Is white a colour? Conversations with women of colour...

Is white a colour? Conversations with women of colour...

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There are two things that women of colour keep hearing (including myself) in conversations with women of colour and in conversations with non-women of colour. 

“White is a colour to”... (Also rephrased as: “is white a colour?”, “I’m a woman of colour as well, I’m white”, “we are all people of colour”, “white people are people of colour to”, “everyone is a different colour we are all the same inside”, “we all fight the same fight, I’ve had to work in a male-dominated industry” and “I’m a woman of colour to! We all are!” (when they feel defensive as opposed to self-identifying as one prior to the conversation based on the history of the term). 

The second is “I don’t see colour” (also rephrased as: “I see everyone equally regardless of colour”, “we are all human”, “I don’t see your colour”, “we all bleed the same” and “I never saw your colour or anyone else's”). 

Valid views I’m sure. 

When talking to Kemi Nekvapil about these conversations she said:

“If you don’t see my colour then you don’t see me”.

I can understand why this may come across as ironic to some. In my work with women of colour we want to embrace every element of who we are. We want you to see our colour and we want to embrace us for who we are - our colour is our identity. 

But simply said, our colour should not be the deciding factor when it comes to business and career opportunities or in how we are treated. Either consciously or subconsciously. Period. 

This is what we call - discrimination/racism/bias.

Kemi’s insight resonated with me deeply and I’m sure this resonates with many other women of colour.

When I was young I was told by my community and the wider Australian community (consciously and subconsciously) that I was ugly, dirty, low class, stupid and poor because of my brown skin. 

The relationship with our skin is cemented as we grow up hearing stories of how the “ugly duckling” (who is always almost never white in kid's storybooks) became a beautiful white swan and by hearing people define themselves as the “black sheep of the family”. 

As we get older we are then bombarded with images in the media of what beauty and success look like. And trust me, they don’t look like me.

Then we go to work and feel isolated and traumatised because of racism and discrimation. 

Jessie Woolley-Wilson, CEO of DreamBox

The experience of trauma never leaves. I know this for a fact because whenever I run a workshop or convene a session only for women of colour, the first thing they do is walk in thinking/saying “WOW, I am not the only one" and "I have never been in a room full of women of colour”. The second thing they do is start to share their experiences, struggles and challenges because they feel safe to do so amongst women of colour and also because I usually start off by sharing my own experiences which gives them permission to do the same. For many, they have been holding traumatic experiences in for years and years. From bullying, sexual harassment to racism and all that is in between. Experiences brought on because people saw their 'colour'....that they were 'different'.

Sometimes I get pulled into Linkedin threads about the above two statements and my response is this:

When you walk down the street and see people cross the other side of the street, when you walk into an interview room and see the panel physically take a second look at you because your anglo sounding name doesn't match their image of what you looked like, when you walk into a meeting and see once again you are the only person of colour, when you pitch for a job you know you are overqualified for only to see it go to another person (pale, stale and male)…when you hear racist comments indirectly targeted at you......you see and feel your 'colour'. 

I understand that everyone has had different experiences, beliefs, and views around race.

But what I find unhelpful is launching into conversations and debates around “is white a colour” and “I don’t see colour, we all bleed the same” or something to that effect. 

There is clearly something uncomfortable about the conversation that is triggering such a response and rather than the individual sitting into it and exploring what is underneath the trigger, I find that they want to make their statements known and heard rather than thinking twice how their comments may come across to us….Is this behaviour perhaps a micro aggression?

We are often told to speak our truth and that Australia is not racist country and we all equal…. but the moment we share our experiences of what it is like to be a woman of colour, we are shut down by unhelpful comments such as these as if to say “silence yourself!”. 

If you are one of these individuals my encouragement to you is to lean in, ask the person what their experience has been first. Ask them that if they are able to, to share and help you understand what it is like to be them. Seek to understand as opposed to pulling back on the trigger button. Sit in the uncomfortable because it is there that the learning and growth happens.

I once did this with a colleague and she immediately apologised if she had treated me in anyway that had been discriminatory. By asking me to share personal stories of racism, bias, discrimination, harrassment and bullying, she understood. I also shared with her about the history of the term women of colour, the career experiences, barriers and challenges of myself and other women of colour - she is now an ally. By listening she now understands and it has moved her to action to be apart of the solution as opposed to potentially contributing towards the problem!

My intention with this article is to encourage women of colour to keep speaking out (with love), to create awareness with potential allies regardless of unhelpful comments and to start thinking about what your response might be if you encounter such comments (again with love). Actively seek out and recruit potential allies inside and out of your organisation.

And for potential allies - It’s ok to ask, and to get it wrong. We all make mistakes but if you don't ask you won't grow and learn. If you feel triggered, sit and explore the root of the trigger and work to create a safe, inclusive and respectful space for all women of colour to speak their truth because trust me, we are constantly made to feel silenced and told not to share our opinions, experiences or thoughts with others. This is oppression. And when you hear comments that sound racist? Call it out (with love) and stand up for those that might feel like they don't have a voice. That is a true ally.

So what am I doing about it?

I am staying committed to creating strategies that provide progress on the equality front for all women of colour in leadership and entrepreneurship. I want to see CHANGE so I am taking massive ACTION. 

I have created #ColourFULL, a leadership and entrepreneurship conference and awards night by women of colour for women of colour and allies. The awards night is 6 March 2020 and the conference is taking place 8 May 2020 - we’d love to see you there, women of colour and allies together! Click on the above link for more information and tickets. This event will focus on solutions and strategies to create equality and career advancement opportunities for women of colour. Network, amplify your career and join a movement!

I have created Amina of Zaria, a digital platform and private membership community by and for women of colour. Here you will be apart of an incredible community for healing, empowerment and support, as well as find a mentor, sponsor, coach, job, co-founder and your next career opportunity. At Amina of Zaria, you can access a bunch of resources, online programs, and webinars tailored by and for women of colour to ensure you excel in your career, business and life. You will also get to attend face to face networking meetups, workshops and events curated by and for us. Be surrounded by like-minded driven and ambitious women of colour as we all work towards creating a more equitable future for all of us. Click on the above link for more information.

I am also Australia’s foremost Thought Leader in the advancement of women of colour and the future of work. I run leadership programs and workshops for women of colour and contribute towards people and culture strategies that are inclusive of opportunities for women of colour to enable them to advance. If you would like advice in this space please do reach out by emailing hello[at]winitha.com, I’d love to help!

If you enjoyed this article and believe in the equality of women of colour, then please like, comment and share this article.

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Winitha Bonney is an expert in the future of work and is Australia's foremost Thought Leader in the advancement of women of colour. She combines over 17 years of research and experience working as an entrepreneur to several startups as well as over 21 years of experience working in the corporate, for purpose and government sectors in various executive roles.

She is also the founder of #ColourFULL, Australia's first leadership and entrepreneurship conference and awards night by women of colour for women of colour and allies, and Amina of Zaria, a digital platform and private membership network and community to amplify the voices of women of colour and empower them to succeed in career, business and life.

Please note that any comments that don’t comply with our code of conduct will be deleted. 

Peter Mousaferiadis

CEO Cultural Infusion | Cultural Entrepreneur | Diversity Atlas | The Traveller

5 年

I look forward to the day when we are not dividing identity into us & them, color & non color, etc and seeing us as all part of the WE

回复
Eloise de Jong

Maintenance & Asset Coordinator | Bcomm International Business| Perth Rotary Volunteer

5 年

When are you coming to Perth? Can we chat PM

回复
Winitha Bonney OAM - Keynote Speaker

?? Global Keynote speaker; Facilitator; Executive Coach ?? Powering teams to lead the future today

5 年

Amazing thanks Eloise!

Eloise de Jong

Maintenance & Asset Coordinator | Bcomm International Business| Perth Rotary Volunteer

5 年

Can wait to read this

回复
Winitha Bonney OAM - Keynote Speaker

?? Global Keynote speaker; Facilitator; Executive Coach ?? Powering teams to lead the future today

5 年

If you are interested in the history of the term "woman of colour" here is an article I wrote about it:?https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/who-woman-colour-winitha-michelle-bonney/

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