White Privilege, An Introspective Look

I’m an avid runner and try to get in at least a quick jog every day or every other day. On the weekends, when I have more time, I try to go for a much longer run. Last weekend I ran 9.5 miles, which took me over an hour and a half. During this time, I thought long and hard about “white privilege” and exactly what it means.

Initially I thought about the fact that I could go for a run and not ever have to worry about a truck full of rednecks driving up behind me, harassing me and eventually shooting me. If a truck full of rednecks pulled up behind me, it would probably be some family members trying to get me to go to a BBQ or go deer hunting.

Then I started thinking that maybe “white privilege” was the fact that I could go for this lengthy run and not once ever have to worry about being stopped by the police, must less getting detained or killed. As my pace increased so did my mind, going further down this rabbit hole. Lack of police harassment or overt racism is just surficial “white privilege”. Is it possible for me to remove a cognitive bias about something that I have been privy to my entire life and develop a perspicacious view of “white privilege”?

I started to have flashes of memories throughout my life, just like a typical movie montage.  When did this “white privilege” start for me? This could have started way back in kindergarten when I turned in that subpar coloring and didn’t stay inside all the lines. Did I really deserve that smiley face stamp, or did my blue eyes put my drawing over the top to warrant a stamp on my paper and kudos from the teacher? Have these “free passes” continued throughout my life, all throughout school, college and work? Was there some sort of knowing wink or smile where I got a pass, over someone else or just got moved along because I looked like the person in power or the primary decision maker? The memories came flooding through my mind of various milestones in my life, first job, high school graduation, college graduation, first home purchase, various career changes and promotions, was this “white privilege” present during all these events, throughout my entire life?

Do we, as Caucasians function either intentionally or inadvertently as some sort of secret fraternity? We continue to give each other a pass so that we get to stay on top?  We must maintain this delicate balance of power so that we minimize our struggle and effort to stay on top? Just because it’s unspoken, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

This has really struck a blow to my fragile, white male ego. I have always equated “white privilege” with privileged.  When someone refers to “white privilege”, surely, they aren’t talking about me? “White privilege” is the white people who have trust funds, big houses, nice cars and multiple ivy league college diplomas on their walls. I grew up in a trailer park, my father was a welder and my mother worked as a cosmetologist. We never wanted for anything, but we were far from privileged. I always wanted more for myself, so I put in the extra time and effort in everything I pursued. I paid my way through college while working a full-time job. I’m sure you’ve heard that story before? For me to do that, I had to move in with my father, rent free, so I could cover tuition and books.  Did “white privilege” play some part in providing my father the ability to afford to have me move back in with him while I completed my studies? After college I worked for several large corporations and always gave 120%. Some would call me a nerd because I always put in extra time to read, study, review (insert product, service or corporate initiative here) etc., to provide myself with a better understanding of the “bigger picture” that each company was trying to achieve. Putting in this extra effort and longer hours always resulted in some sort of special assignment and eventual promotion with subsequent pay increases and title changes. I always told myself that I could be an incredible asset to any given company if someone would just believe in me and give me the chance. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate enough to work for several employers that were willing to give me that chance and I’d like to believe that I did not disappoint.

I’ve always attributed my strong work ethic and positive attitude as the secret to my success or what I’ve always perceived as a “self-made man”. I made my own success, no one handed me anything! Or did they? Has someone been handing me something all along and I’ve been so self-absorbed that I just never saw it? I’ve never believed in a glass ceiling or limiting myself in my pursuits, because, honestly, while it may take some time, I have always been able to achieve my goals.

I’m sure there will be plenty of people that read this and think, how could you not see this? Well, when you are so entrenched in something, it becomes difficult to see or understand an outside perspective.  It’s easy for someone to call another person “lazy” or belittle other groups of people for not working harder to better themselves. I did it, why can’t they? Did we ever think that the guy we perceive as lazy, because he only punches the clock, may not, in fact be lazy? Could it possibly be that the “lazy” guy has seen his father and grandfather bust their chops to get ahead in this world only to hit that extremely low glass ceiling very quickly? Could that “lazy” guy realize that his opportunities are very limited, so he is only going to put fourth the effort commensurate with his perceived/realistic opportunities?

This is a call to all the “self-made” people out there. Mr. CEO of your highly successful small business, Mr. Middle Management in that Fortune 500 company, Mr. Post Office Manager, Master Plumber, Lead Accountant, Artist, Musician, Oil and Gas Employee, Health Care Worker, Non-Profit Executive, (insert vocation of choice here). While I am sure we have all at some point in time, almost broken our arm giving ourselves a pat on the back for being “self-made”, we could all use a bit of introspection. I encourage you all to reflect on your life and career and how you got there. Kudos to you for putting in the hard work and effort but give some thought to the role that “white privilege” may have played in your journey to success. 

Think about those that must work twice as hard to achieve half of the success. I know we have all worked hard and couldn’t imagine having to work even harder. But try, for a minute, and image that the tables were turned, and we had to double all our efforts to get where we are now? How many would make it and how many would just punch the clock?

As I mentioned earlier, one of the keys to my success is always seeking to first understand. While I will never be able to fully appreciate the struggles of the black man, I can start by trying to understand the advantages I’ve (unknowingly) experienced throughout my life and appreciate the fact that not everyone has been afforded these same advantages.

So, before we become dismissive of other people, their struggles and their reactions to injustice and inequality, lets try and find some level of understanding. Please try and give some thought and consideration to your fellow man, even if your personal cognitive bias does not allow you to agree with their behavior or fully comprehend their struggle. If you are uncertain on how to proceed in any given situation, a good rule of thumb is, choose kindness.