. Many people choose to minister or recruit for their faith or other belief-based organizations. This is networking.

You can network for romance. Dating is a form of networking and networking is a form of dating. Some may consider that to be stretching things, but I think if you looked at the characteristics of both activities, they line up surprisingly well.

Lastly, where we started, is you can network for business. But where once that was very targeted (sales or employment), now, the concept has expanded in so many directions. Ultimately, networking for business is just about meeting people. At best, it is about meeting people for no agenda simply beyond meeting them. Some of the people that I care about the most I have met for this reason. I wasn't trying to sell them anything. I wasn't looking for a job. I wasn't trying to recruit them. I was simply trying to make another connection with someone who I found interesting and wanted to learn more about.

From that initial networking connection, things grew and evolved, sometimes very quickly and sometimes not. But in all cases, these new segments of my network led to more segments, expanding my own reach and opportunity for connection. In some cases, I've been honored to even see my influence spread through some of these individuals, who have taken that influence and made it their own. The opposite has also happened. They have influenced me, and opened me up to new ideas and further connections with even more people and perspectives. We connect each other to others. For me it's as simple as knowing two people who don't know each other and introducing them. That's not about me, it's about them, and when they then form a connection, that's all the better for me.

None of this happens if I hadn't explored different mediums. This can include social media, professional organizations, non-professional organizations, topical presentations, and even book clubs.

I don't think there are right and wrong ways to meet people. People who are entering the profession often tell me they are having trouble meeting people. My advice is always the same: "be yourself and be interested." How you do that is up to you. But there's no wrong answer.

If you're not comfortable approaching strangers at networking events, then don't. Find a friend to go with so you have someone to talk to, or don't go at all. Find an organization that is doing something that interests you. That automatically gives you something in common with all of the people you meet. Take a class that has group projects. You'll be forced to meet someone that way. Find things on social media you like, and react to them and comment. Tell the author/creator why you liked it. You don't have to prove how smart you are. Just give an opinion. It can be that simple. Maybe they will comment back, or maybe they won't. Do it again, and again, and again. At some point you will get a response, and maybe that starts a conversation. I've done all of these . . . because let's face it, going up to strangers at networking events isn't something that I find terribly comfortable either.

Regardless, don't give up. Keep going. Reach out and find ways to connect. Build that network and keep it expanding. Treat every person who reaches out to you with dignity and respect. It isn't easy. Yes, you will get a lot of recruiters and salespeople, but remember, that is their job. You don't have to give them a lot of time if you aren't interested, but at least give them a modicum of grace and respect. You'll be surprised how quickly word gets out on that. You'll also inspire others to do the same.

If you're reading this, you're likely in my network anyway, but if you aren't, welcome aboard!