Whiteside's rules for mentorship

Like many of you, I owe a great deal of my learnings and successes to mentors. I drafted a few best practices that have worked for me in establishing effective mentor relationships in hopes that it helps you with the same.

So, as a mentee, what can you do to establish great mentor relationships?

1)?????Be intentional: you need to tell the mentor why you want to establish a relationship.?It is not enough to just ask “will you be my mentor”.?Specifically tell them what you admire about them and what you hope to learn from them.?Ask for their recommendation on the best way to effectively transfer that knowledge.?Is it a monthly meeting??A periodic job-shadow?? Regardless, be intentional and clear about your goals.

2)?????Be prepared: always, always, always have a list of questions prepared before the mentor meeting.?In fact, send those questions to the mentor before your meeting to show them exactly what you’re hoping to cover in your time together.?There is nothing worse than having someone ask for an hour of your time, and then they show up unprepared.?Mentors didn’t take the meeting to socialize with you.?They took the meeting to help you. ?Now do something about it and show them how much that you value & appreciate their time.

3)?????Report back: give the mentor updates on how you are implementing their advice into your life.?What kind of results are you seeing??Have you had to tweak their advice to make it work for you??Showing them that you are actually doing something with their advice is the payment that most mentors seek.?They are investing their time in you in hopes that it helps you to become better. Make sure to give them that reward.

4)?????Embrace loose mentorships: it is better to have a number of loose mentors, as opposed to one or two “formal” mentors.?In many instances I have people mentoring me who may not even realize that they are doing it, because I try to make it as seamless as possible for them (although I am still intentional – see point 1).?I’m a believer in leaving the mentor commitment open ended.?Don’t ask to tie them down for a monthly meeting.?Just let them know that you hope to learn from them and you’d appreciate the chance to get time with them periodically.?They are much more likely to say yes to this type of a commitment, and you are less likely to waste their time when compared to having a fixed, recurring meeting.

5)?????Find a way to help them: you might ask “how in the world can I do anything to help this mentor??They already have it made!”.?Regardless, over the course of your relationship you should try to find a way to help them.?It may not be initially apparent, but there is always something you can do.?Whether they have a child who is going through an experience that you can relate to.?They are struggling to recruit talent in your age bracket.?Or something completely unrelated to the mentor/mentee relationship.?Find a way to help them and that will forever establish your relationship as reciprocal.??