White Fragility - Robin DiAngelo (????)

Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Book 37/52

Recent events in the US brought up a few very enlightening conversations at work and at home about race. This book was recommended to me by one of my leaders and mentors at work, Eric, and I literally binged it in the last 24 hours. It has been intensely insightful and extremely enlightening.

Racism is a very sensitive topic in the US and one that people want to avoid as much as possible. Those who live in racist hell every day have just given up on expecting anything better and have learned to live with it; there’s only so many times you can feel upset over the same shit over and over again. The rest of the country is too privileged to even notice or acknowledge that there is a deep rooted problem. This book forces the primary target audience, the white men and women of America to take a deep close introspective look at what is truly going on in the country.

Growing up in India, we tend to be very strongly racist too. Even today, when I’m talking to my close friends and family, I very casually refer to other ethnicities as “gorya”(white), “kaalya” (black), “chaptya” (asian), etc. While the slang is not meant to be offensive and I never say it directly to people, the fact that I’m so inherently comfortable with it means that I have an implicit racial bias that I’m not even fully aware of. We all do in our own ways and the point DiAngelo is making here is that we should bring those out, talk about them, understand how they impact other people’s lives and be receptive to feedback and willing to change.

When I stereotype someone, it is a pre-judgement which is a prejudice. When I act based on that prejudice, it is discrimination. Racism doesn’t have to be intentional; there are dozens of ways where a well meaning individual could have racial prejudices. This is aversive racism.

I am personally guilty of this on countless occasions. I always believed that racism is intentional discrimination. I learn today that it is not so, and, that I could have the best of intentions and consider myself very much progressive and unbiased, but, I do have certain tendencies that have grown on me over time as a result of the society I’ve lived in my entire life. Simple acts of pre-judgement and prejudice like avoiding a certain neighborhood to go grab dinner or consider buying a house there because the demographic is largely black and as a result the area is branded as high in crime and drugs and labeled unsafe.

DiAngelo also calls out how white people are always the first to jump and and be defensive at the very mention of racism. They refuse to admit their privilege, refuse to acknowledge the severity of racism and do not like their notions of their perfect world challenged. White women tears are when a white person woman cries when she’s challenged on being racist and the attention immediately shifts to consoling her and making sure she’s not feeling hurt by the feedback. The same emotion often manifests in white men as anger.

My only complaint with the book is that at times DiAngelo gets a little carried away and extremely attacking and offensive. The problem with this approach is that she will quickly alienate a large number of the very readers she wishes to target with her message. While we often say we should not ignore the message because we disagree with the messenger, this is a lot harder for most to implement. I do feel that some of her points could have been put across with more inclusive and less attacking examples.

Racism is an uncomfortable topic. But it’s about time we stop saying nonsense like “I don’t see color” and acknowledge that a problem exists, a very deep rooted, severe problem that needs us all to have open conversations and dialog, to truly understand how we can help collectively put and end to this and how we can emerge stronger as a society. It is time we challenge white supremacy, white solidarity and white privilege; and it is time that white people themselves lead the charge here.

How many more George Floyds, Ahmaud Arberys and Trayvon Martins need to die meaningless deaths before things change? How many more generations will choose to stand by and watch refusing to acknowledge that while it might not be their problem to fix, by not taking a stand and disrupting the status quo, they are being a complacent accomplice to injustice.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

#52booksIn2020