White Women: OMG!

I don't know where to start. How to describe the impact this book had on me? The minute this book was delivered I swept my eyes over the contents page and the preface and I was mesmerised. Hooked.

A book that wasn't written for a Black woman, but I was intrigued to see what Regina and Saira had to say. How honest they were going to be. These ladies did not disappoint. THANK YOU. They described behaviours and treatment I had received from white women and white girls all my life, it was like they were observing these interactions using a hidden camera.

I totally related to this section on page 30, "In order to navigate and survive your everyday racism, we had to study your every move, every pattern, every signal, every word. Just like you know men better than men know themselves, people of color know white people better than they know themselves. We know you'll do that, so we do this. We may as well have PhDs in white womanhood."

I thought about the instances when I met a new white woman, and my senses had me on high alert that they were not to be trusted. That they would throw me under a bus. They would use their association with me and discard me like a used tissue. But I would chastise myself that I had no evidence. My bias was kicking in, and I ignored my instincts. Guess what? I was never wrong. Not once.

They describe white feminism in action with thirteen points, including when they refer to themselves as 'colorblind.' We all know that's utter BS!

When they talk about how white women compete with other white women. Bitch and denigrate women like themselves to get on to appease white men. Then it makes sense why the 'sisterhood' doesn't include Black and brown women.

Regina and Saira go on to talk about how working with white women is killing us. I then think about the demographics of those working in the field of Human Resource Management. An article by ZIPPIA states that 70.3% of HR Managers are women, 29.7% are men, and the most common ethnicity for HR managers is white at 64.9%. So why are we still grappling with things like the gender pay gap or women in executive leadership roles and gender equality full stop? I am not forgetting all the white women working in the DEI space who focus on gender and LGBTQIA+ and then conveniently ignore the intersection with race and ethnicity.

For the white women who read this article, read the book White Women - Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better by Regina Jackson and Saira Rao. We know who you are, and so do the white men. They know how far you will go in your quest to be seen as their equal and like them. To be 'one of the boys.' Guess what? You'll never be one of them. How can you tell? They give you all sorts of clues. Such as when corporate events focus on activities such as rugby, football, and horse racing.

As you read the book, I'd like you to please note every time you've behaved or reacted in a way described in the book. There's your evidence in plain sight. You are going to feel sore as you read this book. You may even feel pain, embarrassment, and offended.

Deep down you know better, do better. It's not rocket science.

For those in denial, you'll probably just feel aggrieved and misunderstood. That you do support Black and brown women. You attend the Black History Month events, like posts that your colleagues post about racism, discrimination, and misogynoir, whilst simultaneous making comments about Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, Ngozi Fulani or Diane Abbott. When was the last time you said, 'Not everything is about colour? as you heard or read about an incident of discrimination, prejudice, and bias involving Black and brown women? Oh, I need to highlight the 'white centering' that frequently happens too.

To Black and brown women, read the book too. It might not make you feel better about the treatment you've received and the treatment to come, but it will help you not dismiss warning signs and improve your survival strategy.

Finally, to the Black and brown women who have behaved and treated others who look like them, consciously and unconsciously, because they want to fit in and not be seen as different. I have news for you too; you will never be one of them, and they enjoy watching you try.

I am now passing this treasure of a book on to my white wife, which I am sure will generate a lot of discussion between us and questions from her. "Have I ever done that? She's on her journey and is currently engrossed in the book "Black Maestro -The Epic Life of an American legend by Joe Drape.